My best friend is 13. Her sister is 16 and has a few month old baby. She (her sister) hits my friend and takes her phone and internet as if she was her mother.
Last night the older sister told my friend to take care of her baby while she washes the bottles and my friend told her she couldn't cause she was doing homework and her sister took her phone away. My friend opened the door to get her phone back and her sister grabbed her by the neck and held her up against the wall, choking her. Later on my friend slept in her moms room cause she was scared to sleep upstairs. Her mom came home at 5 am and when she told her, she didn't do anything. She just said ok. They don't even have food in their house. When she comes to my house she basically eats half of my fridge.
She doesn't want to make her moms life harder but something has to be done. What can be done?
2007-11-13 02:24:30 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OMG! How horrifying! If she is abusive to her sister, what will she do to that baby!? This is the kind of person who has no business being a parent. You're right, something needs to be done about it. I cannot believe your friend's mother is just sitting back and not doing anything about it! Call child protective services. They will investigate. In the meantime, be as supportive as possilbe to your friend.
2007-11-13 02:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by ticktock 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your specific question is that no, her sister can't go to Juvi, nor will her mom go to jail. That doesn't mean it's ok, and you're right to be upset. Talking to a trusted teacher, counselor or social worker at school is the best thing you can do (talking to your own parents can help, too).
Teachers are required by law to report information like this to the proper authorities. Sadly, most teachers have had to deal with this kind of problem before, but the good news is that they can help. Teachers, school nurses, counselors, administrators and social workers can all be people to tell. If a week goes by and nothing happens, find another person to tell, and keep telling until your friend gets help.
Help might also be making sure your friend gets a free lunch at school and/or breakfast.
If your friend is embarrassed, you can offer to go with her while she talks to her favorite teacher - and if it's not a teacher you have this year (if it's a second grade teacher, for example) that's ok, too. Find someone she trusts and tell them what's going on.
You're being a good friend. Be kind, support her, and let her know you care and love her. Sometimes just knowing she have a friend means more that you can know. Good luck.
2007-11-13 10:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by LizzyJo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to call child protection agency. It sounds as if the older sister is being left to take care of the younger sister, but she is being abused by her, and the mom is supposed to provide a safe home for the both of them, and food, but she is not. After being investigated, the mother has to improve whatever is wrong in the home or the girls can be removed from her care. It may be a wakeup call. Where is the mom until 5 a.m. in the morning? Is she working or out doing her thing? And if this is a cell phone that is being taken, why is the mother able to afford cell phones but no food. This is bad parenting.
2007-11-13 10:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try telling your mom or dad about this situation, and see what advice they can give you on the matter. They might be able to help you do something for this girl. I think that child services can be called, but that will mean that either the mother will just get a warning and a slap on the wrist, or that means that the mother will have her children taken away from her, including her 16 year old daughter... who is STILL under the age. No one should be getting abused in a family situation, and the 16 year old CAN get in trouble... good luck, and although you probably care very much about your friend, keep your distance, for your own safety.
2007-11-13 10:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Karen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact child protective services and do it today. If the 16 yo treats her younger sister like that what is she doing to a baby that can't talk or defend itself. Also the issue of no food---do they get food stamps and if so, where are they going. There are programs out there to help with food too.
It will be very hard to report because your friend may be taken away from her family and you. But what is better to help your friend now or go to her funeral in the near future. She won't be happy with you at first but if she is truly in danger, she will thank you later. These reports can also be made anonymously. Please have someone call, this girl is crying out for some help.
2007-11-13 10:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by tmahurin22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a lawyer, but i do have a degree in criminal justice, including classes in juvenile justice.
First, she's lucky to have a friend like you who is concerned for her, and a fridge for her to eat from!!!
If your friend goes to the police there is a possibility of criminal proceedings.
If you're concerned about your friend first, talk to your parent(s). Then you can talk to child protective services... there will be an investigation and depending on what's needed (counseling, food stamps, etc) and what resources they qualify for, then they could get the family some help OR in the unlikely extreme, they could take the children from the home. You may also want to talk to a counselor at school. They may be able to talk to her and help her with this, too.
Whatever you decide, be there for your friend. It's hard to decide when to get involved... so good luck.
2007-11-13 10:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your best friend should file assault charges on her sister. Mom is tired and really doesn't want to be bothered. That baby is your friend's sister responsibility not your friend. This cannot go on because someone is going to get seriously hurt. If this person has such a violent temper I would fear for the baby. Your friend should get help for herself and more important the baby. Mom could go to jail for allowing this type of violent behavior depending what the laws are in your state.
2007-11-13 10:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by deb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a friend you need to contact Department of Human Resource and report this family. Your friend is undergoing severe abuse from older sister, and mom refuses to do anything about it, If there is no food in the house they are also going to be nutritionally in bad shape
good luck
2007-11-13 11:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by maxine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the Department of Child Protective Services. Immediately.
2007-11-13 10:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by 0 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your parents about it. Most of the time people try not to get involved in cases like this because they feel like it's not any of their business but it is also your friends mothers job to protect her and make her feel safe in her own home even if it's her own family she is protecting her from. If you are sure it is really that bad and not just your friend making more of it then what it is (I'm not saying she is)then talk to your parents and get their input and maybe if they think something needs to be checked out they can call social services to investigate.....Good Luck
2007-11-13 10:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by ryeeeeit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋