My girlfriend and I have been engaged for a few weeks now. The other day I was going through her text messages to look up my brother in laws number. What I found was her and some other guys conversation. He had sent her pictures of him and they were speaking of sexual activity. The date read one day before. What am I suppose to say to her?
2007-11-13 06:53:28 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her what the hell is going on? You two are now more commited than ever and she should not be talking to other guys that way
2007-11-13 06:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you going through her text messages is gonna make her hit the roof so you had better expect that. Then you need to explain why you were in her phone at all. After she settles down from that tell her that you don't appreciate the tone of the messages that she is sending this guy and ask her to explain. I don't really see how she can get out of this one without coming out bad. Ask her if she is committed to your relationship and ask her to step into your shoes for a minute. Ask her how she would react if it had been her to find sexual messages on your phone. If she seems unfazed then maybe you need to take a step back and ask yourself if you are ready to make a commitment to a woman that will do something like this before you are even married. I wish you the very best of luck and God bless!
2007-11-13 15:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude-that is a tough one as you do not know if she is confining it to a little fun, or has intentions of getting a little before you lock it up.
What type of pictures did she have? If "full monty", then there may be a problem here.
I would watch closely and see if she deviates from her normal schedule. How often do you guys hang out? Are there several free nights?
On free nights is she unreachable?
If you feel as though something is going on, you have to ask her.
Good luck-I hope this is just some playtime that went too far.
You may want to check the phone again and see if the conversation is still ongoing.
Maybe you will find she has advised him she is not interested?
2007-11-13 15:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by Sev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got to fess up to looking at the Text message now. Tell her that you were looking for the number and accidently got into the messages. Make sure you apologize for that.....but you can't ignore what you saw.
Maybe she is just a flirt. Just teasing the guy. Some girls are like that. I would find it hard to believe she would accept a marriage proposal from you while cheating was going on.
But it's important to talk it out. Just let her know that it makes you feel unomfortable even if it's just talk.
2007-11-13 14:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by jtbrick1208 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she could be having an imaginary affair, really. i have one going on, for the right or wrong, with one of my ex lovers. we haven't seen each other in person in about 5 years, but we email and txt each other with really sexual stuff.
that's a form of emotional cheating, but it could be what's going on.
you didn't give details about conversation, besides that it was sexual and contained pictures. my conversations contain pictures too.
so, i'd give her the chance to come clean, and express how you are sorry for having gone through her phone, but that this is what you found, and you need her to be honest in light of your engagement.
if necessary, or if you think she's lying, ask for the ring back and break the engagement. if she's not trustworthy during your engagement, then she won't be in marriage.
2007-11-13 15:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Loon-A-TiK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is aweful and yes it is cheating. Ask her if she is hiding anything from to u but dont let her know that you have read the messages. If she doesnot confess, leave her. U dont want to live ur life with a cheater and liar. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Its hard to leave i know, but if u think u really love her, give her a second chance but i dont think it will change her at all. she will cheat again.
2007-11-13 15:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Niel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is called inappropriate relationship with the dude. Say to her, you were looking for your brother in law's number on her phone and you came across the text msg. Ask her what up with it.
2007-11-13 15:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That certainly sounds as if something inappropriate is going on. You need to find the good in the fact that you found out before you married her, move on.
2007-11-13 14:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is cheating...
Small problem, however, unless she told you that you could use the address book in her phone, to admit you know would be admitting that you were snooping.
Besides, unless your (soon to be) brother-in-law texted his phone number to his sister - and why would he, when he could have simply told it to her... You having discovered the info means you were looking where you shouldn't have been looking.
As for what to say...that's up to you.
2007-11-13 15:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go through the other persons phone you should always first mention why. After that give them a chance to confess... If they don't bring it up calmly it could be a misunderstanding. But if it isnt you have the right to have your fiance COMPLETELY faithful to you!
2007-11-13 14:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by fairyhostage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋