My sister has been engaged for 3 yrs to someone who treats her like crap. Hes lied,cheated,emotionally abused, and treats her with less respect than u would a flea. Now she knows this too as she has complanied about her fiance since almost day one and tells us all she plans on leaving him but never does. I can't remember her ever saying anything good about him. There is no children involved and she is the one with the money not him so these are not reasons. All I can think of is she is bothered by her age(36) and may feel she has to make this work.
2007-11-11 12:27:17 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
nobody wants to be alone
2007-11-11 12:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This may be ONE reason:
I think that she's afraid to be without him because it would mean she may be alone forever. It's harder for a 36 year old woman to find a partner than it is for a 36 year old man. Some women may not be able to have children after 40, and that really turns off some men from even GIVING a woman of that age a chance. I think you should console her. Let her know that not all men think that way, and she really can find someone else.
Also, She isn't stuck with the burden of thinking about staying together for the children that they don't have.
2007-11-11 12:36:59 · answer #2 · answered by Carmen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I wonder why some Women think they have to take crap, from a Man. Your Sister needs to get some self-esteem, or she will never be able to leave this guy. If she thinks she is too old to find herself someone else she should find out that some Woman are getting Married in their late thirty's, and are becoming Mothers, some in their Forty's or older. What she should also do is get some counseling for her to find out she is worth more than what this guy thinks she is worth. But, she has to be the one to get up the courage, and leave this guy, if not she will never be able to feel she is someone that deserves better, and should be treated as someone who is worthy of better things than she is getting.
2007-11-11 14:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear of being alone, fear of the unfamiliar and, worst of all, the unfounded and false hope that when they get married he will improve. He will not and may get worse. Being the one with the money she may be making excuses to herself about the situation making him feel less like a man than he should or, forgive me, she may enjoy being the one in financial control and be unwilling to give that up. In any case I am sure that you have done all you can and said all that you can without alienating her; and you don't want to risk that because she may need your support late and feel unable to ask for it if she does leave him. So.. this situation is in no way your fault, you are not responsible for your sister's choices and all you can usefully do is to build on your own emotional strengths and friendships so that when she does need you,you can be there for her .
2007-11-11 12:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by selina.evans 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your title question, here are the following reasons:
#1~~low/no self-confidence
#2~~dependency
#3~~no money
#4~~no education to get a good job to move out and live alone
#5~~kids
#6~~believes the abuser that they're not worthy of kindness/goodness in life
#7~~grew up with parents like spouse and herself
Hope this helps.
Cheers :)
2007-11-11 12:34:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is scared to be alone and look for someone else. After being engaged for 3 years and yet not moving on to marriage, it sounds like this relationship is really going no where in more ways than one. Yes, she may already feel no one will want her except for this one guy.
2007-11-11 13:12:23 · answer #6 · answered by happyindywoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SWEETHEART! I have been in a 23 year marriage and I feel like there is no way out. I have 3 children and its getting harder and harder to leave. Yes he has been abusive. *sigh* If she is not married to him , GET THE HELL OUT! The man that should marry her would put her first in everything. She is his universe. If this isn't the situation= you probably need to sit down and talk exreality. Use my story as an example.
2007-11-11 13:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by froglady972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true that she may feel she is too old to start over. When you have to start a new relationship, there is alot of time, effort and energy involved. Also many people have a fear of being alone and never finding anyone else who could be their "soulmate." She may be afraid to start over. Good luck.
2007-11-11 12:31:29 · answer #8 · answered by john s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she thinks she can';t get anyone else at her age. There is a stero type about women who aren't married by a certain age, having kids, ect. That's too bad because being engaged and having a way out is one thing but being legally married and committed fully is another especially if it's doomed from the start.
2007-11-11 12:30:21 · answer #9 · answered by lazycat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she doesn't think anyone else will want her and this is her last chance at marriage - regardless of age - it's about her low self-esteem. Someone people are manipulated by their partner into staying in the relationship as well.
2007-11-11 12:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a lot of people go with the whole thought of
"something/someone is better than nothing/no one."
I don't necessarily agree with it.. but that's how it is for many.
I have friends in the same situations as your family.. doesn't make any sense to me. Another thing is they don't want to give up and hope for the best that someone can change.. which rarely happens too.
2007-11-11 12:30:36 · answer #11 · answered by cs 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋