My husband and I are pregnant with our fourth child and have a set of 5 year old twins and a 10 year old son. Should they be in the room when I give birth or no?
2007-11-11 10:42:54 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The ten year old might understand it, but the five year olds might not get that even though Mommy's in a LOT of pain, birth is a miracle. I think it would be very scary for five year olds to see that much blood and struggling. Its beautiful that you're thinking of including them in the process. Maybe have your ten year old video tape the birth. It would give him something to do that might disconnect him from the situation if he gets upset, and you could watch it with the five year olds to show them where their new little brother or sister came from, but they would also see you safe and ok and know that it was just temporary pain. Congratulations on your fourth! Good luck :)
2007-11-11 10:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Patti 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think kids are much more resilient than people give them credit for.
You've obviously had the baby-talk with the 10 year old. (I hope. Lol) And I hope you've had the baby talk with the 5 year olds.
Only YOU know the maturity level of your kids. The 10 year old can make their own choice about viewing birth. This should be 100% their choice.
The 5 year olds should have a family friend assigned to each of them. When the child WANTS to go see mommy, they can. When the child wants to go in the hall (etc) and play with their toys, they can. And the adult assigned to that child will ensure the child is safe the entire time.
The 5 year olds may be curious to watch. And probably would understand more than people give them credit for. If they want to leave the room, they should have the right to do so w/o anyone making them stay. But if they want to see mommy or daddy, they should be permitted to do so. It should be an 'open door' policy for those kids.
Before the birth, explain to them that mommy will be yelling/shouting/crying/etc and that's 100% ok. Let them know that you're OK even though you're crying. Let them know that the crying is because you're happy to meet your new baby. They MUST be prepared for what is going to happen or they will be scared ___less.
Start talking to them NOW about what a birth looks like. Start asking them QUESTIONS to make sure they understand and remember.
The room will have lots of machines in there, watching mom and baby... taking time to explain it all to the kids will prepare them for what will happen.
Take the kids to the hospital labor ward- many hospitals let expecting families do walk-throughs with the little kids for this exact reason.
If you do not feel that your children are mature enough for that experience, don't hesitate to keep them in the waiting room.
But ultimately having an open-door policy for your kids is a great way to allow them to have the opportunity to see what they are ready to see. :)
2007-11-12 00:38:39 · answer #2 · answered by kerrisonr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 10 when my little brother was born. Honestly, I was bored out of my mind, but we didn't have any family and my parents didn't believe in babysitters so I had to go to the hospital. I think the 10 year old is ok to go, but maybe not the younger ones. For 1 thing, they will all be bored. I know i sure was. I spent the whole time looking out the window and listening to music or reading. (bring cd players or ipods for them...anything for them).
It also depends on the type of birth you are having too. If you are having a natural birth (no drugs or anything) then it'll probably scare the kids to see mom in pain. If you can, maybe leave them at home with family. You can tell them that they can have a sleepover at someone's house, and when they get back from their sleepover they will have a new little sibling!
hope this helped!
2007-11-12 01:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by sweetjadedtears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the 10 year old if he would like to be in the room but I wouldn't let the 5 year old twins be in there. They most likely would not understand and it would probably freak them out. Also they could be a distraction for you, your significant other, or the medical professionals. Have grandma or grandpa take care of them when the time comes.
2007-11-11 18:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tryin to Liv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow did you say your husband was pregnant? lol
you know thats only a question that you an answer. Do they feel comfortable being there? they have programs on the dicovery health chanel like special dilivery. Perhaps they can watch that with you and see how they react to it. I think however that I would feel a little uncomfortable haveing a son in the room. I would feel better about having a daughter there. This might make your son feel weird. I guess it depends on if you think they are ready.
2007-11-11 19:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God no.....they don't need to see that! You could scar them for life....I saw a child birth film in health class when I was 16 and it totally grossed me out. Can't imagine if I'd seen a real birth and was only 5 or 10!!
2007-11-11 19:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's your choice, my 5 year old was too sensitive to be in the room when I gave birth. He was very upset that I was in pain so we kept him out of the room.
I don't think it's something kids really want to see...most people don't really want to see it=)
However, I know families that have chosen to have their children in the room with them and they believed that it was a positive experience.
You know your children best, so you know what is best for them.
2007-11-11 18:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by paganmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, to them that is a traumatic and scary experience, especially the five year olds.....it's not the miracle of birth to them, it's watching a bloody/goop covered baby get pushed out of your mother's private area. To them that isn't a great experience.
2007-11-11 18:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be traumatizing for them to see you in pain like that. My sister couldn't even stand watching me give birth and she was 27. Maybe they could come in right after the baby comes out or be in the room and then leave when you actually have to push. I understand that you want to share the experience but they don't have to be in there the whole time to feel like they were part of it. JMO =)
2007-11-11 18:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by tarabug 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Sure.
I was five when I saw my brother being born and i thought it was just the neatest thing.
They should see that birth isn't "gross" "disgusting" or "dirty" but a special thing that is completely natural and makes people happy.
2007-11-11 19:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋