My neice is 19. She has a 9 month old son and is 6 months pregnant. She is having some complications with this pregnancy.. The Dr told her she would not be able to work for the rest of her pregnancy, so she quit her part time job. She has to go to the Dr. 2-3 times a week so they can monitor her baby. I am a stay at home mom of 4. I offered to watch my 9 month old nephew while she has Dr. appointments to try to help out. She wants me to watch her from 8:00 to 5:30 on the days she has appointments. I agreed to watch him that long for $20 dollars a day. She lives at home and has the support of our entire family, but now everyone is turning on me. They think I should keep the baby for free. Am I being unfair? I feel I'm being taken advantage of because I don't work outside the home. HELP
2007-11-13 02:39:32 · 10 answers · asked by lovemyittybitty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It doesnt take from 8-5:30 to go to the doctor...so yeah i would make her pay...
lol...there is nothing wrong with charging her 20$..shes getting a SUPER discount compared to daycare prices....
if she can back in resonable time...(like as soon as doc. appt. was over)...yeah maybe for free...but 9 hours!!...come on!...your not gunna be her free baby sitter so she can go run the roads and do what shes been doing to get herself in the situation shes in!!
not just that but its showing her that everything isnt just handed to you and most nothing is free...
shes learning responsibility...she made her bed...now she must lay in it...
tell your family if they think it should be done for free then they can do it themselves...and if not...then poopey damn doo!! :P
2007-11-13 02:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by Amber R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you can see from the answers so far, be reassured that you are in no way being unreasonable. Now, how do you deal with the family in order to keep the peace? First, you could try to convince them that you are not being unfair. This could be difficult. Do they understand that the neice is asking for your help for 9.5 hours!? Is there any one person in your family or a family friend who is on your side? It would be good to have one advocate to help convince those family members that think you are being unfair that you are not.
How old are your kids? If you have 3 under 2, then you can point out that if you had a licenced daycare, you wouldn't be allowed to watch a 9 month old (at least in my state). Maybe that could enlighten them to how difficult it is to care for so many kids...
Finally, you could try some creative compromising. Others have suggested that you watch the boy for only a few hours. You could also try to barter. Maybe your niece or some other family members could give you some items you need...or you could make a deal that other family members should pitch in and make dinner for your family on the day you watch him-they could be premade/frozen meals. Finally, your niece could "IOU" childcare hours...
I don't know how useful this brainstorming is because the hardest thing you'll have to do is talk to them civilly. Good luck!
2007-11-13 14:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by piontkofsky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO, They are the ones who are being unfair. I am a mother of two and I know how hard that can be, I could only imagine having four. I'm sure it is a lot of work for you as it is and you offered to take her baby on the days which she has appointments. As far as I'm concerned that was really good of you. I have never heard of an appointment that took from 8:00 to 5:00. To me it looks like she is testing you just to see how much she can get out of you. If you agree to watch you nephew that long without charge you can bet that she/they will only continue throwing more unfair demands at you. my advice is to stand your ground and trust your instincts. If you feel that you are being taken advantage of then you probably are. You don't need to answer to anybody, Just worry about your own children and never mind them if that is the way that they are going to be.
2007-11-13 10:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by enslaved79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 19 years old as is having her second child. She's made her decisions of bringing life into this world, and hopefully is not complaining about 20 measly dollars each day her child her taken well care of by a family member. She doesn't have to worry about her child being abused or neglected by a stranger in day care, and is receiving a huge discount in day care cost. Sounds like the people who are complaining about your agreement with your niece are protecting her from being an adult. This is the real world...high gas prices, rising food/utility/insurance costs in a declining housing market......she doesn't need to be protected from this. And where is the father of these children. Can he watch the child and help with her appointments, or pay the $20?
Don't listen to these family members. Continue w/your agreement and if your neice has a problem, she can find someone else to watch her kid for free.
2007-11-13 11:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by cure_eeh_us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know shes family and all but u offered to do this out of the kindness of ur heart....it's only 20 dollars which i think is extremely reasonable for and 8+ hour day, especially considering u have 4 children of ur own to raise. You are definitely not being unfair...besides does it really take that long for dr's appts? maybe if you cut that time in half then u could do it for free and everyone would be happy....it almost sounds like she's trying to take advantage of you.
2007-11-13 10:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by Pixie311 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is quite unreasonable. You are not required to do anything what-so-ever. It was nice to offer to watch her son so that she can go to the appointment, but you are NOT running a day-care and you already have your hands-full with your own 4 kids.
I wouldn't even offer 20 dollars... I'll just tell her watching for few hours is all you can handle.
Then, to everyone who is against you, tell them, "then YOU do it...." and see what their reactions are. I'm sure they will come up with reasons why they can't be part of the 'solution.'
I think, a mistake you made was to offer the service for money. That showed you were capable of doing the job. It would have been different, if you flat out refused to do it for other than few hours twice a week.
2007-11-13 10:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she's riding the gravy train. she only needs a half a day max for the dr. appts. if she wants to bring her butt back in 4 hrs, do it for free but if she needs an extension, charge her. she made her bed, she needs to lie in it. find somebody else if she doesn't like it.
2007-11-13 10:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by jade4e83 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's only $2.10 hour. Give her some prices of a daycare in your area. I bet she'll change her tune real quick.
2007-11-13 14:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother with her, if she can't take care of her own children, don't bother at all. And if your going to do her own work, I'd do it for money too, your not being unfair, you just know what's right.
2007-11-13 10:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
ohh well thats life just go seperate ways.. so theres no prob
2007-11-13 10:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋