Do you consider this 'racist'?

Question

My best friend will not date black guys but yet she claims she is not racist. And its not even like she doesn't find them attractive either, she just wont date them. She even seen this guy at a bar once she thought was cute and wanted me to ask him if he was black or Puerto rican because if he was puerto rican she would have been interested. I just dont get how she can say shes not a racist because I consider a racist to be someone who descriminates people because of their race and thats what she's doing. She might have black friends and she might not say the n-word, but she's still racist in a way, right?

The point is she will not date them because they are black. That's racist and narrowminded

Answer 1

In a way yeah, she's racist. Any discrimination against someone's race is racist. That's really sad that your friend is like that. Maybe it has something to do with her family background. Whatever the reason, it's definetly not right and even you shouldn't be ok with it.
That whole thing with her wanting you to ask a cute guy is he puerto rican or black was ridiculous. Being black is defined as having ANY african ancestry. You should let her know that some hispanics consider themsleves black bc of their skin color. I'm dominican and I still refer to myself as a black person.

Answer 2

Well it depends. Some people choose not to date a certain race b/c their family would have a problem with it. In a perfect world people would be on vacation every other week and they would date anyone no matter what skin color they had, and all their friends and family would accept it.

But this is not a perfect world and perhaps they would rather that their kids have grandparents or aunts and uncles. Its not that they are racist but that they would rather keep their family together rather than a split over a guy, regardless if their family are right or wrong.

Answer 3

"She even seen this guy at a bar once she thought was cute and wanted me to ask him if he was black or Puerto rican because if he was puerto rican she would have been interested"

The fact that the race is the determining factor says it all. Perhaps she had a bad experience, though.

I have found that (in my case) black guys tend to be quite obsessive, calling/texting me 47859427 times and all that.... The same has gone for Puerto Ricans though.... so idk whats her deal.


You should bring it up, ask her why she would have been interested in that guy if he was puerto rican and not black, I wonder what she would say.

Answer 4

We tend to abuse the term 'racist' these days I think. Having said that, what I find strange about your friend is that she saw this guy at the bar and she wanted to know whether he was black or Puerto Rican? Um, HUH?! This tells me that her attraction to people is based on their background (race in this case), rather than personality. And so yes, I believe she has racist tendencies.

Answer 5

Considering that she sees someone and has to know what their heritage is before she decides... that's a little racist. I mean honestly. If she just saw a guy and didn't like how he looked, that would be one thing, but if you can't tell their heritage and need to ask them and based on that decide... well you get my point. If you're deciding on whether or not you'll associate with somebody based on their race, it's pretty racist.

Like... if I wasn't attracted to men with darkish skin, that would be one thing. But if I made a friend ask a really hot guy whether he was Armenian or Hispanic and then I decided to reject him because of his race... yeah.

Answer 6

Well, I'm a black woman, and I do not think its racist just because your friend will not date/marry a black man. As long as your friend respects blacks, has black friends, and doesnt believe that she is superior to blacks--her choice to not date black men does not make her "racist". She just may not have a preference for black men, which is fine.

Also, keep in mind that it would take a lot of strength & character for her to marry a black man and have black children--and maybe she is not strong enough to handle living that life. Her children would be considered black, and she would live her life encountering prejudice because her spouse & her kids are black. She would have to deal with family members who might be agianst her husband & children--so perhaps she just doesnt want to deal with all that family drama.
On top of that, she would have to have enough character to teach her kids to love themselves as black people..Maybe she is not strong enough to handle all that--which is fine. Trust me, there are enough white women jumping over hurdles to get to black men, we dont need any more, no offense ;) Good Day

Answer 7

It could be considered that. But would it be considered racist if she would not date an Asian guy or a Native American? But I have known girls who would not date a guy shorter than them, a guy who was losing his hair, a guy sitting in a wheelchair. I am sure you can find guys that won't date a girl who he considers fat, any girl that doesn't have blond hair, a girl that is flat-chested. Its not just a race thing, its what you find attractive. We are all prejudice in our own ways. Prejudice does not necessarily mean race, it can mean being discriminating on what you like and don't like.

Answer 8

its a matter of preference- people are entitled to have preferences of what attracts them and what doesn't. I don't date blacks either, yet I have some as friends and also some a relatives thru marriage- does that mean I am racist? of course not!

Answer 9

A lot of black guys will not date a white girl. Not racist - just not interested.

Answer 10

I'm the same way. I don't consider myself racist because I'll literally talk to anyone. Brown, white, blue, purple, whatever...but I'm not attracted to darker skin tones. Thats just not what I'm into. Its called preferences. Its not racist to not be attracted to certain races. Same with preferring someone with meat on their bones or preferring leaner people. Just whatever they like.