Well we have never been close since there is a 13 year age gap between us, I find it very difficult to talk to her about ANYTHING! she doesn't live with me but comes to the family home often, the trouble is she doesn't come to chat to us she comes and just sits there staring at the walls or on the phone. I have pulled her on it many times and she just changes the subject so I told her she was ignorant if she wants to stare at walls do that in your own home.
She is always telling me things and then saying I cant tell anyone and makes me uncomfortable around the people I cant tell espicially when they ask about her, I told her if its a secret then don't tell me either because its not nice lying to my other siblings.
This isn't even the half of it but hopefully you get the jist
I have tried talking to her but it goes in one ear and out the other, and it has got to the point where looking at her boils my blood.
Any suggestions what I can try next?
2007-11-11 06:36:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The odd thing is the things she says I cant tell are silly, for example she brought a flat and toold me I couldn't tell my aunts and my other sister didn't know until months after. It's not like she can hide property!!!
2007-11-11 06:53:22 · update #1
Also you should probably know I don't live with my dad and my mum passed away 2 yrs ago, it's just me and my brother in the family home
2007-11-11 06:54:42 · update #2
Well, I think there you have a great opportunity.
Next time you have that chance, go away with her, try getting out of the house, wherever you want, to the park, to do some shopping, anywhere and while you are there, try a different approach with her, just be natural.
Who knows you just may enjoy talking with your sister and find some new things in common with her.
2007-11-12 15:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to your parents about it? Your parents can either give you advice, or take care of the situation. If you don't own the house, you can't tell her what she can and can't do in the house. I know it sucks hearing that, but it's true. Sisters have a built in trust, so as hard as it is, when she confides in you to keep a secret, you should do so. If people ask about her, just tell them to talk to her. That's not a lie. You're being honest about not wanting to tell them something. Hope this helps!!!
2007-11-11 14:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister is just visiting as an investment... keeping the support of your parents by wasting time there.
This is about boundaries. When your sister shows up, you make yourself scarce. Quit being user-friendly.
Tell her you are not a priest and this is not a confessional!
If she tells you some BS secret, start using it against her... bring it up at the dinner table and make a joke of it.
2007-11-11 14:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like your sister is playing mind games.. she also sound very immature id just ignore her tell her to keep her secrets to herself coz u dont want to know why should u be made to feel like that. and the only other option to what u should do is IGNORE HER talking to her obviously hasnt worked so there not much more u can do. Let her get on with her life just dont let her drag u into things. or play mind games its not fair on you or your siblings.
2007-11-11 14:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by stacy.minshull 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you need to tell her that you don't want to know anything about her or her life that you can discuss with anyone else. This makes things awkward and you aren't going to keep secrets anymore. She might get mad, but hey she'll stay at her home then.
2007-11-15 14:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she needs some help, if the things she tells you get really bad at least tell your siblings and see if they can hash things out before you go running to the parents...but don't talk to her directly that always seems to end in a fight at my house...give her respect even if its hard...they still like to feel more mature
2007-11-11 14:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
ehhhhhhh, that's kinda tough
well, the only thing i can suggest is maybe, u should just start ignoring her and maybe, just maybe, she might come to u
2007-11-11 14:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by zestful12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find something else to do when she drops by so you dont have to deal with her.
2007-11-11 14:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing i can tell you is good luck
2007-11-11 14:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ilovemy3kids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋