I love my parents. But they are relying upon me too much.
I still live with my parents. I am 32 years old. I have been sick for a long time. I have suffered from OCD all of my life. But in the past year or so, I have gotten well enough to start working. Before, I couldn't even hold down a job.
My step dad is a nice guy. He is thoughtful. But he is not going to work many days. He stays home because he is "sick." He is depressed. He has dealt with many deaths in his family. He is basically all that is left. He has a sister, but she is not close to him. She seems to be avoiding him.
My Mom is sick. She is disabled. She is capable of working part time, but she keeps staying at home and sleeping. Our kitchen is dirty- borderline filthy. I try so hard to keep the kitchen clean, but my parents don't do a lot in terms of cleaning the kitchen/house.
We have had a lot of financial problems lately. I keep having to loan them money- many many thousands of dollars. What can I do?
2007-11-13 02:51:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents keep relying upon me to pay for everything. I have to buy our groceries. But I only make 6.50 an hour, and I work part time. My health insurance is 450 dollars per month! I am engaged to be married in May of 2008- but I don't have any money saved for the marriage. Where are we going to live?
My parents just keep feeling sorry for themselves, and sleep late at home. I am the only one working. My step dad has had problems at his job with people being disrespectful towards him. But he keeps missing so many days, that I think he is going to be fired.
What should I do? What can I tell my parents to make them "snap out of it?" Is this really fair to me?
Why are they relying so heavily upon me to bail them out? I have never been that responsible a person in my life, IMO.
How can we make some positive changes, and make our lives better? I am extremely frustrated and angry. Please help.
2007-11-13 02:54:43 · update #1
Sounds like you all are in a pretty tough situation. If your parents are feeling like they can rely on you, maybe it's because they have taken care of you longer than parents should have to. Having to take care of a child his hard enough, but having to take care of one who is sick and for so many years can run you down. Your parents both need counseling, but if they refuse to go then, there really isn't anything you can do. If you are going to get married, you need to go look for a job that makes more than what you are making, you can hardly support your self on that, much less a wife and later on a family. Think about your life first, your parents will take care of themselves.
2007-11-13 03:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 32, still living at home and apparently believe that your medical conditions excuse you from being an adult but not your parents.
Until you take action to live like an adult your parents are going to rely on you. The only answer is for you to move out. How are you going to support anyone on 6.50 an hour? Marriage seems rather irresponsible at this point in your life.
I'm sure you have a counselor, I would look to them for the support and the answer to separating yourself from your folks. Oh and learn to say no, don't give them any more money. You are enabling their behavior.
The kitchen cannot be filthy if you are cleaning it. If you don't choose to live like this then you need to either move or clean it yourself.
I do realize that this is difficult for you, but you need to understand that the rest of the world isn't going to protect you from your conditions, you have to do that.
2007-11-13 11:53:02 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like u need to try to get out of there and get a place of ur own. Have u tried talking to them anout this...how ur feeling and the fact that u cannot afford to support them with ur income. tell them u are trying to make arrangements for a wedding and u can't even save enough money to even have a small wedding because they are relying on u too much financially. U really need to talk to them about this. Good Luck.
2007-11-13 10:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie311 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out for Gods Sake your 32 years old! Maybe then they will see that they have to take care of themselves or face health department problems. If they are unfit to take care of themselves then find a service who can assist them or an assisted living facility for them to move into. After all pal your 32, the clock is ticking and you are probably sick from living in unhealthy conditions. Don't waste time it goes by way to fast and guess what there is no turning back the clock. Believe me. Best of wishes to you on your upcoming marriage, finding a better paying job, and having your own place you can go home to in order to appreciate all of the above. You can do it!!!
2007-11-13 11:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Set a date. Tell them you are moving out on this set date and that you will be unable to support them anymore. They can either go on welfare or they will have to find jobs to support themselves. I suffer from OCD and suffered from depression for years and that never stopped me from having a job, going to college, getting married, buying a house or having a family.
You're going to have to put your foot down and it won't be fun. It's going to be hard at first but if you don't they are going to beat you down.
2007-11-13 10:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by Due March 9th, 2010 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only way they are going to stop relying on you is if you move out.. as long as you stay they will rely on you...
2007-11-13 11:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by MandB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just pray.. God hears ur prayers! theres nothing imposible
2007-11-13 11:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋