I have a boy friend that I have been with for six months. He is my first boyfriend he gave me my first kiss, took me on my first date, and he is really sweet.
1) There has been a rumor that he is gay, but I have been looking and have not seen it at all. People have said that they saw a video of him sucking dick.
2) Yesterday I told him what my mother really thinks about him and he is pissed AT ME. My mother told me that the only reason that she let me go with him is because I "wouldn't have to give up anything" because she said he is gay. I told him that I love him and don't think that he is gay but he does not listen.
3) Also yesterday he got a belly ring. Which i am okay with.
4) He has come around me with hickeys and lied a bout them.
Should I dump him and forget the relationship or should I try to bring it back from the dead.
2007-11-13 01:27:45 · 39 answers · asked by Ariella333 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow wow wow. well this is a tough one! ok first off, if you really love him then you will do whatever it takes to keep this realationship going! Instead of loosing him becasue of silly high school rumors, think about the trust , love, and time you two have spent together! are you really ready to give that all up. As for you telling him what you mother really thinks, that may have not been a good idea! Guys think that if a girls mother dislikes him, then eventually they will come around and take sides with their mother! But anyways, its time to put your trust to the test! if you really love and care about him, and trust him, then if he says that he is not gay than that should be the determining factor for you! The best answer for this question isnt an answer, its advise for you to make a wise decision. Just think about this.................Nothing is worth fighting for until its lost! (i really hope that i was of assistance to you! e-mail me if you want further guidence)
2007-11-13 01:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by David aka Theblackprep 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not even know if he's gay or not yet...you guys are young if it's your first kiss I'm guessing. The way he flipped cuz your mom thinks he is gay makes me wonder if he's not trying to prove he's straight or something to himself, maybe he's really mad at himself for not giving off a different image and acting mad at everyone else (like you who did nothing but tell him what mom said)?
I wouldn't believe rumors without some proof-I remember the guys they tried to call gay when I was in school and I don't think any actually were or became gay. Ask to see the video or refuse to believe it's proof of anything except other people's stupidity. If you love him like you say, then just as his friend you should dismiss what other say with no real proof of anything.
The thing you should be concerned most over is the hickeys which is cheating and lying about them as you said yourself (Did he tell you he got em from a vaccum cleaner? Hickeys are pretty disinctive and are just that 99.9% of the time so I have no clue what he could've said that you didn't break up with him then!) That's enough reason to dump him before it's more than just hickeys. And would you want to get intimate with someone you don't trust to tell the truth? Would he tell you if he was gay? Would you still want to be with him if he was trying to figure it out?
What should you do? Tell him you want nothing to do with him as long as he's lying to you. It has nothing to do with people thinking he's gay and be sure to tell him that, it's because he's a cheat and a liar!
2007-11-13 01:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Skittychic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mmm this is a tough one.
If your man has homosexual tendencies it seems that they are still in a fledgling state, as is his exploration of a heterosexual relationship.
It seems that the first person he can't be honest with is himself and secondly he can't be honest with you. Pierced belly buttons are one thing, but love bites (assumed from hickeys) are something else. What comes across clearly, is that you like this person, he's treated you kindly (from your first para) and apart from the love-bites you have no personal reason to doubt him. However friends and your own mother have expressed concern about his sexuality which (if true) may cause you to be seriously hurt later if you tried to maintain the relationship.
If you truly care about him, a best friend would help him be himself. If he his gay (and if he is, he doesn't yet know it) he will need help and support. It may be that offering to be 'just frends' right now, might be the least painful way forward.
Good Luck
2007-11-13 01:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Teable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask him point blank if he is gay. Tell him that you need to know one way or the other or the "relationship" is off because you don't want to take a chance with falling in love with him and then finding out later that he isn't able to fall in love with you because of your gender. Tell him that if he admits he is gay, you could salvage the relationship as friends at least. If you spell it out to him in no uncertain terms, he may be relieved to have it out in the open, especially if he knows he won't lose you as a friend. You cannot "resurrect" a heterosexual preference from that of a homosexual. Don't even try. You will be the loser in the end.
However, if he adamantly says he is not gay, and you believe him, then you have to make up your mind if the rumors and hickeys bother you enough to dump him. Some clues: If you are uncomfortable being in public with him; If you find yourself being defensive and somewhat estranged from your friends and family because of him; If you can admit that he's not really that important in your life; If you are sick and tired of the tension he's bringing into your life, especially if it is affecting your sleep, activities, social life; If you can picture yourself with someone else just as easily as being with him. Rate his importance to you on a scale of 1 - 10, ten being can't live without him, one being of little importance. Anything less than a 5, find someone else.
2007-11-13 01:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him because as I can "see" from what you've typed, he easily gets angry at you for simple reasons. Which is a bad thing. Did you ever ask to see the video 'they' talk about? belly ring? er...anyway, your mom's right. But then noone has proved it, you asked him, he didn't answer.
For short, because the first part was confusing, dump him. There's no use working for a relationship if the other party doesn't.And if he's straight, then he's just like every other man. Once they get what they want, they'll have no use for you and it will be okay to lose you. As they say, " There are plenty of fishes in the sea of all kinds and sizes, I got plenty to choose from."
2007-11-13 01:36:41 · answer #5 · answered by miakimiharu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first relationship is to learn from, not to spend the rest of your life in. Move on. He has or else he wouldn't be showing up with hickeys. Maybe you guys can stay friends and just be shopping buddies, trade fashion tips etc... Gay guys make great friends.
2007-11-13 01:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you were not a good girl friend by telling him what others think of him. Your are suposed to love him and not indulge yourself with others thoughts they'll confuse you and make your relationship hard to deal with. You must apologize about the situation and explain calmly not emotionnal leave a phone message and after you say your apology at the end say, I am giving you 3 days to get me back if you don't the relationship is over.
that does the following.
1.)gives him a chance to think it over with a limited time of course
2.)If he deletes it then it is his on selfishiness and he no longer wish to be with you.
3.) incase of him denying he ever had a message have a friend wittness that you are leaving a message.
best of luck
2007-11-13 01:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4) He has come around me with hickeys and lied a bout them.
What kind of lie could you make up for that!!
You've kind of answered your own question - bring it back from the dead - you must already believe it's run its course and is dead. My advice - for what it's worth - forget it and get on with your life.
2007-11-13 01:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
200+50
2016-05-22 22:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What constitutes him as "being your boyfriend" surely not a kiss. I agree with your mom but would say for you to continue your relationship with him as "only a friend". Keep your distance, at least for a while. Don't let him break your heart over this. You are a sweet child. Good luck!
2007-11-13 01:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by kim_n_orlando 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋