I met him over 2 months ago and thought he hung the moon...then we moved in together a week ago and true colors came out...i am 40 years old and have a dad and a boss but this one said he had to put me in check by checking out my pay check stubs...we fought for over 8 hours about this til i finally had enough and walked out the door...he has been a great guy so far until he had a few too many drinks and all of a sudden he turned on me...this just happened less than 12 hours ago and i am wondering did i do the right thing? should i have just gave in and agreed to the conditions...im confused i do care about this guy a whole lot...
2007-11-11 12:42:29 · 23 answers · asked by wynona m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You didn't even date this guy long enough to get to know him.
Not at all. I am sure there is a lot you don't know and he doesn't either. You can't be for sure he isn't married or have kids, or warrants or anything. Get out and be sensible the next time, use your head, you don't have to live with a man.=====
2007-11-11 12:48:31 · answer #1 · answered by lana s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met him 2 months ago and moved in a week ago ... okay. I'm seeing a red flag here because there are 'conditions' .... I think you did the right thing in walking out. Get your things and don't go back. You might care about him, but if he's interfering with what is essentially none of his business (your payment stubs), he doesn't care as much about you. Lose him.
2007-11-11 12:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first you should probably have waited a lot longer before moving in with him if you just met him 2 months ago. If you knew him longer you prob would have found out his temper..but you did the right thing and gave him and you time to cool off. I think youll be fine if you guys have a good talk and understand each other without fighting. Just be careful if you dont know a whole lot about his temper.
2007-11-11 12:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by chester123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out. Why is he looking at your pay check stubs? You just moved in with him and you fought for 8 hours. There is nothing to fight over for 8 hours.
You need to get out before he is mentally and physically abusive.
2007-11-11 12:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by Like being a DINK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's probably a control-freak. Why would he feel the need to check you pay stubs? Did you tell him that you want to see his? Perhaps you two did rush things by moving in together so soon before you really got to know him.
2007-11-11 12:47:31 · answer #5 · answered by randmthots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No hun. That was totally wrong of him to think he could do that. I mean if you were looking at your stubs and he asked if he could see them then thats ok. But if he said he needed to keep you in check...oh man would he have gotten my back hand for that comment lol. You did the right thing. Sounds like his true colors are out, and they won't go back and away.
2007-11-11 12:46:41 · answer #6 · answered by tarrna20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are not married, you do not need to show him any of your pay stubs. You must keep your finiances SEPARATE! Don't start paying for his stuff. Pay the bills such as utilities like he is your roommate and split everything in half. Don't fall for paying this and he pays for that. You only met him over 2 months. Be careful he might be using you for your money..
2007-11-11 12:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Charlene K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he shows you his paycheck stubs and you show him yours, and you both sit down as partners and pool your resources with a mutual goal in mind, then yes its okay. But if he is just trying to monitor and control you then that is not a healthy situation. Start writing capital I's and quit being so wishy washy. You are the captain of your ship - unless you give some asshole the steering wheel, that is.
2007-11-11 12:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by bluelotus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I definately think you need to get out of this relationship. If he has freaked after drinking he will definately do it again, and who knows if he will do something worse? You dont want to put yourself in a bad situation. And it seems like he is controling and possibly after your money?
Try to work it out, but always beware that who is to say that something this bad or worse wont happen the next time he drinks too much? But good for you that you walked out!
Good luck!!
2007-11-11 12:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by cutieepiee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moved in after 2 months? At 40, I would expect a little more hesitation. You should move on. This guy has problems, and the drinking is only going to get worse.
2007-11-11 12:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by Alice 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋