I have dated someone for nearly 5 years but i have known him for 6 years. We get along great and see eye to eye on most things. We are both getting to the age where we I feel we need to settle down soon and start a life together ( i am 26 and he is 31. I really don't want kids much after 30.) I feel like i can talk to him about anything but find hard when it comes to marriage because i dont want him to treat me any different. About a year ago someone at a party was saying how perfect for eachother we are and he got real quiet. I am not really sure how to go about talking to him about this. Any ideas or suggestions?
2007-11-11 11:08:21 · 12 answers · asked by Erin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After 5 years of dating you should be comfortable enough to talk with each other about most ANYTHING. Try an innocent comment such as, "I think you are perfect for me." It is not a trap question, he couldn't possibly be threatened by that. He will hopefully take it from there, and his comments or behavior should give you a sure sign as to where his heart is.
Hope that helps.
2007-11-11 11:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's quite amazing that you've been dating for 5 years and the subject of marriage or at least engagement has never come up. I would say you need to sit down and have a serious talk because after being together for that long you should be able to talk about anything including your future together. If he doesn't want to get married (or he's just "comfortable" with where you're at) you may want to decide of that's what you want or if you want more. But you definitely need to sit down and have an honest heart to heart,
2007-11-11 11:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Deny_Zoo29 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the only way you are going to find out is if you ask him and let him know exactly what you want. He is probably feeling shy about it cause he doesnt know what you want. And from personall experiance you need to sit him down one day and tell him how you feel about him and let him know where you would want your relationship to go with him and if he acts different about it than you know he isnt feeling you about some stuff.. i mean you said he is 31 its about time he should at least think about settling down and you are 26 i mean neither of you are getting younger..
2007-11-11 11:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Dodge, u need to grab life by the horns: go somewhere where there is just the 2 of you (so he won't be distracted) and talk it over. u can't just be living life on cruise control and be reactionary. Be proactiv and let him know how things really sit with you. if u have the chemistry u have with him, then don't be afraid to raise a couple of hairs in a good way. that'll also let you know if he has any plans for settling down and stuff.
good luck
2007-11-11 11:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ayo A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how you let that go for a year without confronting him.
I think you need to point blank ask him what he sees in the future for your relationship.
It's about time to define where this is going. You've been together for five years, I think it's time to talk about marriage, engagement or living together. If the relationship is not moving forward then there is a problem.
2007-11-11 11:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him about it. It's plain and simple. Just don't come on strongly with a loud voice. Take the quiet concerned voice. Then bring up the topic and see where it goes from there.
2007-11-11 11:13:31 · answer #6 · answered by Samson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is an outdated and obsolete social custom. The question is not about marriage, but about staying together. So just ask him, "Do you think we'll still be together when we are 50?". If he says yes, thats all you need to know, right?
2007-11-11 11:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a serious commitment. Love and communications is one of the keys for a long-lasting marriage. You need to tell him what your fears are.
2007-11-11 11:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bring it up casually
"you know...i've been thinking...and you dont have to agree with this but i really want to know...do you think we should get married?"
make sure hes not drinking anything so he cant spit it out if hes in shock.
then think of something to say if he says yes and if he says no. you'll probably just know what to say when the time comes
plus, if you really feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then you should definitly feel comftrable when you talk to him about it.
good luck
2007-11-11 11:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by mimi2424 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he got quiet because he was thinking about proposing?
Maybe not.
If you can talk to him....tell him that your body clock is ticking and you want some Rugrats...see what he says.
2007-11-11 11:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by Paul H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋