I was in a relationship which my ex bf controls me.. a long distanced relationship.He wanted me to promise him not to talk or look at any guys, dress decently ( no short skirts, no tight shirts, no sleeves with big holes), & not to swim or play basketball. He said he was worried about me and he didnt want other guys to look at me.He even told me to dress as ugly as possible. He told me to wait for him and he'll be back to marry me.I did all that for him but in between i broke few promises. We quarelled but eventually we got over it. Then, we broke up when I only complained that he has no time for me. The reasons are I don't understand him, his family will never accept me for my character. What did I do wrong? I did all that he said & report whatever I do through sms every minute of my life. I cried for a year and now he has a gf but why did he contact me & still flirts with me? He makes me feel bad about myself when he ignores me or put me down.I still love him. Should I stay or leave?
2007-11-13 02:28:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
move on. Relationships are built on trust and he does not have any trust in you. If you think he is bad now, just thing if you were to marry him. This can not be a good mix. He has to have enough trust in you. GOOD LUCK!!
dd
2007-11-13 02:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh my god, what r u doing to yourself, why are you letting someone who does not even live close to you dictate how u live, do you honestly for one second think he was faithful to you, while you were out here trying to not break any of his ridiculous rules he was out there acting a fool. No man who truly loves you, will ask or expect so much from someone unless they are trying to be controlling, which clearly he was. He keeps flirting with you so he can have a hold on you, so that every time he comes around this part of the woods, he knows he has a sure thing, he is using you, and you are letting him, you mentioned he has a girlfriend, how is that possible with all these rules in place, do u mean to tell me, he had no rules to follow, let him go, cry about it, talk about it, then get over it, You sound like your young, so u have you're whole life ahead of you, and trust me this will not be the only heartbreak, use this as a lesson, and move on. Good Luck!!!!!
P.S. U did nothing wrong, like they say, "Is better to have love and lost, then to never have loved at all", Its time to let it go!!
2007-11-13 10:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by ana c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good heavens, the guy is a control freak ........ why waste your life in a dead end relationship when the world is full of guys that would line up around the block to be with you. He has been inside your head for long enough, dry your tears, do not accept any further contact with the guy, and get on with your life. Hang out with your girl friends, maybe a double date would be nice. Meet somebody new, smile, be happy and in doing so you squash all the misery that your ex represented and you win.
2007-11-13 10:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's simple. He likes to control you. He likes the power he has over you. You're an easy target because you allow him to be this way with you. Just stop talking to him altogether - you aren't getting anything out of this crappy relationship. You are only hurt and feeling sorry for yourself and losing any sense of pride you may have had. He kept you feeling like crap until he found someone to take your place so now in order to keep you hanging on - he's nice to you while he has someone and knows you can't have him. So do yourself a favor and don't talk to him, write to him, text him - nothing. Pretend he never exsisted - seriously - he's a waste of space. There is someone else that would never allow you to have this empty feeling you have right now. Go out and find him.
2007-11-13 10:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
leave.
You did nothing wrong. This relationship was just not meant to be. When it works out, it will work out, and then it will be the one.
And for what it is worth, any guy who will try to control what you do, what you say, and what you wear is not someone you want to be with. Those are all signs that the guy will become an abusive person.
He is contacting you and flirting with you for more control. It makes him feel good about himself knowing he has the power over you. DO NOT LET HIM HAVE IT!
2007-11-13 10:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Connie S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Run away from this relationship NOW! You did nothing wrong. Be your own person and find someone who loves you as you are. Better to be alone for awhile, rather than be with the wrong person. You will have a lifetime to reflect on the wonderful things you did for yourself. Don't have a life that you depend on someone else to bring all your happiness.
2007-11-13 10:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by HiddenBarb 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave, leave and then leave. While it's easier in relationships to be the subservient one, he sounds like a controlling psychopath. You didn't do anything wrong and this is the kind of stuff that leads to spousal abuse and all that other bull****.
"He'll be back to marry me"? THOR WANT WIFE. This guy's a clown. Do yourself a favor.
2007-11-13 10:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by emma 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE
He is terrible, I don't know why you agreed to that stuff any way if a guy wants to check you that is what they will do regardless of what you where. You need to get over the jerk and find some one worth your time.
2007-11-13 10:37:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said he has a girlfriend now? I wouldn't want to be with someone that left me and was with some one else. I know how you feel and I think you need to be stronger because you definitely deserve better.
2007-11-13 10:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by KungFu Ninja 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wao. U should leave and after all that u did for your bf, i feel really sorry for you. Just leave. Find a good one.
2007-11-13 10:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by Niel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋