How can I determine weather my 1st grader really has a problem or the teachers doesn't like him?

Question

Here's the situation, The first week of school the teacher sent a note home that said my son was not on task that day. It's the first couple days of school so it was sort of understandable. The following week a couple of notes came home that said not on task with the other students or incomplete work. Every week he comes home with at least one note about being on task and not doing all of his classwork. But never any behavior issues.
I took him to the doctor and the teacher & I completed the required forms.
I hear several of the parents complaining about her. She's new to our district and taught highschool for the last 20-some years. I spoke with her and she thinks he has ADHD. (but she's not a doctor)
I also talked to his previous kindergarten teacher, she said she never had any problems with him.
I will be meeting with the teacher and principal next wk.
How can I determine weather my 1st grader really has a problem or the teachers doesn't like him?

I've spoken to her several times. His behavior is good he's just "zones out" as she says.
One situation, she called me at 3:25 because he wasn't picked up yet and I said well he has powerhour and stays until 4:10. She made a comment about him being clueless but it really was her fault because the teachers get a list of students who are to go to powerhour after school and another teacher comes and picks them up.

Answer 1

I'd have him tested- you don't have to get meds for him. You can ask for a 504 and have modifications made in the classroom to help him if he has ADHD or ADD. It sounds like ADD to me though. Likewise, biofeedback and play therapy work well with these kids. Meds is not the only answer- these children must learn to grow up and deal with whatever is going on with them. Simply taking meds is not the answer.

I am a teacher. I used to teach middle school biology. I am now teaching kindergarten and have for the last 9 years. I love that as much as I did the sciences.

Why is the meeting not until next week? This needs to be addressed NOW.

Further, it may be that she is the only one who has talked about his issues with paying attention in class. OR, it could be that he is having to sit more now that he is in 1st grade and is not adjusting well to that.

Talk to the teacher now. Get a feel for what is happening.

No, she is not a doctor and cannot diagnose. Yet, we are trained to recognize symptoms as they arise in the children we teach. If you are concerned seek the assistance of your pediatrician.

Important note: what is your child like at home when you have him do his homework? What is he doing? How long does it take him on the average to complete it?
How is he when you ask him to complete a task? Doing a chore? How many reminders does he need to complete this?

I ask because every year I have parents who don't recognize these things and are baffled as you are when it comes to their child and what is happening in class. When I ask these direct questions, it is almost as if a light goes on above their heads. It happens at home too- but mom/dad/grandma is not aware of it until I ask. That is when the connection is made.

Also important to note- no teacher can tell you to have your child medicated. I have a child in my class right now who has ADHD and mom and dad have opted not to treat it as yet. I support them 100%. Why? With modifications made for the child- who was off the wall when school started, he is successful. Likewise, they came in for meetings with me to get a list of things each should do in their homes- and have. Changes have been made there as well and the child is doing much, much better in all areas. Yes, he needs more reminders than your average child. Change sends him flying, but he is a great kid, very bright and I enjoy him immensely. We must provide a solid education for every child no matter what the issue and with or without meds. I work in a very, very rough area and see all sorts of children- from those born addicted to substances, those that have never met their parent/s because one or both is in jail. I will take them all and teach them and they are. For many of mine, school is the only place where there is any consistency- and they need that as well as love to make it work.

Talk to the child's teacher. It sounds like there is a lack of communication there and you need to be up front about what is happening.

Good luck!

Give your son a hug each day and encourage him to make good choices. He needs to know you are behind him 100%- and he needs to hear it.

Answer 2

That depends. Maybe her standards of classroom discipline differs from the other teachers. And for better or worse, it is but her definition of not being on task. This doesn't mean your son's absolutely right and she's wrong, mind you. It's whatever she constitutes as "off-task" as she sees fit. The high school atmosphere she is used to teaching is completely different than a first grade classroom, and it's unreasonable as well as unrealistic to hold such expectations suited for a more mature group upon children(though it's not like high schoolers are always on-task and everyone gets their classwork done either), such as first-graders. This is where false ADHD diagnoses come from, unrealistic expectations beyond a person's developmental capacity in resorting to a quick and easy solution of definition. If there's no behavioral issues, and the fact she's a new teacher and several parents are already uncomfortable with her, then I would say the favor goes towards your son.

Ask the teacher what is it about the boy that makes him not on-task (but be careful on her defense-it be important to see both sides of the issue and deciding which is more reasonable rather than listen entirely to the teacher. You can also learn alot from the teacher's words whether she's just attacking someone's integrity). Is he struggling, or is he talking and who is he talking to around him? Maybe he's doing something else he shouldn't be doing? This isn't a grade-schooler problem, any bright normal person can be distracted or get caught up in it all. Don't forget to consult other parents too, whatever contempt they have against her you would definately want to hear about also. Then talk with the boy, tell him that his teacher and you are concerned about his work not being done-ask whether he doesn't understand, he has too much to do, or distracted, or he's not comfortable with the teacher. Then come up with a solution everyone can work with. Extra help, better management, sit with another group, etc-whatever it may be.

At the most, you could try to sit-in one day to see how the boy's doing.

Keep in mind that anyone can "zone-out". It's otherwise called daydreaming. Or bored out of your mind. Or you don't like the teacher. She should better define and back up what she meant by "zone out".

My long suspicions were confirmed by today's headlines. ADHD in itself isn't so much a 'disorder', it is simply slower mental development. Just like how people naturally develop at different rates-like puberty. Not everyone hits puberty at exactly 9 or 13. Headline here :

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071113/ap_on_he_me/adhd_brain;_ylt=AjLri6laBueNrT52z2PSKI3VJRIF

I do agree people have sunken so low to drugging children for convenience. A few decades back, people all but praised the rowdy ones as rascals and class pests and scamps... Now they're calling them sick. I don't know where their morals stand, but I do know who really are the sick ones.

Answer 3

Get all the parents together and meet w/the teacher and principal together. She needs to be more exact when she says ur child is not on task (what the H does that mean). Not only that, let her know that u don't appreciate her trying to diagnose ur child since she's not a doctor, therapist, or psychologist. Also remind her that these are 1st graders not high schoolers. I would sit in on the class a few times a week if possible to observe to see what's really going on.

Answer 4

A first grader will have trouble remembering a transportation change. That's not him being clueless. If this is her first year teaching elementary school, chances are she just doesn't really understand how things work. I don't think it's a matter of her not liking your son- I think it's a matter of her possibly not getting how first graders work. Will you have the results of the ADHD evaluation before the conference? If so, that will help you know where he really stands. If after the conference you still aren't satisfied with how things are going, speak with the principal privately. She might need some more training on child development. Twenty years teaching high schoolers can certainly get you out of the loop with how to handle youngsters. One of my colleagues is used to teaching 8th graders, and she found it difficult to transition to 3rd grade. I can't imagine the sort of culture shock one would experience going from HS to ES. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well i think you should try something at home, such as a homework assignment or a few simple chores to see if he stays on task, and how he works doing those things. it may not be exactly the same, but you could tell somewhat whethere he is able to stay on task. another issue could be kids distracting him. You should talk to the teacher about your concernes because if it is the teacher, thats wrong and she shouldnt single him out just because she doesnt like him. And it doesnt seem like he has ADHD and she probably couldnt tell you that anyways since she isnt a doctor. Keep your head up!

Answer 6

Have you spoken to the teacher in detail about the problems she is having? It is a great idea to speak with the principal and the teacher. That is a perfect first step. If need be ask to put him in another class. I would not take a diagnoses of ADHD from a teacher.

Answer 7

i've got had a similiar concern interior the previous - communicate over with the instructor, clarify that your toddler did no longer get the paper in question (do no longer blame the sub, yet do no longer enable your son take the blame) yet that throughout the time of all fairness, the instructor ought to the two (A) provide you son a gamble to do the paper or (B) provide him another form of "make up" artwork so he won't ought to take a nil for the duty. in case you provide her a decision, it won't seem such as you're pushing her right into a corner over the concern. Smile plenty, and guard eye touch with the instructor. Be well mannered yet organization. ingredient out that your toddler has sturdy grades in any different case, and which you comprehend the instructor needs to assist your toddler save his sturdy grade ingredient average. sturdy luck!!

Answer 8

It just sounds like she is used to the high school students being able to do work on their own. Maybe she should go back there. I am SOOOOOOOOO sick of teachers diagnosing disorders. Since when did medical school training cross-over to someone becoming a teacher? My niece's teachers kept saying she was ADHD and wanted her drugged. My sister finally had her tested and she was NOT ADHD, She has a mild form of Dyslexia. A far cry from a behavioral disorder! Teachers need to stick to teaching and leave the diagnosing the the doctors. We try to teach kids that drugs are bad, but teachers are trying to force parents into popping them into our kid's bodies!

Answer 9

All the answers before mine are good, I just have to drop in my two cents to say that, besides his kindergarten teacher not having problems with him, AND other parents complaining about her too, the fact that this lady taught high school for the last 20 years until now really jumps out at me.

Answer 10

She might be an incompetent teacher, or she may be the only teacher who's ever dared to say anything. Ask to sit-in on a class some day, find out what's going on.