So about a week abo my girlfriend was going through my breifcase while I was out. She found a bundle of pages stapled together, they were printouts from "Mystery's" guide to "Open" conversations with woman.
Now let me frame this. I've been with this girl for 18 mths. I'm faithful but for the first 8 months of our relationship I did on-and-off date other girls, one to three dates, no big deal. We are both divorced and in our late 30's so we are adults.
When the show "the pick up artist" was on VH1 i wondered "who is this "mystery" guy and what makes him so special, so I went on www.vht.com/vspot and got to his website, just at home alone one night bored...so I register on his site and start getting weekly email sent to me beucase I guess I was interested in what they had to say - I was curious....i never read the emails, but when getting ready for a long airplane flight decide to print and read them (i didnt) so now she insits I'm a cheater and liar - am i wrong to print those
2007-11-13 07:38:07 · 8 answers · asked by SillynSanClemente 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me add, during the first 8 months I told her repeatedly that we were not exclusive....
2007-11-13 08:05:11 · update #1
Good answers so far. She does have trust issues becuase I wouldnt committ to her right away and I maintained the "were not exclusive stance" but I dont flirt when we are out and I spend most all my free time with her. Go out with guy friends maybe 3-4 times per month, and I give access to my phone records and myspace password.
2007-11-13 08:10:47 · update #2
You are a cheater and a liar if you were dating other girls in the beginning of the relationship and she didnt know. She feels betrayed and rightly so. I recently found emails of my bf's on his account when he left it up one day from a year ago and he was planning on leaving me and I had no idea. Needless to say, we worked through the rough parts but she feels betrayed as I did. NO matter if you think it is no big deal, it is a HUGE deal to her. You better find a way to make it up to her and get out of the dog house and don't ever do that again.
Edited: Well if she did know that you two were not exclusive then that is her issue for sticking around and I can see how it would raise trust issues on her part. But she still feels betrayed and probably wondering why you are going to such websites unless you are looking for tips on how to pick up girls. Especially if you are planning on reading these on plane trips on your way out of town when you are away from her.
2007-11-13 07:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by jewels 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't use the word wrong. Maybe bad judgement. Use it as a learning experience. Don't print that stuff out when there's a chance your girlfriend might find it. She's not one of those people who's "cool" with it. How important is this simple curiosity that you're willing to risk rifts in your relationship to pursue it? You may also be curious about how Bill Gates spends his money but you would probably pass on it if you knew your girlfriend was going to have a huge problem with it.
As far as going through your briefcase while you were out, it seems like she has some trust issues. Is she like this with all her relationships or just you? Are you giving her reason not to trust you? Are you flirty with other girls when you're out with her? Do you go places for long periods of time and not tell her where you've been? I'm not saying this is necessarily you but ask the questions.
2007-11-13 07:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a woman's perspective I would be a little concerned with finding that. It also may have to do with her/your history. Maybe she has been hurt in the past and has trust issues...have you ever done anything in your relationship with her to cause her to mistrust you? If you have sat her down and explained why you had the papers it does sound like she is overreacting a bit. I don't think it is wrong that you had them, or that you read them...but I can also understand why it peaked her suspiscion.
2007-11-13 07:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by dhallkb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It's always nice to get information. U never know when u might use it, or just for a laugh. It's just entertainment. It's like her reading articles on how to find a man even though she's with u. It's just for fun. U"Ve just gotta reassure her that ur not going anywhere.
2007-11-13 07:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if u just tell her the reason why u were printing them out. if she dont believe then u might as well just break up wit her
2007-11-13 07:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by mustangsweetthing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just shows you aren't 100% committed to her, to go looking elsewhere.
2007-11-13 07:44:16 · answer #6 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth and if she dont believe u then ur relationship wont work
2007-11-13 07:43:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no but u should have destroyed them tell her wat u hav written on this except the dating bit and u should be ok
good luck
2007-11-13 07:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋