why do i have such trouble?

Question

im 22 and never had a girlfriend, and the ONLY 2 girls who i thought both showed any interest in me were my mates gf's (so obviously i didnt try anything). i know im not the greatest looking guy goin around, but i do feel like i could still make a girl happy. also since i have been single i have been able to focus on many other things like getting a degree, professional job, house, car, taught myself guitar....it seems though that i am destined to 'enjoy' these things alone. most girls are nice to me, some have told me that im ugly as sin, but none have ever really wanted me. i am losing the desire to socialise, and just feel like i wont ever have a gf. im a virgin, but not by choice. i think i come across desperate but how can you not after 22 years? i think physically ive got no hope, and my personality just isnt that exciting....all my mates are "good-looking" according to most girls, so im normally last on the roll call....am i depressed? i dont know, but any help would be great!

Answer 1

Not every guy is handsome, and not every girl is glamorous. Maybe you overlook the ladies that don't look like fashion models.

It sounds like you have the drive and ambition to do anything you set your mind to. I would think there are some young women who would like that.

I honestly think there is someone out there for everybody. After all Mrs. Guy married me 33 years ago....

Answer 2

The first thing you can do is be fashionably capable. Wear the right stuff. If you don't know what that is, look in catalogues or Abercrombie stores. Go to clubs where girls don't know you and you have a fresh start. I kind of doubt you're ugly, maybe you're just paranoid? Try to calm down. Show off your guitar, girls loooooove that! Try to stray away from your mates GF's, it won't work out for you. You aren't depressed, but you ARE lonely. The most important thing?

Never loose hope. There IS someone out there for everyone. Including you. Cheer up and get out there!

Good luck! ~Opal =]

Answer 3

oh, kid, you are only 22!!
sounds like you are a smart, down to earth and good natured person. First and foremost, DO NOT change any of your goodness and solid personality just so some bimbos might find you attractive. Women who are so wrapped up with physical attractiveness are nothing but bad news and they aren't even worth the wrapping paper. The only thing you need to do is to know who you are, what you have and be fiercely proud of it. Enjoy whatever you enjoy in life with or without a girlfriend, you only have one life, you know. A really smart and great woman would go after someone who's true to himself and proud of who he is. The hell with those who think you are ugly, for all I know they could be as smart as a cucumber. Listen to me, I am much older than you and have seen so many good-looking men who are nothing but losers and duds. We all know that quite often, stuningly attractive people ended up with horrible and broken relationships and marriages. Just because you are a virgin or you don't have a girlfriend doesn't and shouldn't detract your good qualities as a person. This world could really really benefit from more down to earth and good natured people. Enjoy your life and be proud of it, Mate.

Answer 4

Look baby, your 22 live life. Go out and have a good time, you have your whole life to live. Look if you don't focus on dating and have a good time girls will see the real you not the "i'm going to die mateless" you. Be yourself, have fun, live life, and if your really datinf join Myspace, Face Book, or even an Online Dating Website. Your handsome no matter what anyone says. And you seem like a great guy a girl would like if you just didn't focus so much on girl friends.

Answer 5

Well have you asked many girls out? CZ that can be a problem ...most girls wont ask. Try being romantic and ask a girl you like on a date that normally works ...and don't be down on yourself! i know people that are in there 30's and never have even been kissed ...its nothing to do with anything other than the will to go heads first into life a see what happens

Answer 6

I could try to tell you about how women are but that would be impossible.I don't think any man has figured out women at all,I don't think that is a bad thing either.
I could say that you are probably better off having accumulated all that you have and have lots of buddies and the time to learn guitar etc.....rather than be in multiple relationships or enjoy encounter after encounter with various women but you probably don't want to hear that and I probably would not want to either if in your place.
But all I can say is that women have an ability to sence when a guy is desperite.It stands out like a neon sign and they will not have anything to do with a desperate guy.
The best thing to do is just continue being who you are.Do what you like to do and in so doing you will eventually meet someone who likes what you like,sence you will probably meet this person doing exactly what you like to do.
I had been in a long relationship that went sour and I found myself single again.I searched and searched and searched for someone to go out with but that "neon sign" was all over my forehead.After a LONG while I just gave up and said to myself "Screw it! I'm just going out to have a good time for ME" I went out and didn't so much as look at a woman.I paid them no attention at all.No glances at women as they walked by,no gawking while women were up dancing....I didn't care if I looked funny or laughed too loud or whatever.I was just out to have a good evening with a buddy,banging back a few beer and listen to a band.And that very night I think there were 3 women coming onto me and I made a date with one of them for another evening.I could not believe it.I had done nothing......nothing but just be myself and enjoy the time I was having.
All I can say is just keep being yourself.And if nothing comes out of all this you can say you at least had a good time and did what you wanted to do.Maybe you looked a little funny to but you can never laugh too loud.
Good luck and take care.

Answer 7

Get a make-over, trust me, I am sure there is a style that fits you, either preppy, hipster, nerd, Classy, etc, if you want to look good. Be more flirty around girls and be nice. Most Girls at age 19-23 perfer skinny hot guys, so if you are kind of chunky lose some weight. If you are that desperate, try going to clubs, I am sure somebody is going to like you!! Take dance class if you don't know how to dance (FOR CLUB)

Answer 8

The advice that i will give you is simple. it does not matter if you are 22 or 90. u may not be in a relationship with someone because it is not time yet. maybe life wants u to focus on other things right now. and don't get depressed for nothing really important go on with life until it comes to you

Answer 9

Here is something to think about, and hopefully make you feel better. I have been told I am a pretty good looking, sexy girl. Any guy I ever went after , said yes. accept one. the one I thought would say no. wasnt confident. you have o be confident, not conieded , but just keep in the back of your mind that you have something to offer. your heart. What I want you to think about most is that I went wth a guy who was very good looking . he had one promblem though his nose was torn off in a accident. He was very confident though. later he told me he never dreamd he would get a girlfreind again. what won me over is that he was onfident nice and he offered his heart to me.

Answer 10

I think your self-confidence is low. As we all know many aesthetically challenged men or men with bad attitudes can be chick magnets, because of the way they present themselves.
Maybe you should talk to a therapist about why you may not feel confident about your potential to get women.
And for the women that called you "ugly as sin" forget them they are cruel losers for saying that to you. Some people lack class and you can do better by yourself.