Is it possible to get over someone you've been with for 4 years?

Question

I was at work yesterday &I saw a guy I knew.. I always thought he was cute in high school but he was with some girl for about 4 years. He asked for my number &everything so I gave it to him. Him &his girlfriend recently broke up about a week ago &he says that they are just friends now.. I really dont know what to believe.. All I know is that I've had the biggest crush on him since freshman year. I'm a sophomore in college now..

Answer 1

Tread lightly. Sure, he 's ready to date(or rebound), so don't do anything serious just cuz u've been crushing on him for six years. I dont think a guy who was in a long term relationship should be out dating after a week anyway. But then again, it beats staying home and thinking about what might've been. It's fine to have fun with him, and go out, get his mind off it...etc, but remember, sex is fun for guys, they don't tie emotion into it like girls do..so if u guys go that far, just remember, that it doesn't mean he's into u...just means he's into u for the moment. Because he can't be into u while he's piecing his heart back together(even though he may be over her), he still needs to clean up even though the party might've ended a while back. He might tell u he's cleaned up, but u can't do that until u've broken up...and there's too much residual crap to be dealt with to be totally free and clear so another person can enter. Just beware, out of respect for both of u. Good luck

Answer 2

Its definitely possible. I've been in plenty of long term relationships that went sour... I think for some people it may be hard to get over someone that they've been with for that long but at the same time it might not be so hard and heres my reasoning...

A not so long term relationship you might be left wondering what could have been if you were together longer.

When in a long term usually you've played out everything, in a lot of cases many times, and tried to make things work but in the end find that things just aren't going to work and know that it just isn't meant to be

If that makes any sense!! Haha

good luck and give him a chance, something good could come from it and you know that he has long term potential if you two do hit it off!! :-)

Answer 3

Yes it's possible. They may have recently broken up, but they could have been having problems for a long time. That will usually speed up the recovery time for the newly broken up. I left someone after 7 years, but we had been having problems for a couple years. I probably stayed 2 years longer then i really wanted to. It took me no time at all to get over it. As a matter of fact I was dating with in a month of leaving him. Then about three months later I had another boyfriend and we've been together for 4 years now.

Answer 4

You can move on after a relationship of 4 years, but it takes time. The fact that he's asking for your number so quickly is scary. He may think he is ready, but he isn't to date just yet.

After my marriage, the next few months of dates I went on, I expected things to be like we had been involved for years, because that is what I was used to. I would definitely caution you from getting involved with him on any level more than a good friendship NOW. I'm not saying never, but he isn't ready and you will just end up getting hurt.

You also have to take into consideration you have had a crush on him for a very long time. You may not know him the way he really is, but like him for what you think he is. Make sure your images of him are realistic. I can gaurantee you he isn't perfect. It doesn't mean he isn't a good guy, and maybe good for you, but he may not be the person you imagine him to be.

Answer 5

Wow, um I can relate. It depends on your outlook - if you're really into him and arent totally hoping for an everlasting love and just are willing to see what happens go for it but be SO cautious - recent ex girlfriend is like a warning light saying stay away. If they were together that long a week isnt nearly enough for him to be sure its over. You know within yourself whether hes a decent guy who is worth your troubles - and just stay alert - if things start to go down a path where hes playing games get out! On the other hand you could just chalk it up to your crush fantasy from high school and realize hes probably not going to live up to those standards you have for him and stay away from him and get over it with time and space.

Answer 6

Yes and you know why?, Because If you've ever lost a loved one in your lifetime, and you can smile today, then losing a boyfriend or girlfriend is absolutely possible for you to get over. I lost a brother in 1989, another in 1991, my mom six month's later and my dad 11 month's after that, So I have often said that If I can lose all of those people that were a part of me, and you're still walking around, I know I can get over this. Trust me.

Answer 7

I'd be leery if it's only a week since they've broken up. There are too many unresolved issues from that relationship and you don't want to be the rebound relationship. I found after my divorce was final for a couple years, that I was seeking to date men who also had been divorced a couple of years. Time heals all wounds and one week is certainly not enough time. You don't want to get caught up in that triangle.

Answer 8

well be careful and dont let ur self be the rebound girl...focus in on him well u will be able to see what his intensions really are after the course of a few weeks. U will no if they are just friends or lover's trying to get back @ each other.

Answer 9

yes it is very hard, they say that it takes about 1/4 of the time that you were together to fully get over the person, but that doesnt mean that you can't be in a happy and healthy relationship during that time

Answer 10

Its possible but not in the week that they have been broken up. Give it a month, maybe two. And try to get to know him better during that time. but the last thing you should do is push yourself at him this close to his break up, or its just gonna anger him, trust me.