early marriage-catholics only please?

Question

i am getting married when i turn 18. my boyfriend wil be 19 when we get married. is it ok if we get married by a justice of the peace and renew our vows in a big ceremony in a church later? the only people who will be attending the first ceremony are his parents and cousin to serve as witnesses.

i dont care who answers but i think a catholic would have the best answer

my boyfriend and i decided on our own when and where we were going to get married.

Answer 1

Why not have a small ceremony with a priest? That way you can also renew your vows later if you like, but the marriage will be blessed right from the start, and if you marry that young, any extra help will be good for your peace of mind for your future.

Answer 2

Technically, if you are Catholic, you should NOT have a civil ceremony and consider yourself married because the Catholic Church does not recognize civil unions. You could still have a church ceremony later, but most priests would not let you have a big wedding because you would be breaking the rules. You'd have to have a little, private rite.

You see, marriage is a holy Sacrament in the Catholic Church, and proper preparation must be done for the couple to enter a valid marriage.

If you are not Catholic and you were married in a civil ceremony (which most protestant denominations recognize because they don't consider marriage a sacrament), then you could probably have a big protestant wedding later.

So, what's the rush? Why not just wait 2-3 extra months and have the one big ceremony when you turn 18 instead of the two-step thing? Or, as somebody else suggested above, instead of a small JP service, why not have the Catholic priest give you the small marriage ceremony with just your boyfriend's parents and cousin and then you can have a big wedding later without qualms?

Answer 3

It sounds like what you're really asking is if you are married in a civil ceremony now, then renew your vows in a Catholic church later, is it the same thing as if you were married in the Church. If that's the case, I would say no. A renewal of vows is just that. It is not a marriage ceremony. The only way for the marriage to be recognized by the Catholic Church is for the actual Sacrament of Marriage to be performed in the Church by a priest or deacon.

Answer 4

I am a practicing Catholic. I was baptised, recieved holy eucharist, confimrmed and married in the Catholic church.
Marriage for a Catholic is a Holy Sacrament. The most conventional functional definition of a sacrament is that it is an outward sign, instituted by Christ, that conveys an inward, spiritual grace through Christ.
You will not be able to renew your vows, because the church will not recognize your marriage. You would have to seek a convalidation of you marraige, which would be like renewing vows, but usually they do not let you use your own wording. check this out:
http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0604.asp
Also, the church has wedding prep functions. We went to an engaged encounter weekend and learned so much and became even closer.

My advice would be to go to the priest or monsignor of your parish and explain to him your situation. You may be able to celebrate your nuptials at a saturday evening mass.
What ever the case, try to find a way to make a church wedding work. I am so happy I had a full mass on my wedding day, you deserve the same.

congratulations on being in love!

St.Monica's Catholic Church 10/08/05
http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w104/bayleenorman/02130303.jpg

Answer 5

Hi. I must agree with most of the others.

Why are YOUR parents not coming to the first ceremony? It sounds to me like religion is important to you (as it is to me), so why not just get married IN THE CHURCH by the priest the first time? Why the do-over?

If you don't have lots of money....so what. Have a small ceremony and then go out to dinner after. Simple as that!

If you to want to celebrate down the road a ways with a renewal of vows ceremony, that is acceptable too!

However, why don't you call and speak with your priest now to see how he feels about renewal of vows ceremonies. I don't think many go for a big "hoopla" after the couple are already married! My husband and I did a renewal of vows for our 25th....but it was very low-key....a few readings...he spoke...that was it!

I would go right to the source....your priest...and ask him this question. Good luck!

Answer 6

It will possibly depend on the Pastor at your Church.

Your marriage may not be recognized within the Church if the Pastor is old fashioned. It may prevent you from taking Communion at Mass, since you will sort of be living in Sin. (Not MY opinion, just what I have heard from old fashioned Priests)

Your ceremony in the future will be a sort of Blessing of the marriage which is different from a wedding in many ways. I forget what it's called.

BEFORE you go ahead and make your plans, I suggest you first sit down and talk about how important your faith is to you both. Then talk to the Pastor at your church to see what he advises. The important thing is that you don't compromise your faith... whatever that may be. And that you and your future hubby are in agreement.

I would not be prudent if I didn't also suggest that you wait a little longer to get married. I am not saying that he is the wrong guy or that you will not be together, just that it is really helpful for your marriage to live some of your adult life before getting married. You will learn so much between now and the age of 25. You won't even recognize yourself.

Also , the pre-cana classes that you take before getting married in a Catholic Church are also helpful. We went to those classes. They were not judgemental or scary or anything. They just help open some important lines of communication so that you can be sure to enter into marriage with a clear head.

Good luck in whatever you decide, and please at least consider talking to your Pastor before you make your decision.

Answer 7

I'm Catholic and I personally would be married by a priest in a private ceremony right off the bat. This would be the proper way to do it. You can always have a larger celebration, destination wedding, or formal ceremony to renew your vows at a later date. But I agree that I would also want my marriage blessed from the start. I feel that would be the correct thing to do from a religious standpoint. According to our beliefs, a courthouse wedding, although legal, is not the sacrament of marriage in God's eyes.

Answer 8

You are too young. True love can always wait a few more years.
Give yourselves a chance to experience some independence so when you aren't on your own, you will be able to know what it was like the other way. My husband and I met at 18 and 19 years old and dated for 2 years before getting engaged. We then had a 18 month long engagement before having our ceremony. We then got pregnant on our honeymoon. That is one of the hazards of being catholic, as we know. We now have three beautiful children and are immensely happy but I am glad that we waited because having our first at 23 years old was young enough.

Answer 9

I was raised catholic, but am currently not practicing. That being said, in the Catholic faith, in the eyes of God you are not married until a priest marries you. So, if you live to gether after the "legal" wedding you will be living in sin. That being said; you are your own person and need to weigh your beliefs against what you have been told growing up.
Above all....I would say please, please wait. You will be suprised at what a different person you and your fiance will become in the next five years and you may find that you are not compatible. Getting married does not freeze time or your emotional maturity and does not ensure you will be together forever. If you are truly in love and want to be together for the rest of your lives wait a few years. What does it matter the timeline of your entire life. Get out, see the world, get educated, live on your own for a while, and meet people. Become your own person before taking on the resposibility of another person.

Answer 10

It seems you are deferring to his parents' wish in the matter of civil ceremony. Nothing wrong with that or other small adjustments and concessions you have to make a marriage work and last. But as a Catholic you should get married in the Church first and then do the civil ceremony.