Help, ex gf situation..thx?

Question

my ex and i havent spoke in a year, recently she had called me crying because her bf had cheated on her.

everyday now she texts me asking how im doing and sending me pic messages. which is wierd because we havent spoke in such a long time. I still love her and all and i havent been in a relationship since we broke up so im confused if i should get back with her or not.

two days ago she had called me saying she wanted me to visit her, my gut feeling is saying yeah go, but my mind is telling me no and something bad might happen.

What would you do?? and What do you think about the situation??

Thank You very much!!

Answer 1

You're going to be her rebound, might as well have fun with it but keep it physical

Answer 2

You dont know what you've got til its gone.

What a psycho she is?! First of all, you seem like a nice guy, and I would bet she was the one that broke it off with you a year ago. You need to stay in control. She is just using you. I know its hard, but follow your head. She is a "relationship jumper". She is terribly insecure, and cant seem to be alone. She MUST have a bf at all times. So, she jumps and jumps from relationship to relationship before the bed can even cool down. I understand you still love her, but trust me, so does she. She is USING YOUR EMOTIONS AGAINST YOU. Nice guys always lose. You know why? Because once you just date her, and make yourself so available to her, she is going to want to move on. If you jump into things with her right now, she will get bored.

If you want a lasting relationship with this girl, you cannot jump into it right now. As a matter of fact, you need to play the field a little bit, and see what else is out there. You havent dated ANYONE since her. The last thing you want to do is make yourself available.

Look at it this way. You bake a batch of cookies. The only one who is going to eat the cookies is you. You eat a couple the first day, a couple the second, maybe one the third, but by the fourth, you really dont feel like cookies anymore.

Had they ran out of stuff at the cookie store, and you were never able to get the cookies, you would appreciate the cookies that much more when you FINALLY get to eat them.

Catch my drift?

If you are seeing someone else, just you wait and see how she reacts.

Answer 3

I had a similar situation that lasted for 5 years total (we dated, broke up, dated, broke up, dated broke up...).

I would say first of all that you need to figure out why you broke up. Did he dump you? Did you dump her? Did you guys just decide to go your separate ways and date other people?

If she broke up with you because she wanted to date someone else then you need to be cautious because right now she is on the rebound and if you go back to her then it gives her a quick jump into a new relationship until she finds something better.

If you broke up with her then maybe she still loves you as well and wants to try things again. However she is still on the rebound.

My suggestion is that you be her friend and nothing more for a little while to give her time to get over her new ex bf. Explain to her that you don't want to rush into anything just yet because she is in such a trying period of her life in which she has to recover from a heartache. If she really cares about you then she will wait for you to be ready. If she moves on to someone else then you know that you would have been wasting your time getting back with her. If she waits then maybe she really does love you and things could work out. Give her time to get over this guy and make sure she is ready before committing to a relationship with her again or one or both of you will get hurt.

Answer 4

i usually say that what was in the past should stay in the past..
even if she still had feelings for you..it's obvious that she was able to move on...but now..there's a problem..her bf is cheating on her..she has no one available around her...but then she remembers you..-maybe she didn't trust anyone except you and that's why she called you that night-..but then she said to herself it would be perfect if she could make her bf jealous ..with you..or she dosen't want to look bad and wants to proove that she dosen't need to wait much till she finds a new bf..
anyway..don't bring a subject such as..going back together..or if that happens from her part..tell her that everything you can still be is good friends.
if none of the above turns out to be true and she only wants a friend..you can be there for her..but try not to get involved more than u already are..cos it's gonna hurt:(.

Answer 5

Hi there,
If this was me, I would follow my mind. Humans tend to follow the heart a lot and than we end up in a big mess. Think, if she is doing this with you, whilst still going out with her present boyfriend, can you really trust this girl. Honey, I know you love her and you have not gone with another since you two broke up, but if she can do this to her boyfriend who she is still committed to, she can do this with you too. Forget her, there are many more fish's in the Sea. My personal advise would be for you to block her off so that she can no longer contact you or text you. Good Luck, and what ever you do, don't go see her. She is using you to get back at her boyfriend.
Simbha

Answer 6

Personally I'd sleep with her and then cheat on her just to prove a point, but that really wont help much. So this is what you should do, if you really think you still like her tell her what you feel. If you feel awkward saying what you feel wait a couple of weeks to see if she wants to get back together too. In the end I trust that you'll make the right decision

Answer 7

In situations like these, it's very helpful to have self-control. I say you go over there sometime. But, if she tries to do soemthing that you don't think you should, you have to stop her because you are the guy. I think all she really wants right now is a good friend who is there for her and she is very sad right now, just as every girl would be if they found out their guy was cheating on them. Just be a friend and if she tries to do something, you're better off stopping her because she is emotional and doesn't know what she wants right now. Even if she says she does, she still doesn't.

Answer 8

She is missing having someone special in her life and she may pull the whole "your such a great friend" card on you. I say just casually text her but don't make any big efforts to come visit her, because you may just become her rebound boy

Answer 9

i dont think her feelings for you are still the same since she just recently broke up w her bf and hasnt talked to you for quite a long time. she's just feeling hurt and lonely and wants to have someone to be with and could recover her broken heart. i bet she still loves her ex bf... but anyway that's just how i feel about the situation. but there's nothing wrong with you going to visit her, if you want to make her feel better. it's just not fair for you. but if you care enough for her you wouldnt mind getting hurt as long as she feels better having you around. but take your time when considering whether to get back together, make sure she is ready and she honestly loves you and all that. you dont deserve to get hurt again over her

Answer 10

Your ex seems pretty stupid to me (no offense, since you still have feelings for her), but it seems to me that she wants to keep her options open now. She believes that she can do whatever she wants with you. Perhaps she knows that you still have feelings for her. It seems that she's using you. Go with your gut, or tell her what you feel. You need to ask her why she's doing these things, and if she doesn't answer or she says, "cause I feel like it" or "Cause I need someone to talk to", she's going through a phase.

After she finds another guy, she'll completely forget about you. Seriously, go with your gut on this one.

Answer 11

it rather is ill and he desires to end the relationship. His ex is pleased with this? Thats only ill. She ought to have incredibly low self-worth to think of its okay to be somebody's sideline chick. She ought to be attentive to she merits greater acceptable than that. he's a jerk for permitting this habit. yet he would not want to break his modern-day gf? Yeah good. How does he think of she's gonna experience whilst she exhibits out the fact? She's gonna throw a occasion? i think of not! She's gonna be pissed on the undeniable fact that she had no say so in this twisted affair. he's sexin the ex and his modern-day....HELLOOOOO!!!! can we are saying ailments and STD's waiting to ensue? however the undesirable gf would not additionally be attentive to! Thats completely not truthful to her she ought to have a say in wether she desires to handle this relationship or not. He desires to come back clean and rapid. considering the fact that he desires to work out and have intercourse along with his ex lots then why don't you be along with her? yet atleast he desires to guy up and tell his modern-day gf howdy!