I never knew my biological father and just today I met my real father's sister (my aunt), and her daughter (my cousin). I am just shocked at how we met by coincidence. I started thinking about my life and who my real father is and am wondering would my life be happier if my bilogical dad was involved. I always wanted to know who he was and never met him in my life. Was wondering on people's opinions? People who have been through what I"ve been through and do u think my life will change or would have changed if he was in my life?
2007-11-13 05:10:16 · 15 answers · asked by Txgirl23 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well I know that my mom and real father were very young. She left him a long time ago. I figured everyone in life messes up and I know he has children now. I would say he has his reasons for not being there for me, but doesn't mean you can't judge someone I guess?
2007-11-13 05:19:38 · update #1
The only way you are ever going to find out what happened is to meet up with the man and listen to what his side of the story is. Keep in mind that some mothers will only tell you parts of the story, there may be a lot more that you need to know to get the complete picture of what actually happened. Talk to him, his relatives, and anyone else that knew both of your parents when they first had you.
He will never be able to replace the time that was lost, but it's possible that you could have a decent relationship now.
Just try it and see what happens...if he turns out to be a bum, you can always kick him back out of your life but at least you'll know one way or the other.
2007-11-13 06:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by J D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and have never met my Father... I was told he was abusive and wanted nothing to do with me. Until about three years ago, that is all I knew to be the truth. I met my Aunt, Grandmother, Cousins and my long lost half sister (though, not in person). I've gained a lot of insight onto my past from meeting them, one of which is that I grew up on a lot of lies. It truly depends on a persons cercumstances on whether or not this kind of thing will "change" a persons life. I can gaurantee it will effect it in some way.
2007-11-13 06:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by ecbarre 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm adopted, but I've never met my parents.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is to stop wondering what life would have been had he been in your life. The reality is that he wasn't, but now you have the chance to further your relationship with him. You know him now, and now is what matters.
Will your life change? Of course! You just met your biological father! That's life changing indeed--you just found a link to your genetics.
But would have your life changed had he not left? Of course, but it may not have been for the better. You can't live in the past.
2007-11-13 05:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying "that's water under the bridge"? You father not being in your life cannot be retrieved or changed. You need to decide if you want him in your life in the future. It probably wouldn't hurt to meet him and see if there is a connection that you would like to cultivate. If you don't like him than you wouldn't have to continue a relationship. On the other hand, if you do like him and want to get to know him and his family better than you can go that route. Don't waste your time dreaming about what "could have been" because there is no magical time machine to change things so that he sudden appears in your childhood. Your grown up now, approach this as a mature adult. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-11-13 05:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I met my father for the first time when I was 24. I thought it was going to be bliss. It sucked. I went into it with unrealistic expectations. I am glad I met him just so I don't wonder but as for a relationship I am now 43 and have not seen him since I was 25. I at least know I tried and that is enough. I would suggest at least trying to get to know him but don't set yourself up for disappointment by expecting something that is not there.
2007-11-13 05:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by Why ask me? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother and father split up when i was very young. Father disappeared and could not be traced not even for mum to divorce. My mum met someone else and built a relationship with him and i gained a step sister and brother. To me they are not my step family and as far as i am concerned they are my real family. I don't think that your father has to be someone who helped make you. A father is someone who has brought you up as their own child, helped you grow and mature into the person you are.
Anyway after 17 years of not knowing where my "real" father was he telephoned me out of the blue. I have spent time with him. Speak on the phone with him and have been to see him. I have met and spent time with his brother and my cousins. I get on quite well with him. Although he is my biological father i don't think of him as my dad. I'm glad that i have got to know him because i always wondered but to me my dad is the person who brought me up and was always there for me.
If you are comfortable and they are comfortable to have a relationship with you i don't see the problem.
2007-11-13 05:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by Cinderella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether he would have made a difference if he had been in your life previously is irrelevant - he wasn't and that can't be changed.
However, what happens now is up to you. Take it at a pace you are comfortable with, listen to yourself and what you want from this - try not to have unrealistic expectations as it may not work out, or you may not get on.
I have met my birth family after 35 years without them, and it has worked out really well for me, so I wish you all the best.
2007-11-13 05:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your life will change. You need, first, to find out Why your biological father has never been in your life. And go from there.
2007-11-13 05:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your real father is the one that was there for you now, the one that was there for you when you were growing up.
with that said, meeting your biological father may fill in a piece of your life that you may have felt like you were missing.
as far as changing your life, i doubt it will.
2007-11-13 05:14:10 · answer #9 · answered by KJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never knew my father and I know it was for the best, so it all depends on the situation.
2007-11-13 05:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋