Women: if you had to pick ONE would you rather your husband didn't love you or didn't respect you?

Question

Yes, both are important - but you only get ONE so choose and explain!

You can answer about a future hypothetical husband if you are not married.

Answer 1

Love is what women crave so it's interesting that most female answers so far plump for respect. That means they are using their brains; they know that respect is the soil out of which love may grow. Without respect there can be no real, lasting love, for love that does not also encompass respect is not love at all, but mere physical desire (lust).

If you were to ask this Q of men, I bet most would say respect from their wife is, ultimately, more important for them than love. That is because mens' feelings of self-worth and importance are related directly to respect and not mere sexual satisfaction.

The Bible's command to spouses shows immense wisdom: men are told to love their wives and wives are told to respect their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-33) You might think it should be the other way around but, no. Men find it really hard to show love to their wives - wives find it really hard to show respect to their husbands. That's why God commands them not to neglect those difficult areas. When a husband shows love to his wife she finds it easier to show him respect. When a wife shows respect to her husband he finds it easier to show her love.

So I'll make do without respect as biblical love is not limited to mere sex, but is principled regard for the other's total welfare, i.e. physical, emotional and spiritual.

Answer 2

Respect is more important than love, in my opinion.
If a husband treats his wife with respect it means that he treats her fairly, and therefore love has a chance to grow.
A relationship that begins with what most people call love is often based on an infatuation and/or lust. In times of conflict or hardship, respect flies right out the window, and the relationship collapses.....
This is why I wouls rather have respect than love.

Answer 3

it takes more than love and respect to make a working marriage. If someone did not love me, I would not marry them. If someone did not respect me, I would not associate with them. I believe in marrying for love. But since this is hypothetical, if I loved them and they didn't love me but respected me and wanted to marry me anyway, I might accept and hope they grew to love me.

Answer 4

Though I'm not a woman, I don't see the difference; love entails respect; if you don't love a person, then you don't respect them either. And if don't respect them, then you don't love them.

You're asking that you be given only one face of the same coin.

Answer 5

I can't answer this question because it doesn't make sense. Love and respect go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. They are equally important to the point of being synonymous.

Answer 6

Hmm That's a difficult choice...

I would rather he didn't love me....

In reality I am positive we wouldn't remain married if either of us stopped loving or respecting the other...

Answer 7

I dont think you can have love without respect, I mean if he loves me then he will respect me, so I would say I would have him love me, because you can respect someone and not love them

Answer 8

Well, you can't HAVE love if you don't have respect, so if I *HAD* to choose one that he didn't have for me, I'd say love, because if you have respect, you can work towards love. Without respect, you have NO chance.

Answer 9

I'd take respect over love any day.

If I was not loved by my husband he would not be my husband for very long.

Answer 10

I would rather have him respect me than love me. (Incidently, I think respect is a form of love).