I'm 21 and have a wonderful son, I've met someone who I feel I can love and will accept my son, The only thing....I barely have 4wks out of the realtionship. I will like to be serious with this person but at the same time I'm 21 and I feel like i'm now just starting a new life.This new person is 31 yrs he has everything any women would want, a house, a career, great family, the looks, smart, and so on. So do I.....should i give in? or just wait and enjoy life right now???
2007-11-13 03:05:08 · 24 answers · asked by yoanacancino 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, since you have a baby you cannot go too wild! It sounds as if this guy is perfect - just what you need, a solid, dependable figure that you can rely on and that you feel you could fall in love with. Give it time to let the relationship develop a little more (you dont have to marry him tomorrow!!) and just enjoy dating. You might find that in a few months the attraction is gone or you might feel that the time has come to go one step further. Whatever you do, don't use him for what he can offer because you'll end up unhappy again.
2007-11-13 03:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by Hencor72 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Doing what feels good is usually the wrong answer.
Take it slow and give yourself some time. You are 21 and there is allot of time to pick you life time partner. It is really not hard to find someone financially secure if you are looking 10 older than you. There are millions of guys who are financially secure and who will accept your son in their mid 30s. Willing to date a 21 year old. You also never mention any traits that are important. You know charater traits you want, you listed stuff he has. That is no accident.
This is like my son getting a car. he finds a car that he wants and in his mind there is not better car on the planet. To him that is the only car that will due. After a couple weeks of cool down he finds another one and has the same passion. All I am saying is that this sounds like a rebound and there are plenty of other cars even some with lower miles.
It sounds like you are looking for someone to take care of you at the moment because you are vulnerable. This may feel good but the best thing is to take the tough road and take a break and wait on dating for a while. learn who you are as an individual and spend time with the kids who may be having a hard time too.
The guy you left and hate is their dad remember; they love him.
2007-11-13 03:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been really unhappy.. Unhappy for 6 years.. Some of it was your fault, but alot of it was external..The answer to your question really depends.. Is there someone else that can take care of your child(Your parents,Friends, etc)? If yes, then go out and enjoy yourself.. Make something of yourself.. I'm not telling you to run away from the responsibility, but you deserve to have all of the stuff that you didnt have when you were 16-17.. Find out who you are and what you like to do.. No woman needs a man to keep her happy..
I would suggest that you had your own career and your own identity before you got into this relationship.. Most of the times, when a man knows that a girl's life evolves around them, they try to control you.. No matter how good the guy is.. If you have your own money.. your own life.. He wont be able to do anything like that.. So basically, I'm advising you to live your life right now....
2007-11-13 03:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WARNING!: beware the REBOUND syndrome.
I am not much older than you are, I'm 23 and I just got married this September.
I have been in lots of relationships, ranging from a few months, to a few years.
And I can not tell you how many times I rebounded and thought the new guy was everything I ever wanted!
Only to relize some time later I didn't like this guy as much I had thought.
Here is my advice.
Right now, you just got out of a horrible relationship I'm guessing from the title of your question.
Well this new guy is of course going to seem like prince charming, why?
Because he is pretty much everything your ex was not.
He is new, different, he makes laugh, and feel pretty again.
This is all new and great to feel again, but something you must remind yourself of is, all new relationships make you feel this way.
I don't think you should leave this guy, especially if you think he MIGHT be the one, but, you should definitly roll this out nice and slow.
Take your time, and soul search.
Remember to do things for yourself.
The best advice I can give to anyone, is once you find happiness in your life on your own, and learn to love yourself without having a significant other, than true love will find you.
2007-11-13 03:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by kelmor84 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is impossible, but you are at a vulnerable state right now so you need to take it slow. Things are stronger when they are not rushed. Also you have a child so you want to make sure you are with the right person. You dont want to have your son exposed to a different guy every other month. Plus you are young so you should give it time. I know you might get tired of the "young" comments, but I am that age to & trust me you are not alone. But like I said at the time the most important thing you need to think about is your son & yourself.
2007-11-13 03:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by oOrbyluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"he has everything any women would want, a house, a career, great family, the looks, smart, and so on."
What are you thinking, what are you in love with him or what he can offer. Were is the love, devotion, and great compainship. Without those being number one. Its just a matirial relationship and domed to fail. Evaluate some of the love factors. Then ask the question.
2007-11-13 03:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by vicwhit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should enjoy life right now, do what you want to do. And your son probably needs you right now. I am 22 and have a 5 yr old daughter. I finally found the man of my dreams, but it took some time and patience. I am stronger now than i ever thought I was before.
2007-11-13 03:09:09 · answer #7 · answered by loving life!!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to this one! Enjoy life right now. Don't make any major changes for AT LEAST six months, a year to be safe. You don't want to end up in a bigger mess so just enjoy things and get to know each other. Best of luck to you!
2007-11-13 03:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by radman2035 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of your son, if nothing else, don't jump in @ss over tea kettle. Take some time and get to know this person. Sort out your feelings from your last relationship first.
2007-11-13 03:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow, It may be a reaction to the bad times you had with your former husband. Let the healing process complete before you jump into another relation. Get to know him but dont rush into it. Take care
2007-11-13 03:23:02 · answer #10 · answered by Michael C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋