Why is it that when you live with your wife and with your kids you sit on the couch, don't take out your kids, don't read to them, don't care for them. Yet When you divorce or separate you want to be there for them? Why didn't you do it when you had the chance?
2007-11-12 09:02:06 · 33 answers · asked by MrRight 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have known at least 4 out of 5 Fathers who would think that rasing their kids is a mothers job. They either take the easy way out and walk out....and 4 months later they want to be part of their lifes like nothing ever happened!
2007-11-13 03:34:09 · update #1
I know some men like that!!! That is such a great question!!! Thanks for asking it
2007-11-12 09:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am a dad. I did everything with my kids just about every day since they were born. I have been separated now for 11 months. My kids are 11 and 6. Oh by the way, I have full custody of them. Their mother has not even seen them in 3 months. I coach my sons football team, help with my daughters cheerleading squad, Both kids are on the honor roll and one was invited to join Beta club and the younger one got the good citizen award. I live for my kids.
2007-11-12 10:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Bones 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I wish I knew the answer! Being a great father should come natural... Far too often many father's not all think raising children is a woman's job. A lot of father's take for granted their situation making things easier for themselves. I think some men have no idea or concept of what they are missing out on when they choose to avoid their children until it is convenient for them. The mother will definitely reap all the rewards and joys from rearing the children. Father's please understand your children need your presence emotionally, physically and financially. Don't keep making mistakes or you'll have regrets!
2007-11-12 10:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is sad the way that some men can be to their children. I've had friends tell me how lucky I am that my husband plays an active role in our kids lives. I never have to ask him to do anything for/with the kids. He always helped me out and never made me feel like I was raising them by themselves. As far as the fathers that now divorced and feel that they have to suddenly be apart of their children's lives has to do with regret. Regret that when they should and did have the time and countless opportunities to play an active role in their children's lives they instead chose not to. They took for granted what they had and now have to go that extra mile to make sure that their children are aware that they are loved. When a divorce is involved both parents should try as hard as they can to make life as bearable for the kids as they can. This is no longer about either parents issues or conflicts, it's about the kids.and helping them understand that both of their parents love and will always be there for them.
2007-11-13 05:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people take each other for granted. "Oh I'll get around to it" or "they can wait". Once there is a separation though, reality sets in and you start to think about all the missed opportunities. I believe it's human nature to take people for granted. Unfortunately it's the taking for granted that also causes the separations and the divorces. After something has been snatched out of your grasp you realize just how much it meant to you. Hopefully it's not too late by then.
2007-11-12 09:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by kalischild57 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Univision.
Looks like you hit the hot button for so many gals out there!
Of course this is a generalization of how (some) men are.
But you really were asking "Why?" weren't you.
And it is the fault of not only men but all of society. Including women/wives.
Here's why I say this...
When we let our culture accept such low moral standards such as shacking up, promiscuity, and pornography (all of which objectifies men & women) and abortion (which destroys the value of life) and when we abdicate by our silence the value and importance of prayer in both our private and public life, then we secretly lie to ourselves that our fathers (or anyone but ourselves) are to blame and are a disappointment and have done us wrong.
"Why" is only a good question if we are going to be brave enough to take action.
Let's all live moral lives.
Let's all bend a knee and give thanks to our creator.
Women who love and encourage Husbands to take their families to church on Sunday will find that those children will be in a home that won't be disordered by divorce.
Fathers who love their wives and set good examples for their families never have to wonder if it was their fault that their family is broken. Because chances are It won't be.
GB u always
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plz pic mine 4 bst answr
thin~Q
u r sweet if u do!
2007-11-12 19:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by whoopswhatever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think thats a fairly unfair generalisation when there are LOTS of fathers that do help out around the house, drive their kids around, and take kids out and play with them.
I could say the same thing like 'Why don't mothers go out and get jobs when their kids get to school age. Instead they just get overweight and watch 'talk' shows on TV all day'.
It wouldn't be fair to generalise like this as you are ignoring all of the good parents out there.
I think the reason things like this happens is because not everyone realises how much having children is going to affect their lives before they make the commitment.
2007-11-12 12:19:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't know what they are missing. I knew a man who loved his wife but she wanted to divorce him. He still lived in the house and his daughters were grown but he had a 7 year old boy. Thinking he was going to lose his wife, children and home was tearing him apart. He started taking the son out doing father son things because he was going to miss him so much. His wife kept telling him how many more days until the divorce was final but he was too stubborn to beg her not to do it. I told him he should send her flowers and court her try to win her back but he refused to mention the divorce since it was her idea.
Then one day she said 3 days left and he said, you know this divorce wasn't my idea. She canceled the divorce and he sold his business that she was mad about him having. I only saw him when I shopped in his store so I never saw him again but I love happy endings.
2007-11-12 09:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're certainly the only sane one right here. 3 weeks of anger administration classes would not turn someone around who has an entire life of anger themes. needless to say your mom submit with a gaggle of crap from him and prefer many women in abusive relationships, she's prepared to furnish him yet another replace. As for people saying you will desire to forgive him because of fact he's your father - that's bs. He needs to earn your have confidence and admire. he's not in basic terms entitled to it because of fact he donated the sperm. you do no longer say how previous you're. while you're over 18 you're patently in a miles better place. you are able to settle for him or no longer with the aid of purely shifting out if he turns violent returned. while you're decrease than 18 i could recommend contacting new child shielding amenities if he pulls something. You sound like an smart youthful guy, plenty greater smart than the folk around you. i could recommend telling him you will provide him a great gamble yet in addition tell him that if he EVEN THINKS approximately elevating his voice or hitting somebody, you're outta there.
2016-12-16 06:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by lacue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are doing that as measure of a real man. They don't want to be responsible enough and never realized that taking care of children and doing household chores is a big responsiblity.
For them, men should only work for the family, period.
Usually they inherited that to their parents.
Parenthood should have flexibility and full responsibility. The more you get close to your partner and children, the more you gain respect and love. That's the real meaning of machismo or manhood.
2007-11-16 02:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by engrenan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, we don't have this problem. My fiance is so good with my son. Sometimes I get jealous that they play so well together. Not only that, but he helps me clean the house, do the dishes and laundry, without me even having to ask. It took a lot of arguments to finally get where we are today, but I couldnt be happier.
Maybe you just didn't have much to strive for because you already had everything you wanted. Now that you have something to look forward to, it changes things
2007-11-12 09:24:27 · answer #11 · answered by ~Logans Mommy~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋