Muslims and Muslimahs-Please answer!?

Question

I prefer the least amongst our Ummah to the Greatest among the Khufar, but I have to know, why do we encourage each other to eat Halal-
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylc=X3oDMTB1a2x0anY5BF9TAzIxMTU1MDA0NDMEc2VjA3BlZXBfZQRzbGsDcQ--?qid=20071110100912AAZaPH8
But we encourage illicit behaviour when it's convenient?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmrMSLy1az4_xEqgBY4M2Qfn7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20071112191946AAkcHCh

I couldn't believe that some Muslims would encourage this Sister to carry on an illicit relationship with an ex-lover WHILE HER HUSBAND IS IN ANOTHER COUNTRY!!!

To me, as I have interpreted Islam, and the mandates and rules of Islam, any inter-sex relationship other than husband and wife, or close familial ties, is illicit. If you want to take "illicit" to mean sexual, well, that's your definition. However, Websters declares trhe definition of illicit as-
illicit
One entry found.

illicit



Main Entry: il·lic·it
Pronunciation: \(ˌ)i(l)-ˈli-sət\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin illicitus, from in- + licitus lawful — more at licit
Date: 1506
: not permitted : unlawful
— il·lic·it·ly adverb
So, her relationship with this man from her past, whether sexual or otherwise, is ILLICIT by definition. My concern is not so much with her choice, but the fact that other Muslims encourage this illicit relationship. If Allah wants her friend to die, by suicide or other means, he will die, with or without her involvement. It is so vain to think that you can intervene in the will of Allah swt. By his will, and his will alone, we

live or die, Muslim as well as Khufar.

Ibrahim, over the phone, or in person, do you think that keeping ANY relationship with someone you have been romantically linked to in the past is appropriate for a married Muslimah? Please E-mail me, Insha'Allah.

How did I broadcast anything? I pasted a link to her question! As Muslims it is our duty to try to correct our brothers and sisters when they ae making bad decisions. I have been saved the consequences of bad decisions by caring brothers who have corrected me when I was wrong, I am only trying to do the same. Actually, if you will notice, I was questioning the Brothers and Sisiters who were giving her untrue counsel on the subject, not actually addressing HER situation, although I hope she will read some of the answers to this question, and pay heed to these brothers and sisters who only have her best interests at heart, Insha'Allah.

Answer 1

I agree with you brother. The only person I have any relationship with is my son but that is because my parents disowned me when I got pregnant. It is haraam from my understanding for men and women to even have friends of the opposite sex not only when they are married but when they are single or widowed as well. Only ALLAH(Subhanna wa ta'ala) knows who is a true Muslim and who isn't but it is our job to remind other Muslimahs and other Muslims of the straight path. I would certainly welcome the advice I received from a brother or sister if I was doing something wrong that I didn't know about before I became a Muslimah. A relationship is built on trust between a man and his wife and if that trust isn't respected then how can the husband feel safe knowing his wife is cheating on him? I personally see talking to men other then your husband as a form of cheating but that is just my opinion. ALLAH(Subhanna wa ta'ala) knows best what is in our hearts. Insha ALLAH this woman will see the error of her ways and apologize to her husband. If the husband can not trust his wife while he is away then how will he provide for her if he is forced to work overseas without her or in his home country even knowing she is talking to men who are not blood related to her? I hope ALLAH(SWT) doesn't find fault with the husband.

Answer 2

First off not a Muslim so ignore everything else if you want, but please give me some education, and I mean that with all my heart. I am very upset about this but if you can possible explain how any of this makes even the smallest amount of sense, then please explain it to me.

I do not so much have an interest in the potato chip question, but the other question about the "illicit behavior" really bothers me. I was expecting to see a question that was something like she was cheating on her husband with an ex-boyfriend. I was completely shock when I found out that she was trying to help her ex when he was contemplating suicide. I understand that your religion says that married women should associate with other men, especially ex-boyfriends, but come on! Whether she knew him or not, the man needed help, she was asked to give it, and she stepped up to the plate. What’s more is that it worked. The guy is going to go seek help.
There are many times that I look at Muslim values and can honestly say that I wish more people would adopt some of those values. But then something like this comes along and I am shocked. Maybe it is because I am a medic and have devoted a part of my life to helping people that I don't know, and that is what makes it impossible for me to wrap my head around what you are teaching here. But I can not honestly believe that a religion, that I am told preaches peace, that I truly believe can be practiced peacefully, would hold so hard and fast to it's rules that it would actually stop someone from saving a life. Regardless of spiritually differences, you truly have got to be joking if you believe that this is an appropriate way to behave.
A few months ago my partner and I worked a car accident of a over turned vehicle in a ditch. The man in the car was a Muslim. His injuries were significant but not life threatening. Me and my other female partner treated and cared for him. When we had eased some of his pain he asked me if my husband liked me doing this type of work. I told him that he worries sometimes but that he is proud of me for helping people. He then said that he was glad I was there and thanked me for helping him.
Now maybe there is some happy medium between being a Muslim and helping people, but not according to this question. So please, if you really believe that the whole world is going to be Muslim one day, you might want keep a few infidels or khufars around. After all accidents will still happen, and someone will have to be firefighters, police officers, and paramedics. If being Muslim means that you can’t help anyone out because it is an “illicit relationship” you will need a few people that actually give a rats @ss about other people.

Answer 3

Brother i don't think talking with a man who was about to kill him can be called illicit.
I do agree however that her husband feeling be more important and having an Algerian husband myself i know exactly where she and he are coming from.
I would not have any such relationship that made my husband so uncomfortable. I am British revert so i know what she is saying when she states it is a strictly platonic relationship like a brother, I understand we where raised differently and having a male who is a friend is not usnusual at all.
But the point is he is not her brother, even though in her heart he may feel like one. That is why in Islam even adopted children keep there own name and dont take that of the adoptive parents. And in Islam men and women are not left alone even old friends because there is always one other person in the room. And we know who that is. This is probably what her husband is concerned about and how he was raised that is not unusual for him to feel that way at all.
It is a struggle for her that i understand but i also understand her husband. I would not want my husband talking on the phone to a woman other than a family member for the same reason.
No one said the true path was an easy one. If her friend was at such a low point in his life he wanted to kill himself, i cannot say that a phone call to talk him out of it was a mistake. She is a Muslim and a sister and i feel great love for her i feel her dilemma but at the end of the day her relationship with her husband comes first, if he is ok with it then it is for them to deicide together how to procced with the matter.

Answer 4

Allah(SWT) forgive us all.. like I answered in this woman's question, that question was a very dangerous question...
This is just one more of the signs of judgment day when the Ummah is ignorant of their deen. When the Ummah starts believing and spreading what is not true. If your a good Muslim and know your deen it is your responsibility to continue to spread the true message of Islam. Those who spread falsities about Islam are committing sins and those will be judged and punished accordingly.

We should never encourage things which are Haraam..
Inshallah we will continue to gain more knowledge...

Also, why would this woman announce issues she is having with her husband to Y/A this is something which is haraam also..What goes on between you and your husband is sacred and if she wanted true answers she would seek counsel at her local masjid with the Imam.

Terry, I could not post again in that question, I wanted to add, I am not bitter, I do recall a few months ago sticking up for you when everyone was attacking you for questions you had posted concerning(interest?), You emailed me and said thanks. People where calling you and fake etc, If you feel it is not for another to say if your a good Muslim or a Muslim then you should not do to others. You may ask why I am not emailing you in private, well because you also had stated in a Question about people emailing you because they have something to hide, which I do not.. I think croweye is mistaken and the question you had posted before said you thought you were a good Muslimah because you follow the 5 pillars and you do not pay attention to other petty details in Islam.
We all need to encourage others to behave as good Muslims rather you people here on Yahoo Answers agree or not, Prophet Mohammed(SAW) has shown us all how to behave.
Like I said Allah forgive us!!!

Answer 5

As salaamu 'alaikym, my friend.

Insha'Allah, from what was written by the individual posing the question regarding her relationship with a man whom she knew many years hence this is not an "illicit" relationship. Such a description would imply sexual misconduct and such is denied by the poser. I do not have any witnesses who are stating otherwise. If you are aware of any such witnesses, please, bring them forth so that this matter might be correctly resolved.

Insha'Allah, by what was written and posted, one does not even know if she talked to the gentleman in person, over the telephone, over the internet, via land mail, etc. If she has not been alone with this man, regardless of how innocecnt any such possible meeting may have been if the same did, in fact actually occur, but has only communicated with him via the means mentioned, there has been no impropriety.

Insha'Allah, of course, she should not physically meet with this man unless she is properly escorted by either her husband or another close male family member, even if such a meeting were to take place in a public place.

Insha'Allah, perhaps our understandings of the English language are very different as I am reading something very differently than you are.

Insha'Allah, unless I have proof that there is something against the teachings and practice of Islam occurring, which I currently do not have, I will not make a judgment nor will I "cast stones" at another as I well know from my own personal experience how it feels to be innocent of any wrong doing in a particular situation and yet to have been judged by others as having been wrong. I leave such judgments, where the facts are obviously in question, to Allah, Subhanna wa Ta'ala, Who alone has the right and the ability to judge such.

Insha'Allah, I remember reading about an event in the life of the Prophet Muhammad (sallaahi 'alaihi wasallaam) and his wife, Aisha (radi Allah anha) when she was thought to have acted or behaved improperly with another man. Insha'Allah, I also remember how the story ended and was resolved.

Insha'Allah, I would have advised the women whom you are asking about to gaurd her behavior and to limit the same to what, in all modesty and underestanding, is correct behavior for a Muslimah in accordance with the teachings of Islam as to when and how she meets or contacts this person so as to not cause any division between herself and her husband as well as to not create scandal which may lead some astray in their thoughts.

Insha'Allah, I do believe that her intentions were good in that she was seeking to help a person in need. Such is seldom the wrong thing to do. She must, however, as a Muslimah, do so in an appropriate manner.

Ma'a salaam.

Answer 6

Ignorance is a bliss, and many are living in that bliss...
It's not for us to straight away jump on that sister attacking her, we as Muslims should explain her in a kind manner, and some did so, alhamdulillah, let's hope she takes their advice. I'm sorry to say, but all who encouraged her to continue her relations with her ex-boyfriend have to start learning this religion from scratch.

When I converted to Islam I had a gorgeous girlfriend, an Armenian girl, and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Soon I broke up with her for the sake of Allah, when I learnt that dating is haram. I don't keep any contact with my ex-girlfriends, nor I know any news from them. I am married now and I would never cheat on my wife. I don't mind marrying another but flirty relationships or friendships with women are a no-no.

I remind all brothers and sisters, and myself, to fear Allah s.w.t.

Answer 7

AssalaamuAlaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakhetu
Astagfirallah, even in the west people can't seem to seperate culture from Religion. Its a shame. Alhumdulillah I chose Islam and made Hijjra.!! AllahuAkbar!!

Answer 8

I am with you and I answered that question with the response that I am sure she did not like to hear. I could not believe it myself and I sure know my husband would dare not tolerate such things. It is said bc I see Muslims who will not eat pork yet they have the most dirty mouths when they speak, odd! Prayer is supposed to soften our hearts and if it does not then thats pretty bad.

Answer 9

i am not saying she should meet up with this man, etc, at all, just expressing my "shockedness" for the answers given:


i am sooo shocked brother, beyond belief!!! at the all of the answers w/ sister terry's question!!!!! i am shocked at how many muslims are questioning other muslims faith...how can you tell her: """You are a Muslimah now (or are you, really?) ""- taken directly from your answer!! she needs help and people are questioning her beliefs??????? as good civilians we shouldnt assume the wrost of people!! why??

as humans we all sin!!! we are far from perfect. soo you would divorce you wife if she made a mistake like terrys'? i am confused...the 99 names of Allah -swt- one of them is a-rahman...your saying you would not be merciful and forgive ( الغفار another name of Allah -swt-) her if she ever made such a mistake??

""................He sees right through your excuses"", WHAT EXCUSES?? are there any witnesses that she ever did anything wrong for her to make excuses??

"" I really don't understand where you're coming from..."" if you dont understand her whole situation, why answer the question???

salaam

Answer 10

Question: Is it permissible for a boy of fifteen years to have a girl friend?
Answer: Friendship with a non-mahram is not allowed.


Question: Is it permissible for a Muslim to have a non-Muslim friend?
Answer: A Muslim is allowed to take non-Muslims for acquaintances and friends, to be sincere towards them and they be sincere towards him, to help one another in fulfilling the needs of this life. Almighty Allãh has said in His noble Book: “Allãh does not forbid you in regard to those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly; surely Allãh loves the doers of justice.” (60:8)

When these kinds of friendship produce good results, it guarantees that the non-Muslim friend, neighbour, or colleague and business partner will know about the values of Islam, and it will bring him closer to this upright religion. The Prophet said to Imam ‘Ali, “If Allãh guides through you a single person from His servants, that is better for you than anything upon which the Sun shines from the East to the West.”


Question: Is it permissible to exchange greetings and gifts with a non-Muslim, if he is a neighbour or a co-worker, etc.?

Answer: If he does not express hatred towards Islam and Muslims in words or actions, there is no problem in doing what is required in friendship like being good and charitable towards him. Almighty Allãh has said, “Allãh does not forbid you in regard to those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly; surely Allãh loves the doers of justice.” [60:8]