Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? You are the parent not their friend. Let them find a bff at school..Thoughts?
2007-11-13 03:10:28 · 13 answers · asked by lhallums82 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There is a fine line between being open to communication and being your kids best friend
2007-11-13 03:19:46 · update #1
You are right. Parents are not "friends" to their children, but figures of authority. Naturally, there is a way of being authoritative in a nurturing way, and that's where we come in.
2007-11-13 03:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by AV 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not that we want to be 'best friends', but that we want to continue to be a part of your life without being the 'Bad Guy'.
Parents feel left out once their kids reach a certain age and over the years, with different generations, the main problem has always been called a 'generation gap'. A gap that as a parent, we really want to close.
Now that we are the parent, we realize that our own gap was the results of not talking more to our parents who, after we were older, learned that they, too, shared the same good and bad times when they were younger except they weren't raised to share those experience with us, their children.
Who says that parents aren't allowed to share their growing up challenges with their kids who are going through the same thing now?
Kids are always saying that as parents, we don't understand, but we do and if sharing what we went through will help change the generation gap, then why not.
Someday when you have children of your own, you may figure out a better way to relate with your kids, but for now, we are trying to change what we feel was the problem with our parents.
Is that really so bad?
Friends with both my daughters.
AND, yes, some parents are going to far, but we are trying and their are no rules to go by.
2007-11-13 11:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sandie B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they do not know what else to do. Parents have to format a plan. Just like they do at work or in business.
If they have no distinct plan for discipline or rules...they often "cave" and try to coax a child by "being nice." What parents have to realize is that children want boundaries. Didn't you? Children equate absolute freedom with being ignored.My kids often tell me that I can be a pain in the you know what...but they do know I care.
Nice and rules can go together. The only friendly talk should involve the parent telling the child what the guidelines are.
Then it is the parent's job to monitor and follow thru on those rules.
2007-11-13 11:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by wvabella 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree. I strongly believe in open communication, but not a BFF sometimes the lines are crossed and discipline and respect are lost. A child needs an authority figure, who knows when to say no and a mom who can take care of everything and knows it all. :) good luck
2007-11-13 11:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by Sirena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm my kids best friends lol but they are 1 and 2 and a half I'm sure it will change when they are older i want to be there friend but there parent also i want me and my daughter to go shopping and all that stuff but still with the discipline of me being her parent and her knowing she cant get away with murder or walk all over me
2007-11-13 13:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on guys! Of course we are there best frinds, not literally but yaeah we are there friends to a degree. We talk with them, share things with them and love them. These are al qualities that friends share, we want our children to be able to tell us almost if not everything in difficult situations. Dont we, they tell thier friends everything so being thier friendmay help in tough situations! Mothers and Fathers should be a childs bestfriend and first approach with everything!
2007-11-13 11:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know why some parents want this. It is not my job to be friends with my children. It is my job to keep them safe until they are old enough to do it themselves, teach them right from wrong and raise them to be well adjusted people. I want my children to be able to tell me anything, but as a parent who cares about them, not their bff.
2007-11-13 11:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its easier to keep a child happy than to struggle through the hardships of being a good parent.
Its cheaping out on your kids, and its disgusting. I hate it.
2007-11-13 11:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is good to be your child's "best friend" because it opens up a new level of ocommunication between the parent/child. I want my kids to know that they can come to me and talk to me about anything and everything.
2007-11-13 11:15:02 · answer #9 · answered by clbowman06 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes i agree with you in most parts hear but i think that once they are out the house then you can be a friend but while they are still kids/teens then you a parent not a friend i think
2007-11-13 11:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋