I should lose weight, but I resent my guy for agreeing?!?

Question

Heres the deal. Getting back with an ex, and the thing is I am a very pretty woman who is tall and carries her weight well- to a point.

I'm 5'9 and 240 pounds. He is attracted to me but I know my weight affects my health, self-esteem, and his attraction and concern for me. It seems to be a big deal to him because he was once fat(now very fit) and he hated himself for the rejection he experienced at that time. I should add that I do not date someone if I am not happy with them, but that means I don't really date overweight guys for the most part. Flab turns me off. But I am fair and don't date someone I want to change. What should I do about this resentment of being asked to change- asked to not demanded to. I want to feel better about myself and be healthy, but I resent this man for being a guy telling me I'm not what I should be. I agree with his conclusion- I need to lose it- but I can't shake the feeling of hurt and resentment since it seems selfish of him.

Pictures of me, not necessarily flattering:

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e326/Sarahsforgiven/l_2335e107734cbb0d009f2ccf49b30fdf.jpg

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e326/Sarahsforgiven/l_6722fb9aad522361dadafd9109c8fc9c.jpg

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e326/Sarahsforgiven/m_65863e1fd74c29e4b522f2b0a6ca02b4.jpg

Actually he offered his opinion, but here is another picture that might show my weight better-

me on left****

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e326/Sarahsforgiven/l_40323e7015c7213a65896c847e62b1ca.jpg

Answer 1

Well, if you want to lose weight.. Do it for the right reasons- for your self-esteem, health and all that... NOT because of ANY guy. If your ex-beau wants to be supportive by all means let him be supportive and offer guidance. However, I wouldn't hang on his every word/opinion. I mean it would be like you telling him "sorry, honey but, you have a small penis." How do you think he would react? Be true to yourself. I checked out your pictures and you are very, very pretty... Good luck

Answer 2

I've tried many diets and couldn't make anything work. Since having my first child, I've been carrying around an extra 30 pounds. This diet just made sense and showed me that everything I was doing before was wrong and a waste of my time.

The plan was so refreshing and so simple to follow. I did everything plan said and lost 23 pounds in the first three weeks. I'm now starting the diet again to lose 7 more pounds. This plan has changed my life.

Get started today!

Answer 3

First, congrats on deciding to get fit!
You already stated that you wanted to feel better about yourself and be healthy. So you didn't need to ask for a second opinion. Adopt a healthy lifestyle for YOU and don't be bitter about someone else's honest opinion. It may not have been a tactful answer, but you take that chance by asking that type of question.
Stay focused and if your man is supportive of your change then great! Good luck!

Answer 4

My suggestion is that you talk to him about it. Keeping that type of thing bottled up will eventually cause a breakup between you two.

As far as the being over weight thing goes. I suggest a 1600 calorie per day diet. I also recommend (not required) that you find the time to walk at least 1 mile per day. You will be amazed at what that combination of diet and simple exercise will do for you.

P.S. Yes, you are a very pretty woman!

Answer 5

You are a very pretty woman, and I can see what you mean by carrying your weight very well. However, you say that flap turns you off. Get rid off it. You are only going to be more beautiful and also healthier.

In any relationship, do not ask an opinion if you do not want to hear the truth. Anyone can lie. A true friend stays truthful.

Answer 6

wow this is just me and my boyfriend's story :)
i am just like you 5.6 and 230lbs. my boyfriend always tells me that i should lose weight. i've been trying to lose weight for years but it is very difficult. especially when you are emotionally broken. i understand how you feel because i feel the same. it's very natural of you to try to learn what your boyfriend thinks about you but it is also annoying or disappointing if he doesn't tell you that you are the most beautiful person in the world. my boyfriend once told me that i was not beautiful but i was sweet and if i lost the exess weight i would be beautiful as well :) i want to lose weight, too (at least 40 pounds) and i am working on it. i am trying to lose weight not because i want to satisfy him but to show him that i can do it if i only want to. i will make him regret what he told me all this time.

Answer 7

Yes. Once I weighed 240 I went to the fitness center and ate healthy meals then in a month or so I weighed a hundred thirty. Then out of the blue my associates frolicked with me and all these men seem at me like i'm gold. So sure I get treated differently now .

Answer 8

Tell your boyfriend how you feel. Don't keep it bottled up; you will probably feel better if/when you do. Maybe he just said it because he cares about you and your health, not because he thinks you're big. You need to lose weight for yourself, not for him; or else. You are pretty.

Answer 9

Wow,, ok,, everybody get ready to click 'thumbs down' on me.....

You are an overweight woman who does not like flab on guys, but is in turn quite overweight. So, you decide to get back with a guy that worked hard to get into shape, and when he suggests you do too, you get resentful? It sounds like you have some pretty major issues. You are being hypocritical and unreasonable trying to pull this poor fellow into your own personal cluster. Do this poor guy a favor, cut him loose. He sounds like a good guy that really does not deserve what you have to offer.

Answer 10

Stop counting you re not going to be lose weight overnight Just concentrate on diet and exercise