I have a 6 month old baby girl,me and my boyfriend dont smoke.Both of our parents do,and with the hoilays coming they all want us to come to there house,but they smoke in there house.They say thata they will not smoke in the house while we are there ,but i'm still not comfortable taking my baby some one smokes in.Am i being to peronoid?
2007-11-13 06:47:25 · 21 answers · asked by southernmommy22 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Wow, this is a VERY interesting question. I'm in the Etiquette Section quite a bit--and I must say you asked a very interesting question.
Well, I"m a Teacher, but I do not have any children of my own. However, I do have a great mother--so I will give the advise she once have another Mom she knows: "Always Trust Your Motherly Instinct"...My mom says that every mother has a Motherly Instinct, and you should always listen to it, especially when you feel your children might be in danger.
You know that your Parents smoke, and you know how much they smoke. So, even though they say they wont smoke in the home, smokers always seem to not be able to resist the urge. How would you feel if you were in the kitchen with your baby, and all the sudden you smell smoke coming from the living room? Your Parents might think that smoking in "another room" is not the same as smoking in front of the baby..So, if you feel that you would blow up and get very angry, to the point where you whole Thanksgiving is ruined, then dont go...Just cook at your home.
2007-11-13 11:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hmm I understand your situation. You need to hold your head up high and firmly tell her that you do not want to be in a dituation where your daughter could have harm done to her. Address to her that smoking weed is not allowed around your daughter and if she drinks one dip of alcohol then she is not allowed. Address that if you feel like she isn't trying to compromise with your wishes, then she will not have the baby over there at her house. But that she can see the baby at yours. Tell her that you are the parent and she should ask- not tell you- if she can have the baby for the night. Tell her that you appreciate all she's doing for you and your family. But you don't appreciate how rude she is towered you. It's sad that most people are like this to young parents. or any new parent in general.. But reminding her that she was once a new parent might help her in understanding you. No one is born ready to be a parent. There are good and bad days. These days you get through them but with people like her around- it's something you need to address her with and tell her that you will not take this anymore.
2016-05-22 23:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being parnoid, you are being health conscious parents. While the whole world may not live within the guidelines of good health, you still can!
Gently share the thought that the baby is new and, like all babies, sensitive to smoke and germs. Since the baby is so susceptible to germs, noise and smoke it was easier to leave the baby out of the "active" spot than to beg everyone to stop smoking or talking loud or getting too close to the baby.
This way it is a soft message that should not offend anyone, but a planted seed that may suggest people to consider smoking less.
You're a hero either way!
2007-11-13 07:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The time spent with the parents will not affect your baby; however insist that there be no smoking at all and ask that the house be aired before you arrive.
In future, surely parents could visit your home understanding it is a smoke free environment.
Like any strong perfume, smoke can trigger allergies or asthma and does stink up a house.
2007-11-13 08:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not being too paranoid. She is your daughter and you have a right and a responsibility to take care of her health.
When my son was a newborn, I had to ask my dad not to smoke in my house. I was scared and he was angry, but I stuck to my guns and asked him to smoke outdoors, and he did it.
Here's an alternative idea. Before the holidays arrive, arrange to have your family come to your house for dessert after the big holiday meal, and ask them to smoke outdoors while they're visiting you. Be polite but firm. Ask an understanding relative to stay with your daughter at your house while you and your boyfriend go to your parents' house for the big meal, or get a babysitter if you have to. This way everyone can see the baby, and the baby won't be exposed to smoke.
Good luck, and remember, stick to your guns!
2007-11-13 07:34:13 · answer #5 · answered by mom of 2 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are very good parents to be concerned. I being a smoker myself do not smoke in my house. If I want to smoke I go outside. Is it an option for them to come to your place? If not and they agree to smoke outside then would it be possible for them to quit smoking in their house a good 24 hours before you arrive there. This way at least it will be more aired out. Perhaps you could spend more time outside verses inside - weather permitting and climate permitting of course. You should also request that any smokers wash their hands thoroughly before handling your baby. This way they won't leave traces of nicotine on the baby. Oh and maybe a air purifier would be a good thing to take along for the day and just set the baby to be in the room where it is placed. Good luck - it will be fine as long as you are firm on your guidelines. Bless you so much for being a great mom!
2007-11-13 07:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by Joy 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I think I would just tell them, I mean don't go out of your way and be mean about it but just say something like right now with the baby we don't take here around smoke(ers) because of the health risks and links to asthma. I am a smoker, and I would much rather my friends told me the truth then beating around the bush about things and causing that uncomfortable atmosphere. Also I could respect that line of reasoning. At the same time though maybe say but we would love to have you guys over some, and I would defiantly respect that, hey its not me just these that. Besides its always a good to have an extra excuse to have friends over.
2007-11-13 06:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by j_new42 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Congratulations on being great parents! Well request your parents to smoke outside the house at least two days before your arrival by this time the house would be OK to take your baby! Maybe you could coax them to start smoking outside the house from now onwards!!!
2007-11-13 08:43:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I were like this after the births of our sons. Anyone who wanted to see them had to come to our home. After a while though, they stopped smoking in their houses (while we were visiting) so that made it alright, I guess. Thankfully we weren't there very long--maybe a few hours for a family dinner/holiday, etc., and at least part of the time we had the boys outside playing/getting fresh air.
2007-11-13 07:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most of my family smokes, and they prefer for people to just tell them outright.
My mother has some friends who never bring their kids to her house, because she smokes inside, and the smoke gets into furniture, curtains, etc.
My sister requires that all smoking be done outside or in the garage away from the kids, so that the house is smoke free for the kids.
2007-11-13 07:03:49 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋