They are 8 and 12.. I have never really had to interact with an 8 year old or a 12 year old.
I have a 3 year old myself.. I don't want to talk to his kids the way I do my son because obviously my son needs things explained to him so I am used to doing it all the time.. I don't want to patronise the kids and have them think I'm strange!!
What are 8 year olds and 12 year olds like? I'm really nervous!!
2007-11-11 18:33:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm a teacher and I find the best way to treat children is to be honest with them (obviously with common sense attached. Children don't need to know things that are beyond their age levels). Children are also protective of their parents. You won't be trying to take the place of the biological mother, but sometimes kids can feel resentful that their parents are not together for whatever reason and you may not be seen in a favourable light. Don't take that personally IF it happens. That is only a natural response. Also, you will be nervous and I'm sure that they will be too (as well as curious etc). it's only a first meeting and everybody will be trying to find their way. My advice is to embrace this as an adventure rather than a steep learning curve. Who knows, for all we know NONE of these "hypotheticals" may occur. You may all have a great time and wonder what the fuss is all about. Be open minded and enjoy the new experience :)
2007-11-11 18:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by Angel2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. Tell them up front you only have a 3 year old and you're not used to kids their age, they should tell you if you make mistakes.
They're not adults yet - but they probably like to think they are, certainly the 12 year old. If you're in a situation where you don't know what to do - ask them (especially the older one). "Do you have a big plate or a small one for your dinner?" "Do you think I should help your little brother with his homework?" "My little boy holds my hand to cross the road, you're much bigger than him but what do you normally do?" "I don't want to give you more than you can eat, how many potatoes do you normally have?"
And be honest! They'll probably be very wary of you. You may get questions like "are you going to be our new mum?" Be ready to assure them that you're not intending to replace anybody. And be aware that, especially from the younger one, you may get candid comments starting "x said that you..." If it's uncomplimentary, just say "well, I hope I'm not really like that" and move on.
2007-11-12 01:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to remember to be yourself. Be confident. Don't be surprised if the 12 year old is a lil resentful towards you. He's going into teen years and will be moody, and you're NOT his mom. He'll feel like you're trying to be his mom. The eight year old will most likely want alot of your attention and praise.
Ask questions like, What do you like to do for fun? What's your favorite movie? Do you have a gameboy? what's your favorite game? Let them lead the conversation...
You'll do fine. Good luck
2007-11-12 02:18:27 · answer #3 · answered by Susie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your b/f what their favorite shows are and study up on them if you are not familiar with them so you can have a conversation about the characters. Find out what their favorite foods are and maybe prepare dinner for them. My step-kids were 14 and 15 when I met my husband and food is almost always the best way to go. Hooked them in right away.
2007-11-11 18:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of all pay attention to them. listen to what they may have to say, ask them questions about it. perhaps even ask their parent what they are into, such as subjects at school, books they read, etc. every child has their individual interests and love it when an adult pay attentions enough to be interested in their thoughts, opinions and/or insights about it.
you already got being a parent yourself working in your favor. so just relax. most kids aren't going to like anyone new in their parent's life. but don't let that discourage you. also don't let it make you want to push being their friend from the get go. go with the flow. let their parent really orchestrate things initially. and remember....listen, attention, ask, interest.
you'll do just fine.
2007-11-11 18:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are full of there own ideas, probbaly into games on the Play station. not girls yet, maybe sports, ask your partner, that way you'll have something to talk to them about., relax, just be yourself. Let them do things for themselves, they will let you know if they need help.
Hope all goes well
2007-11-11 18:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by Rhonda T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them like you would an adult. Most kids at that age can see through a phony act. Most of them do not like people talking down on them. In other words just be yourself and they will like you for who you are. It will come natural to you.
2007-11-11 20:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by mytwoboys 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They will be able to work you out in a min. They might be young, but they are not stupid. So just be yourself. They won't expect you to be all over them, so don't you expect that either. Don't be nervous, they are only people after all. Keep the conversation simpIe, I sincerely hope you have a wonderful time. :-)
2007-11-11 18:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
their at the age where they think they know everything, so definitly no baby talk, just calm and cool like mature adults, they love sweets and sugar at this age, be prepared with some cookies. Good luck!
2007-11-11 18:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you meet them, try to be friendly and maybe let them do the talking.
2007-11-11 18:36:23 · answer #10 · answered by Tantu 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋