My boyfriend and I both work, me fulltime and him part time and going to school I don't go to school. We live together in an apartment, both 20. Needless to say, we have to keep our apartment clean somehow! Now, I grew up being made to do the dishes, and I HATE it. I've asked him to do it, and he used to be okay with it, but now he won't anymore. That's really the only thing I ever ask him to do, aside from taking the trash out sometimes. We take turns cooking dinner and things like that. I clean the rest of the place, wipe down counters, clean the litterbox (we have 2 cats), vaccuum, clean the toilet and shower, do the laundry, etc. I'm not trying to make myself out to be a saint here, because I don't do everything every day. Nor do I expect him to. But I think asking him to do the dishes 3-4 times a week isn't asking too much...but he does. He seems to be under the impression he should come home and sit on his computer all night (see details for more information).
2007-11-13 05:12:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's going for a degree in programming, but usually it's nothing to do with school. I understand he needs some "fun" time. But really, is that so much to ask? I'd like fun time too. He feels I'm being too selfish about this by asking him to do the dishes...and I feel bad if I ask him more than once.
P.S. I don't need any answers like "women's place is in the kitchen he shouldn't have to do anything" or any other chauvinistic CRAP so don't bother wasting your breath. I also don't need "You're not married you're living in sin you're going to hell". Thanks!
2007-11-13 05:14:07 · update #1
We didn't move in together right away. We were together for a year before we did. It's been 6 months living together so far.
He wasn't raised to do chores around the house like I was. His mom did EVERYTHING, and never asked for help. My mom asked for "help" with everything lol. Could this have something to do with it as well?
2007-11-13 05:32:54 · update #2
you are being alittle selfish becuase you expect him to the do one very thing you hate, it would be worse if you make your husband do this. in the relationship BOTH of you do the dishes, maybe take turns every other week, i'm sure he hates all the other chores but that doesnt mean he should slap it on you.
i can understand why the house can be a mess when both of you are out of the house, PLUS school, so just quite it down hes got alot on his hands with school
2007-11-13 05:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I was you i would not do the dish and just leave them there i know is sick but when he ask you why you have not done the dish tell him to its a easy as that then he'll release that its not all that fun. Trust me I live with my best friend and he would never do the dish so i stop and just left them there and one day he did them and know there is never more then one dish is are sink
2007-11-13 05:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by brian j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should share the chores, and by the way it sounds, you're already doing your fair share.
When you're taking turns cooking, take turns cleaning up. When he cooks, you clean up; when you cook, he cleans up. Or tell him you'd like to make out a chore list of what days chores get done.
Try this next time: ask him, "Will you please do the dishes? My feet hurt" (or whatever hurts). Make sure you say "will you" and not "can you" -- we know he can; the question is, will he? He should want to help you. If he doesn't, there are some deeper issues than dirty dishes.
2007-11-13 05:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by xK 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he should do the dishes, if you do everything else. Or mostly everything else. That's called sharing. If he balks at this, maybe it's time to look around for someone new.
2007-11-13 05:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by merrybodner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work and school is alot of responsibility but no excuss for not helping around the house... ask him if he would be ok with chooseing something to help out would be to much... then he wont be doing the same thing all the time.. or you can even offer something in return...
2007-11-13 05:18:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He should pull his own weight and do some of the things which needs to be done. It is only fair.
2007-11-13 05:16:29 · answer #6 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the honeymoon is over, isn't it? but yea you should take turns doing the dishes. he who cooks, does the dishes.
2007-11-13 05:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you trying to dictate how we answer your question
well try changing his perception and mind set.
good luck
2007-11-13 05:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by vibe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's why you dont' move in together right away! duh.
2007-11-13 05:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋