I've decided to re-re-re interpret the Bible and publish a new version. Any suggestions on what it should say?

Question

(((queenofyack)))

Answer 1

Make a short version where it has this following verse only:
"Make peace and love not war and hate"

Answer 2

Well in my opinion, the Bible is a secondary source.Over time men have said, well, I think I'll leave this part out, and Oh, I need to get people to understand that Jesus is good! Lets exagerate this and say he is God's son!!! Well I think you should just re-write the wole thing, because pretty soon, people will re-write thie whole thing! That is how life is going, I mean almost everyone will lie at least once a day! Wowsers, imagine what the bible will say in the year 3000!

Answer 3

It must contain a disclaimer, which may look something like this:

*Disclaimer*
Anything represented in this book is the work of an overactive imagination and wishful thinking. Follow the penguin's instructions at your own risk. Following the aforementioned instructions may result in mass hysteria, hypocrisy made into law, delusions, and/or a complete lack of the word "logic".


There must also be at least three references to the One True Lord, the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster, as well as to Chuck Norris, in order for this book to have a certain entertainment value.

Answer 4

it really is basically the nasty thanks to say it. The Holy Spirit teaches us and shows us the knowledge, target, plan and could of the Lord. without that Spirit, the scriptures are hidden or stupid to someone. it really is now to not even start up to say that each and each and each person Spirit indwelt human beings are continuously proper. we will be incorrect, incorrect, incorrect....yet it really is because some human beings (and all and sundry at cases) lack the discernment to understand what's of the Spirit and what's of our own making. As a BA matures, with a view to does her/his ability to quell the self, so as that the Spirit's training is clearer. really, we may be able to introduce our own human perceptions into God's perfect knowledge. like the bumper sticky label says....Christians are not perfect, they are basically forgiven. And that changed into the great thanks to say it. wish that permits. Godspeed

Answer 5

You have the right. But you are a little to late. Many have already done it and have millions of followers.
It is not to late for there is a sucker born every minute, as they say, and probably you will get away and be worship by them. So what they are suckers as long as they give you cash and bow to you. There are so many atheist here and you can try something which is appealing to them to attract them and voila!!! you might be the world riches man.
I have given you a hint who to strike/target so I hope you will be a very very rich man.
Good luck to you,

Answer 6

Lots of flying robots and more forbidden sex. Those two things always make the best seller list.
Also try to include:
1. Middle Earth
2. Characters from Star Trek
3. More wild parties (of course)
4. A cute, sexy, lovable paramedic that save the day (my favorite character)
5. Make sure the flying robots have laser beams for hair.

Answer 7

It should say (((IWF))) rules! All refrences to God shoulf be replaced by IWF
Also could you make some "Limited editions" like Garth Brooks did with his 14th "I'm retired and putting out the same music" cd...it has secret codes in it.

Answer 8

Unless you have the Spirit guiding you don't. If you change the meaning of the book and lead astray any of God's children it will be very bad for you as the Bible states it would have been better for you if a mill stone were tied around your neck and you were cast into the sea.

Answer 9

Publish two versions; one for fundies and one for moderates. You'll make a fortune.

Answer 10

Just include a page at the beginning saying something to the effect of "all charecters here in are purely fictional...any similarity to those persons living or dead are purely coincidental..."