Well, my mom is 4 months pregnant. My parents and I all have a very close relationship--but ever since I found out about the pregnancy, it seems that my mom and I are kinda distant from each other. On top of that, my dad and I never do the things we used to do (like hiking and cycling), because he’s to busy tending to my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m overly happy for them and I can’t wait for a baby brother or sister (I’m an only child for now), but it seems like my relationship with my parents is on hold. What can I do to be more involved with my mom, dad and the pregnancy? She keeps asking me to come with her to the doctor’s office so I can be with her and see an ultrasound of the baby. Do you think going with her to the doctor’s office would be a good start in involving myself with my parents and the pregnancy?
2007-11-11 05:50:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, sorry. I'm 13 now, but I'll be 14 in December.
2007-11-11 05:56:20 · update #1
Yes, go with her. And keep in mind pregnant womens hormones are running wild so they get weird sometimes. Do some reading on what pregnant women go thru, it might help you understand what shes going through. Ask her what you can do to help out. Also tell your dad you know he is busy but that you miss the things you used to do together. Tell him you dont want to lose that closeness you have. Ask him too what you can do to help him and your mother while shes pregnant because you want to be part of it.
2007-11-11 05:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancies at an advanced age (late 30s, early 40s) carry a whole range of potential hangups and risks, which may be why everyone is so absorbed in this.
By all means, go with your mom to the doctor's office to both support her and educate yourself. Start reading about pregnancies on-line. There is a wealth of information out there. For example, there is a form of diabetes that shows up during pregnancies, so you may be able to remove the wrong foods from the household.
When the little darlin' arrives, there is a whole new level of education coming, so you might as well prepare yourself about that. If you have any friends with a baby in the house, you might avail yourself of their expertise... get some training in baby maintenance so you will better sleep through the night after the kid comes home.
A 13-year age difference is fairly wide. You will be heading to college in 5 years... about the time the kid actually starts becoming fun.
One other thing... you need to take care not to get stuck as the one and only default babysitter. You don't want to become too user-friendly because that stands to really put a crimper in your social life. I would suggest that you start looking for some good extracurricular activities to become involved in during the next couple of years.
2007-11-11 06:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell your parents what you are feeling--just the way you've told us? Explain to them both that while you are excited you're also feeling a bit left out. Remind them that you still need attention, love and support.
It is very likely that they don't even realise you are feeling this way. They are probably distracted by the thoughts, worries and preperations of the pregnancy.
Once you speak with them candidly about your feelings, and remember to assure them that you are on board with them and support them as much as you want to be supported, then make sure you do go to any doctor appointments that you can with your mom.
Going to these appointments will help you to, not only support her, but it will be the begining of your bonding with your new little brother or sister.
Offering to help your mom and being solicitous in your support will go a long ways toward making you an integral part of your new siblings arrival. This should help you to feel less left out.
When the baby arrives your mom will be wiped out both mentally and physically. Gentle thoughtful actions will be what she needs during this time.
It takes a few weeks to start feeling like a person again once you've had a baby. During this time, try not to expect too much in the way of energy from her and try not to be hurt if she gives you less attention than ever.
She will bounce back, and slowly, over time and as the baby gets bigger and starts sleeping through the night, your mom should get back to her regular self.
You are in a very cool time in your life. This is a most excellent way of learning what it means to bring forth a new life, in all of its glaring reality.
These will be good experiences for you to go through. I am sure you will learn a lot.
Remember that your parents are just people trying to do the best they can. You sound like a nice guy, I wish you luck and happiness.
2007-11-11 13:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by TAP 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going to the dr's office might be a little awkward, but you could ask your mom how it goes and look at the ultrasound picture she brings home. Honestly, your relationship with your parents will probably change a little. New babies need constant attention and it can be very, very exhausting for parents. When the baby comes, do your best to help your parents with chores around the house, and maybe you could help them decorate the nursery now. Also, if you feel like you need a little time alone with your parents, ask. Maybe you could ask your dad if you and him could do something along for an hour each week (maybe get lunch or dinner or go for a bike ride). Anyway, they still love you with all their heart. All of you are going to have to adapt to having a new little person around. Best of luck!
2007-11-11 05:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go if invited at 13..they didn't have ultrasound back in my day anyways. You could just look at the ultrasound picture, but if you decide to go you get to hear your siblings heartbeat. Moms and dads usually get the chance to hear their child's heartbeat but not always brothers and sisters. If your invited and want to go there is nothing really to be scared about. You lived in the same place for nine months along time ago although I doubt you remember what it sounded like. : )
Things will change...they did when you were born too it's just part of life and nothing that has to looked at negatively. Look at the good things in life.
2007-11-11 06:17:28 · answer #5 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definetly go! being the only child and having a baby on the way, is hard. having a new baby in the family is going to change everything. but that doesent mean your relationship with your parents is going to go away. it will be different, but they wont love you any different. just show them that you are excited and that you want to be involved with your moms pregnancy.
2007-11-11 06:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by fashnchck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely should be involved in this process. This is your brother/sister we're talking about. You will be a role model for him/her in spite of the large age difference. You will be a great influence, and should be as involved as you can be. Your parents need you right now, even more so than before. Help them and support them as much as you can!
2007-11-11 05:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by Big J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes thats what shes trying to do...but first man..u gotta say ur age so ppl can have an idea of how to help u..r u 5? 10? or 23?
2007-11-11 05:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋