My 18 year old little sister lives with me. Last night she left at 8pm with a boy she has only been talking to. Her first time out with him and she didn't come home. Nor did she call,.She said she called but there was no messages on my machine. When I woke up and realized she wasn't home I called her and then I called my dad. She doesn't pay rent or even for her own groceries. This past weekend she took money from my daughters piggey bank for her to get to work. She did pay it back but thats not the point. I have caught her lieing to our parents and now I really do feel like if I let her stay she is just going keep walking all over me. I let her come live with me so she can be independent but the person I see I don't like. I understand teenagers and the respect factor but waking up and thinking I would have to call my parents and tell them she is missing I just can't take. If there is a way I can get my point across with out kicking her out I will gladly try.
2007-11-12 07:17:48 · 10 answers · asked by fabulosity 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thank you to everyone for your responses. I do appreciate the advice. I did put my foot down and gave her set of rules to follow and it is understood that if any of these rules are violated she will be sent home no questions asked. Thanks again to you all.
2007-11-14 10:43:50 · update #1
I know you don't want to kick her out but it's not fair to you that she doesn't have the consideration or the appreciation for you. You have taken her in and she has no respect for you. I would tell her what your rules are around there and tell her that you love her but this is how you run your house and if she can't give you the respect then she would have to find somewhere else to live. She has to make a choice and if she doesn't listen to you and chooses to disrespect you then that is her fault, not yours and you shouldn't feel guilty. Good luck & God Bless You & your sister!!!
2007-11-12 07:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by Betsy S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to put ur foot down & let her know what ur rules are. I mean in the end it is ur house. U say that u let her live in ur home to be independant but, how is she being independant if she doesn't pay for anything not even for food?!
U should talk to her because God for bid something happens to her, u don't want ur family blaming u. She is 18 but I'm pretty sure u have rules that she still needs to go by. If shes not coming home she, she should at least call u so u won't worry. Good Luck!
2007-11-12 15:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by MARI 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter whom you live with or how old you are, there are rules. Although she may have more freedom and independence living with you than your parents, there are still rules and just courtesy's.
Sit down and talk with your sister about the rules and expectations of you staying in your home. Ask her input and let her be part of the decision making process.
Either she will agree or she can move out. Let her know it is a trial basis and then stick to your guns.
2007-11-12 15:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have taken on the responsibilities of a parent, but your sister is now an adult. That means she gets to make her own decisions But, since she is living under your roof, you get to decide if those decisions are ones you are willing to underwrite. Sit down with your sister and a piece of paper. Write down what rules are important to your sanity. It is not that you are trying to be her parent, but simple courtesy demands that you let the people you live with know, where you are, when you will be back and who you are with. It is a privalege for your sister to be allowed to live with you. She should either be in school, or working or both however. Make a definate date that she needs to be out on her own so she will work towards a goal. You will not be doing yourself or her a favor to let that slide. Don't be vague, like "you can stay until you get on your feet" that could be never. keep reminding her of her responsibilities "as an adult" and that she has responsibility to act as an adult since she now legally is one.
2007-11-12 15:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your home and your rules. Adult or not, if she's not paying you to support her, then she has to abide by the rules you set. Post a list of rules on the refridgerator (Home by 11pm- 12pm on weekends, call if you're going to be late, ask if you need gas money- don't just take it) and tell her that if she breaks another one, she's out. She should be greatful for the hospitality that you have shown her, but instead she's seeing you as her free ride. You have to stand up for yourself, or she'll always treat you like her personal piggy bank.
2007-11-12 16:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by chaotic_kimmy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can have a talk with her about her behavior.Tell her what you expect from her.Dont leave any i's undoted.If she cant follow the rules send her packing back to mom and dad.....Just because you are not her mom doesnt mean you arnt going to worry when she is out all night and you dont know where she is.Especially now a days with all the murders and miss girls.Good luck dear.....
2007-11-12 15:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie Ann H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unless you put your foot down right now! why did she move out of your parents house? to be independent? well she's not being responsible or independent, she is mooching off you and you are letting her. just because you aren't her parents, she still lives in your home and she needs to know that there are still rules, and while she lives with you, she needs to abide by them and if not, she is going to have to move on...
2007-11-12 15:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your house and your rules. Sit her down and tell her under what conditions she will be allowed to stay with you. Tell her you love her, but you have your own kids to raise and will not tolerate her setting a bad example. If she can't live with the rules, send her back.
2007-11-12 15:23:37 · answer #8 · answered by Curious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not mature enough to be out on her own and all you are doing is making it easy for her. Send her home, the experiment didn't work, she's acting like a child and you already have one.
2007-11-12 15:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a lying, thieving, selfish jerk.
Send her back, kick her out. Don't fall for her manipulative ways or you and your daughter will be up one deep creek.
The next thing you know, she will have your credit cards, cash, run up your phone bill, etc., and you will have to pay, and pay, and pay. you'll never have any peace.
2007-11-12 15:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ohno 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋