What's with the scarce food in an American wedding ?

Question

My wife and I have attended 2 wedding receptions here in the USA. We are dissappointed with the amount and quality of food served. We had attended probably about 50 wedding dinners betwen us in our lifetime, in other parts of the world, and we never had come home from a wedding party still feeling hungry.

The 2 families are from middle class, and we were quite shocked. I would like to receive comments on your experiences.

BTW, we are both slim and active people.

In other parts of the world, you get to gorge yourself to your heart's content, several course dinners, and moreover, the liquor - not beer, but cognac are FREE !!!

Someone said the food is expensive, you gotta be kidding or you don't do grocery yourselves. Probably it is the catering service, not the real food that is expensive. I wonder, why not do a hotel or Vegas -style buffet. Even 1/2 or 1/3 of that would really great. Plus some of the dishes in Chinese Buffet are quite good.

Even my company's lunch meeting or church pot-luck offers more food than those 2 receptions I have been to.

Thanks for the many answers, I am so relieve that scarce food is not that typical after all, but I think food planning needs a HUGE IMPROVEMENT !!

Answer 1

Well, what kind of weddings did you attend?

Most weddings I go to, having a lot of food and open bar is normal.

There are some people in the US that don't believe in providing large meals to their wedding guests. I mean, just read this section of Yahoo! Answers for a few days. You will be VERY surprised at some people's ideas of weddings. Some people have potluck-which means everyone brings a dish to the reception. Which is a bit crazy to me. People also have cash bar...which shocks me too.

Also, weddings are very expensive in the US and people don't want to spend that much on food.

IMO, I think food is the top priority when having a wedding reception. A good host has more food then the guests can eat. It's not a matter of people receiving free food. It's simple etiquette that's been around for generations. You don't let guests (regardless if they are at your wedding reception or in your home) go hungry.

When I get married, I plan on having open bar, cocktail hour, salad course, pasta course, main entree and dessert. I think that's a sufficient amount of food, especially considering most portions are very large.

Answer 2

I have been working at a banquet facility for the past 6 months. Since I never attended a wedding out of the u.s. I can't really compare the two but maybe it is cost? Middle class isn't rich and weddings cost a LOT. Bare minimum that I've served at a wedding so far has been two courses. The most was 5 (not including hors deourves and cake, some people even have an assortment of other cakes, cookies, and pastries along with the traditional wedding cake) Now I'm a small girl and don't eat much so me not being able to eat 5 courses doesn't say much. But I don't know many people that CAN eat all 5 courses...typically by the second course people stop eating everything on their plates and I have to bring out lots of leftover containers for them. As far as the quality? It's good. From what I've tasted anyway, and I never heard someone complain about how bad the food is...I've only ever heard good things from the guests about the food (and if you think they are probably just being polite...trust me they're not) and you have to pay extra for an open bar (which includes liquor and beer) so cash bar is cheaper

Answer 3

Funny you ask! Last year my sister-in-law and her now husband were married. It was not high class, but slightly higher than middle class. When she did the planning of her wedding she was able to choose the courses, entrees, etc, by sampling. However, she was so busy that she did not even think to consider the size of each portion served. She payed a huge bill for the wedding dinner. Although it was of exceptable quality, the portions were so little that my children complained of hunger after only 1 hour of returning to the hotel.

I believe that even the finest caterers can be thrifty, trying to pinch each penny that they can. I don't know if it is "American" because I have never left the country. There are just greedy people, running greedy companies out there. Which probably had nothing to do with the actual hosts of the wedding. Besides maybe lacking better knowledge and planning skills.

I can say on the other hand, there have been many weddings I have attended that had large tables of festive gourmet food, or "buffet style" of good quality, even in lower class. So maybe u just got bad luck in your experience so far, but don't give up on weddings, you are there for the couple not the food right? But food is a good bonus lol! My point being made, can I kindly ask you not to stereotype "America". Not because it is politically correct, but simply because you are now American, and wherever you came from shares a large part of our culture as well. I am sure that it was a personal bad experience versus overall "American weddings". But good luck on the next one that you attend☺

Answer 4

O yes!
I feel the same way!
I thought that some people miss the point, which is not about free food
The question is about a tradition. And wedding food can not be free, sense you’re have to bring a present or money, right?:)
And that is not about rich or poor. I can tell you, that other countries are poor, then America, common! And they do try to do a wedding the best they can. Especially a table/food.
And it is not about can you or not eat 5 courses. It is again, about tradition. Table must be rich. Even if someone who is really poor, they do have rich wedding table. I can tell for Ukraine, Russia and Malaysia.
But in America it seems totally different, I wonder why?

Me and my husband both from Europe. Our first time experience with an American wedding was hilarious!
I told my husband,: Okay lets do some fasting, sense we’re going to attend a wedding and will eat great yummy food there” But boy, I was so shock when after our attending to a wedding we were so hungry that we’re just go straight to the restaurant .
I know that our hostess spend 30.000$ for that wedding, but steel find that suppressing.
The food was just horrible, it was served in a two plaits. Both were cold. First were a dried small peace of chicken and a salad without dressing, and second pasta. I mean……totally cool like for a wedding.
And you have to pay for your drinks.
So fare I never (hopefully yet) been to a really nicely done wedding.

If you attending a Chinese wedding, wow – several courses, and you can choose all what do you want yourself. If you attend to a Ukrainian or, Russian wedding – people celebrating for a 1-2-3 days. With 3-4-5 courses of food and drinks, which is free and you can poor as much as you want.
The point is not that lets get drank and eat as a pigs, the point is that it seems that food is really left behind and mostly not important as it seems for an American wedding, I steel wonder why?
So my guess will be that for a an American wedding they pay attention not to a guest and their belly  , But location and something else. ?????
Many also mention that American weeding are expensive, but so at other countries!
And that is not about gourmet, it about at least not hungry, right?:) LOL

Answer 5

Some hotels are cheap with the portions. The couple may be paying $40-$50 a plate for food alone and portions may be very small. I have gone to a wedding that severed fillet mignon, but the portions were so small that I was starving afterwards!! (I am tiny, but have a healthy appetite!).

My fiance and I both have families that are skinny as rails, but can out-eat sumo wrestlers. So we are having a buffet so our guests can eat and be merry. Might as well get our money's worth. We are also having a chocolate fountain, candy bar, hot chocolate bar (winter wedding), and open bar.

Our guests should not have a problem feeling full.

Although I don't know if my input matters, I am Canadian. But I think regardless you are judging a whole country based on 2 weddings.

Perhaps it is much cheaper to host a wedding in the other countries you have been to.

P.S. I also want brides to know that they shouldn't automatically prefer seated meals over buffet. Buffet is not a "lesser" choice. You usually get more food for your money, and often it is the same price as a plated meal, but your guests get much more food. Hotels make a fortune on plated meals at the expense of your hungry guests. My fiance's cousin is *VERY well off* (her dad owns oil companies), and believe it or not, they had a (very nice) buffet and the guests loved it. A buffet is the most bang for your buck.

Answer 6

Well, I have had only one experience with wedding that did not have enough food and that was a wedding in Florida ten years ago. The reception was held in their back yard and there were approximately 45 people there and there was enough coldcuts and bread for 10 people...no fruit bowl, no side salads, but more liquor than needed because all they wanted to do was to get drunk...terrible and disgusting behavior.

Now where I come from, weddings are lavish affairs with so much food that sometimes it is too too much, but I have never gone away disappointed or hungry in NY where I come from. I am Italian and most Italian weddings have good food, drink and a great band, so all I can say is that one experience in Florida was what I remember...

Answer 7

I can laugh at this question, because my husband and I married in Las Vegas and we took 12 other family and friends to the Paris buffet.

We fed all of those people all you can eat food, drinks, and desserts for $25 a person plus tax. Where else can you serve all you can eat seafood to your guests for that price.

I think a problem American people have is asking for help on their wedding day, whereas I went to a wedding in Germany, and it is tradition for people that attended to at least bring a cake (kochen) to the wedding so everyone can have a lot to eat. Also, the liquor is not as expensive here, beer flows freely, and the food is much better than in the States.

American ´weddings are expensive only because people are willing to pay for them, and sometimes, the food is not a priority as much as other things for the wedding, i.e. the gown, the DJ, etc.

Answer 8

I have attended weddings where the food was not great and I wouldn't eat it.
Weddings are expensive and food & alcohol tend to take up the biggest parts of the bill.
My fiance & I are now choosing to shorten our guest list so we can afford a good selection of food, good alcohol and a nice venue.
Also for the alcohol - - besides the cost, alot of people prefer to limit it because if you drink too much and get in an accident afterward, the bride & groom can be held responsible in your accident because they provided you with the alcohol.
My fiance & I are being "cheap" and trying to keep to a $15,000 to $20,000 budget ( i think the average wedding in USA is something like $30,000). Thats what my car cost and will be what we pay to throw a party for our friends and family! I think that is a bit whacky, but its what it costs and why we're taking 2 years of engagement to save up for one day.

Answer 9

I AGREE!!!!!!!!!! i am american, however, but on here i have seen so many questions and answers concerning food and guests paying for their own alcohol that i just do not get! my cousin got married this past year and there was so much food that i wasnt even able to taste everything that i wanted... i have never been to a wedding where that was not the case.. my wedding will be the same in may.. it is totally inappropriate to have your guests pay for anything!! i cant believe that you went to a wedding like that.. and that others are commenting about having weddings like that!

Answer 10

a lot of people pick a sit down dinner b/c they think it is nicer.. but you end up with 1 plate of food that you might not like.. buffets are a better choice for feeding people well but maybe that wasn't where they were concentrating their plans.. also a lot of wedding receptions in the US seem to go on for days.. maybe it was plenty of food but you were there for 6 hours and it was just time to eat again.. ;-)