is he right? or am i?

Question

i started talking to my ex "boyfriend" from middle school if you could even call him that since we were so young. i like to call him more of an old best friend. anyway we started hanging out and i didn't expect much just getting caught up on time we lost but the more we talked we realized we have a lot in common and going through a lot of the same stuff so we started hanging out a lot more. my boyfriend didn't really mind at first but the more i hung out with my old friend my boyfriend got mad and he told me he wouldn't date me if i still talked to him. i understand how he feels but i've told him numerous times that we're just friends and its nice to talk to someone who understands the crap i'm going through considering all my friends are jackasses that aren't really there for me. I just don't see why its such a big deal i have a "GUY" friend...if it was a girl he wouldn't even be upset. Do you think my boyfriend is right for thinking its wrong i have a guy best friend?

Answer 1

he may be bordering on controlling telling you that you're not allowed to talk to this person... but make sure that you're not turning to this friend for everything - - boyfriends are for more than kissing - he needs to feel needed - if you're always turning to someone else for advice, support, and good conversation, he has a right to be upset

Answer 2

wELL TO TELL YOU THA TRUTH YOU BOTH ARE WRNG BUT ITS SOMETHING THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH.he is wrng because he is letting jelously get to him when that is really a female emotion.You are in the wrong because when you say that its a kewl person that you can just talk to well that's your boyfriends job.so I dnt understand how you can say that you are talkin to this 'old friend' because he's someone kewl to talk to. Your boyfriend basically feels that something is going on and is going to feel that way until you two either break up or he catch's you doing somethign that he always knew you were doing.The o nly thing i can tell you is that if you want to hang with this boy and still keep your boyfriend stop increasing the time you spend with him.Or better yet and u can take this how you want."what your boyfriend doesnt know won't hurt him and tha time you spend or talk to your old friend that your boyfriend doesn't know about cant get you in any trouble"...just a little tip.

Answer 3

I don't think it is so much that your "best friend" is a guy, rather it is the amount of time you are spending with him, and I suspect you are constantly talking about him. Put yourself in your bf's shoes for a moment, how would you feel if suddenly an old friend (girl) suddenly came bacxk into his life and was taking up a lot of his time, he was always talking about her etc, yet assured you they were just "best friends". I'm not saying to stop having the guy for a best friend, but don't let it interfere with your relationship and try not bringing him up when you are with your bf.
In the end you will have to decide who is more important, but don't let anyone dictate who you choose for a friend or a bf.

Answer 4

You're getting too close to this guy for your bf's comfort.

He feels as though you are replacing him. Which you essentially are.

I think you should either stop talking to the guy, or break up with your boyfriend and date the guy.

I'm sure you would feel the same if he was spending a lot of time with an ex girlfriend of the past.

(And yes, I think that in due time, you will eventually fall in love with this guy if you keep up what you're doing. And perhaps, he is the person you should really be with, did you ever think about that???) Yay I'm a home wrecker! yay! lol

Answer 5

You call your 'friends' jackasses, you start talking to a guy your present BF doesn't know and it turns out he's an old crush and you want to know if your behavior is normal and acceptable??? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your BF started hanging out with an ex-GF from the 6th grade? And why do you keep friends that you feel are not worthy of you?? You have a strange way of living your life...

Answer 6

I dont think anybody is "right or wrong" here. I think that your bf is feeling threatened and jealous. I probably would too. I would be willing to bet that he wants you to share all of that time and "stuff" with him instead of this new guy. If there really isnt anything going on with the old friend and you, and you really want to keep on being friends with him, I would introduce the new bf and old friend. Give your new guy a chance to form an honest opinion of him and your guys' relationship instead of having all of these thoughts that are probably going thru his head that scare the heck out of him. He's afraid. keep on being friends with him. life is short and we all need as many friends as we can gather. best luck.

Answer 7

He is wrong, I have loads of close male friends and would never compromise a friendship with any of them for some guy.
Your boyfriend has jealousy issues,and possibly trust issues.
Tell him that you're going to keep hanging out with your friend because it's good for you, and you want to keep seeing him too, but if he pulls that emotional baclkmailing crap again you'll dump his *** so hard he'll be sh*tting blood for a week.

or something like that. (:

Answer 8

It's a competetion thing. Guys like to feel like they're the only one's in that girl's world. As soon as that's compromised, all of the defenses come out (i.e. telling you stay away from the guy friend). That's just the way it is.

Answer 9

I say that if your boyfriend can't be there for you like this other guy is and all your boyfriend can do is ***** about you having a friend, just break up with him and give your old friend another chance.

Answer 10

It depends on how you would feel if he had a female best friend. You both need to agree on these things.