If you've got a fat friend, is it rude to ask her not to eat so much when you go out for lunch?

Question

My friend just eats sooo much, and it's real embarrassing. Can I ask her to tone it down a little when we go to lunch?

Answer 1

dependent your relation together
but if i were you i will tell her at least about the risk of the high weight

Answer 2

Yes, that is very rude. You will be sending a message that you don't accept her as she is. Apparently, she's already got that message from others and her low self-esteem causes her to eat nervously. Before you go out for a lunch, plan to go for 'just a salad'...... Tell her you've not been eating as healthy as you should and you want to do something about it. Ask her if she would support you in this. The conversation will probably go to her weight, and the two of you could come up with a plan to support 'each other' and try to get in shape.

It doesn't matter whether you are heavy or not. Healthy eating is more than just about weight. I't about your health. So you could help each other. You say she is a 'friend'____ If that is so, this is your chance to be supportive and help her turn her life around. Remember, most over eating is emotional. So to help her, help her deal with what it is that upsets her so much. Be a friend.

Answer 3

Why in the world does this embarrass you? That's the issue you should focus on. Also, if you have a fat friend who actually WANTS to lose weight and eat less, you might try suggesting healthy restaurants to take her to; otherwise, let her be. I have a fat friend too, but we always go to a buffet so she can eat to her heart's desire, as she isn't the least bit interested in losing weight and I'm a real fan of the squid they have at that particular restaurant. In fact, she eats so much that I suspect the workers at the restaurant make bets on it, but this doesn't bother me either. I think it is kind of cute. She does have a weight problem, but, until she admits and deals with it, I'm not going to interfere or hold her back. She has to realize it for herself, and the only thing I ever say to her about it is when her ankles hurt or she feels ill--I tell her to try not to overdo it so much if she doesn't want to feel bad. But I'd never tell her to tone it down for my sake.

Answer 4

That's rude. Maybe you shouldn't be her friend if you can't stand how much she eats. Also that's really shallow and lame to point out how much someone eats. The only way I'd complain about how much a person ate was whether or not I paid for the bill. No you cannot ask her to slow down you'll hurt her feelings and ultimately you'll lose a friend just because your concerned about how much she eats.

Which do you value more?

Answer 5

Thats ridiculous...is it that bothersome to you that your friend eats alot? Being embarrassed by your friends eating habits only show how much u value y'all two friendships. The fact that u even need to ask that is very sad....and if i was your friend....i would be embarrassed from your rudeness and lack of manners.

Answer 6

It's very rude to ask her that. Most people who eat excessively are already emotionally stressed, and you being a "friend" saying that you're embarassed by her eating will only hurt her more.

Instead, you should care about her eating habits because of her wellbeing, not how it makes you look. Tell her you are concerned that she might be hurt and hence emotionally stressed, let her know that you are there for her. And maybe you can suggest that you feel like getting healthier and would like to eat less and invite her to participate in a "diet" with you.

Answer 7

It is incredibly rude. I think that you are a really rude person to even say something like that about your friend. How much she eats is her business. Why in the hell would it embarrass YOU?? It has nothing to do with you.
Do your friend a favor - don't go out to lunch with her anymore and maybe think about being more supportive. Nobody wants to be overweight, but sometimes it is out of their control. I real friend would be worried about the overweight friend's health, not their own discomfort. Time to grow up.

Answer 8

yes it is rude. for some reason i think we, as thin people, forget that heavyset (or stocky, plump, fat, whatever you prefer to say i guess) have feelings. we (and i'm referring to the thin people that do this of course) insult them, ridicule them and they know they're hurting them but they dont care.

they laugh at them in their face and behind there backs and tell them to go loose some weight and when they get up the courage to do that they still get laughed at for trying. then we wonder why we're always hearing how such low self images they have.

i have 2 very good friends with weight issues they are dealing with and i would never say anything against them because of their weight because i see how they are treated in this society and i know they are worth far more than just their weight. they are very sweet, dear people.

i think its the #1 discrimination against people and the sad thing about it is it's acceptable by practically everyone on this earth it seems. we get away with insulting heavyset people, for being big, more than any other discrimination. your friend may have a weight issue to deal with but she is a human being first and above all else. please always give her the automatic respect she rightfully deserves to have.

Answer 9

Just have a good time! She would be the first person to know if shes fat! So why give her a tough time when shes out to have fun? Enjoy n make the best out of the nite like you would with other friends!! :)

Answer 10

you call your self a friend? first of all you are passing judgment on her and that is not what friends do. If it bothers you so much just don't go out with her. I hope she finds out your true nature somehow so she can see that you are not a real friend.

Answer 11

Wow ! Some friend you are- ! If your ashamed of how much your friend eats then I suggest you don't go to lunch with your friend. It's NOT your place to tell someone what to eat and how much. good luck