How old is too old to take your son into the women's locker room with you?

Question

My son turned 5 in late Aug., however he's the size of a 6-7 yr old. While rushing him and my 14 mo. old daughter to swim class, and older woman shouted in my direction, "NO! NO boys in here, get the boy out of here!" My husband can't take him in the men's locker room, and I'm afraid he'll be scared by himself (based on several clues I've seen)....what shoudl I do? The YMCA has no policy on a ge or height range for kids in locker roms with parents.

FYi, My husband can't take my son because he ISN"T there- he's at work, sorry I wasn't more specific. it' s just me and my 2 kids.

Along the same lines, would a father be posed with the same question if he brought his daughter in? Is there a hint of a double standard here? Again, assuming she's 5, not 8 or 9.

one last thing- this YMCA does NOT have a family restroom/changing area, and the only way to the pool is thru the locker rooms.

Answer 1

There's definitely a double standard. I wouldn't think twice if I saw a woman take her son into the locker room, but I would immediately think something was up if a man took his daughter into one. If I were you, I'd ask your YMCA about it. Since they have no policy against it, you're under no obligation to keep your son out of the locker room. However, asking about installing a family changing room certainly wouldn't hurt. Perhaps if they knew there was a real need for one, they'd look into getting one. As for how old is too old, I'd say it's when the kid starts giggling. :) The woman, while I see her point, was completely out of line. There's no way I'd leave my 5 year old son by himself at the Y. What would she have you do?

Answer 2

WHY can't your husband take him to the locker room? That doesn't make sense at all. I would say 7 and under is ok. If the YMCA has no policies then it shouldn't be a problem. I see boys in the locker room that are as big as a 10 year old. I think that is a little too old. Take him into a big stall with you. All you are doing is putting on his clothes after swimming or something. Not like you are going to be long and IGNORE the other women in there. I NEVER shower naked when at the pool anyways. I leave my bathing suit on to rinse off the chlorine off my bathing suit. I have no problem with taking my son into the women's locker room if I go swimming alone with him. Usually big centres like that have a family room to change and shower. Go in there instead. I go to the family room with my son. Or if there isn't a family room then go into the ladies room. I still Don't understand why your husband cannot take him in there? He is a boy right?

Answer 3

5

Answer 4

the YMCA has a family area to take your child in..there are the only women and then only men and then family locker rooms..so take him in the family locker room...if there is not..then take him in the bathroom with you...he is only 5 NOT 15!! there is a big difference! So if another woman says that to you then tell her to step out and watch your son while you get dressed! Thats what I would do..but like I said the YMCA at in Hinesville Ga. had a family bathroom....

Answer 5

First of all I am a guy.
The gym I go to has a sign posted at the entrance to the guys locker room stating that you can not take a daughter who is older then 2 into a guys locker room. I think that, that is reasonable.
Another thing you can try doing is, maybe suggesting that the YMCA maybe open up some Family restrooms. I know a lot of gyms usually have them. Besides it is a family place you're going to.

Answer 6

My son is 6 1/2 and I still take him into the women's locker rooms and bathrooms with me. I have no intention of stopping in the near future. I don't give a crap what the age is - I am more concerned with my child's safety. Until the world invents a family restroom/locker room everywhere, sorry people, my son's coming with me!

I would have either ignored that lady that yelled at you or told her he just turned 5 and go right in and go about your business. What a jerk.

Answer 7

If the YMCA does not have a policy about age, then just ignore the woman and continue to take your son with you.Better safe than sorry . I am curious why can't your husband take him in the men's locker room? That seems a little bit strange to me.

Answer 8

My son is big for his age, he is 10, I still occasionally take him in a womens toilet if we are in a busy place, airport etc, I cannot bear to think of something happening to him in a male toilet with me waiting outside, the ymca should provide family changing rooms and if not then they should have a room where you are able to change together, I went to the jcc near me for a year and they did have a family room, unfortunately you need to wait till the family before you is done before you can use it but it is a start, if no-one speaks up about this issue(and I do believe it is a problem) then nothing will be done, with the perverts out there today we need to be sure our kids are safe.Do what you have to do, you are in the right.

Answer 9

I think most swimming places say no boys over the age of 7 to go in the ladies changing rooms. Just ignore what that woman says as well. If it were her son would she rather have her son with her or leave him in a male changing room on his own!!! (You cant trust anyone nowadays).

Answer 10

Tricky. Your first priority is safety. Your second priority is a sense of modesty. Your third priority is a matter of law. Check with local laws. Plan ahead. Do what you have to do. There is a federal law regarding being in the wrong public facility. Men cannot go into a woman's facility and vice versa. When it comes to children, the law is not enforced because of necessity and being reasonable. A man has to take an infant daughter to the men's room. A woman has to take an infant boy into the ladies room. As the child ages and matures, it gets to an area of question.

Use your own best judgement. Do not disregard others. Don't be bullied. Try to plan ahead as much as possible. Good luck!