they have 2 children together and i think it's just strange. He assures me that it's normal for them but I don't like being friendly with her. wth right? relationships are hard enough, but knowing she will always be in the picture and that he expects us to all get along, is just random. I'm ok with saying hello and stuff, but it sucks being stranded next to her at whatever event we happen to be at.
On top of that, he seems to get kinda irritated when I mention not wanting to "hangout" with her at those events. Like I'm wierd...?
am i being insecure?
2007-11-13 05:42:47 · 7 answers · asked by cales_042 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BLEH!
man i would hate to be in your shoes.
Is she nice at least? i guess that would just be more aggravating to me....hmmm.
well i think you should say hello and things and leave it at that! it's not your responsibility to make sure he's comfortable or vice versa. It's between them, you feel me?
hopefully, he wants your relationship to just be about you two and the kids as well.
their over, and i don't think any "hanging out" is appropriate. If they talk, it should be ONLY about the kids, nothing else, not relationship drama or work drama or family drama, none of it.
i'd make sure you both were clear on this stuff before you take it any further.
good luck!
2007-11-13 06:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by normajean_81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His ex is always going to be in his life because of the kids. That's just something you need to expect. And if you're going to be around the kids at all, you really should know the ex and at least be on polite terms with even if you're not friends.
I know if I ever split up from a man I had children with, I'd expect to meet any future girlfriends he may have. I wouldn't want my children to be around people I never met before. And I would want him to know any future boyfriends I may have for the same reason.
If you really have a problem being around this woman, I'm afraid you have a choice. You either need to suck it up for the sake of your man and his kids or you need to get out of the relationship and find someone who doesn't have kids.
2007-11-13 13:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, if she has kids with him then u r pretty much going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life. U have to learn how to get along with her and accept the fact that she will be there. Is she nasty to u or something? If not try not to act so nasty. At the same time, your man needs your support with "hanging out" because u r also apart of his kids lives as well as the biological mother of his kids. It's called trying to be a family. My aunts and uncles have kids by different people, and they always deal with each other..some r snotty, but they get along. My grandma and grandaddy had six kids together and got a divorce, but remain friends to this day. Actually, they live a door down from each other (coiencidence tho) and my stepgrandfather has never showed negativety toward him. All of us r all a family. His kid has the last name of my blood grandad because I think she was still with my grandpa at the time. But like I said, all of us r a family. U have to accept it, and live with it, and try to make it work for him, because u r important when it comes to his kids as well. He needs to know u will try despite of how u feel. and eventually, u probably won't even have negative feelings towards this lady. well maybe just a tad if she is disrespectful to u, but if not, u really shouldn't. do it for him. All the hatred is not really even necessary
2007-11-13 13:54:19 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Musically Inclined 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband has 2 daughters from his previous marriage they are adults now. I treated the kids well was polite to their mother but never friendly with her shes a total snake she'd lie and say he wasn't paying child support among other things. Thank God he kept excellent records. I did not attend the girls graduation or any thing of the sort. Its up to you I say respect her but be friends not. Hopefully your man will understand if not.Seek counseling but do not give up to much of yourself to make him happy on this issue if it makes you uncomfortable.
2007-11-13 13:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by chocolatelovely2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of it for the kid's benefit. It is much better for them to see their parents get along and the new people in their parent's life get along. Makes things much better for everyone involved
2007-11-13 13:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by mommacat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would say, that he is trying to make it seem like if you get along with her then he wont have to make excuses for talking to his ex. he probably still has feelings for her. my parents have been divorced for probably 8 years now, and my mom still cries on there aniversary.
2007-11-13 13:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by mingosaysss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If hes got kids then she is something your going to need to learn to get used to. You dont have to buy her flowers or anything, but it wouldnt hurt to get a long.
2007-11-13 13:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋