ok so i like this guy and hes 16 years older than me...... at first i thought wed have nothing in common but we REALLY do and we REALLY like eachother..... however we dont think either of our families would accept us. we have loads in common and can talk 4 HOURS alost every day. but is it wrong? do u think its stupid? or could ever work? thanx for your opinion xxxxx
2007-11-11 10:08:15 · 7 answers · asked by tamissmiling 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How old is he? Because if he's 29 and you're 13, there's a problem. If he's 40 and you're 24, it's a little better. If you KNOW he's not using you for your body, and you know it's not illegal (i.e. you're both above 18) then make sure you love him and go for it. I mean, yes society will frown on it, and if you want to make it a long term thing or have his children, you'll have a tough time, but if he's a good companion, you should go however you want to. Are you attracted to him, though? Because if not, then maybe you should just be friends... AND make sure that after the 4 hour talks you'll have more to talk about. If you're just talking to seduce each other, then it shouldn't become a relationship. If you're talking to each other and revealing your souls, if you feel like he understands you, then yes, go for it.
There could be problems though... I mean make sure he doesn't act condescending to you. You may ignore it now because you think he knows better than you, but that could get in the way. Make sure he's not moving faster than you're ready to. Make sure he's not using for you for your body! I know I've already said this, but make sure he's a nice guy!
2007-11-11 10:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Jamie 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The older guy ALWAYS but always knows/realizes how young you are... (and you may hear him say/admit this, by complimenting you that you seem 'so mature' -- or words indicating some sort of surprise -- which is as condescending a comment a man can ever make, if you're paying attention). The younger woman always, but always likes to think she's wise, seasoned beyond her years -- and is tired/etc. of guys her age anyhow...
So the older guy can take advantage of the many, many, many experiences you have yet to have & things that are cliche to a man of 30+ are ALL NEW to you. There's a TON of difference -- and you should understand first, and think "why can't this guy find a woman his own age?" or better, "why don't women his age, bother with this guy?"... and even better... "if YOU were 30-ish, would you bother with this guy?". He's looking for virgin territory, and he knows he can dominate you in 100s of aspects of life, that you don't even know exist yet.
My advice? Let the guy spend some money on you, at his age he shouldn't be lazy or has no excuses for how to do the Right Thing by dating and going out of his way, etc. (unless he's either a loser, or thinks you're easier to handle, because of your age). Really, I'd recommend that you leave him alone. Especially if you're under 28 yrs old... and don't have any kids (yet). Live life at your pace, not someone that's already had DECADES more time, than you.
2007-11-11 15:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u have 2 look at the picture in a long term perspective. i.e. what r u doing in 5 yrs or 10 yrs. I just got out of a relationship like that i knew it was gonna b short.we went 2gether for 3 yrs. i'm 43 and jenny is 24. we fell apart. maybe it was not meant to be. but have swing at it. use good judgement. keep your head up. most of all have fun. u will never get another kick at the ball. every thing you do you only do once in your life.
2007-11-11 10:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it can work --- of course you both need to be over at least 20 --- the age gap is not a problem if you both care for each other ---- i am in the same situation and it my family will have to accept her --- best wishes
2007-11-11 10:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Can it turn out badly?
Yes.
Is it okay for people?
Probably not for most.
Is it okay for you?
Possibly.
Will people disagree and think it's gross?
Yes. You'll just have to get over that.
Should you go for it?
That's something you'll have to decide for yourself.
2007-11-11 10:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Julie D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my ex of 6 years was 21 years older than me! i'm no trophy and he's no goldmine, so it wasn't about either of those things. we just loved each other. it went fine.
i just met someone who is only 9 years my senior and got engaged.
2007-11-11 10:16:00 · answer #6 · answered by Loon-A-TiK 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
what are your ages?
2007-11-11 10:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋