Teenagers and stammering??

Question

Okay, I'm kinda worried about my wee brother, who's 13. He's gone through a lot in the last year or so, I suspect he's been bullied at school although he hasn't said anything and i don't want to press him about it. He's gone through a rebellious stage which is totally normal for a teenager, and that kinda relaxed me a bit. However, the last time I went back and saw him (I'm at uni at the other end of the country) he'd started to be really withdrawn and has also started to stammer. If you try and talk to him he pretends everything is "fine" and becomes all happy smiley. I know teenagers go through wierd phases but it's so out of character it's worrying me. He had to go to anger management classes when he was 11 'cause he gets really out of control, and seems to get really down sometimes, and I mean down. I don't know what to do as I'm so far away and I just wondered if anyone has had a similar experience??

Also thought I should mention that when I mentioned the stammering to my parents they just said "oh yeah, he's started that" and didn't really seem too bothered?? But my family aren't too close in that way and I was the only one my brother used to talk to openly.

Answer 1

Your best source for information on stuttering/stammering is www.stutteringhelp.org. Another reputable site is http://stammeringcentre.org. Check them both out.

Some helpful blogs are http://stutteringhelp-bud.blogspot.com/ and http://notesonstuttering.blogspot.com/

You can join this MySpace group to meet other people who stutter http://groups.myspace.com/stutteringfoundation

Answer 2

Hello,

Well, stammering is not uncommon and it affects males more than females, and the onset is often in youth. It's not necessary to have any psychological problem to get a stammer, and once established it tends to be self-reinforcing, 'cos you worry about whether you're going to stammer again, so you do, (I used to have one).

There are very reputable organizations, the British Stammering Association is good, http://www.stammering.org/teenagers.html

However, it seems like your brother has other mental upset problems, - I don't think a stammer is a reason to be withdrawn or 'out of control' or 'really down, ' although I agree it's difficult to be sure how much of this is down to normal teenage emotional upset.

I think you yourself might be feeling worse, because you're so far away from where he is, and therefore not able to influence things as much as you might like. It seems clear that he is resistant to 'opening up' to you, - perhaps your gender is relevant to him at this age, - but it is difficult to feel that he would be able to open up any more readily to a stranger of whichever sex.

It does not sound as if his mum and dad are overly concerned, which on the one hand is disappointing, whilst on the other hand your brother is presumably not under heavy pressure from them to get rid of it, - which can be just another worsening stressor, (I remember my mum saying to me, "why can you not be like other boys," which was very hurtful).

You say he 'had to' go to anger management classes when he was 11, - that suggests he was sent by a school or a court authority. Are they still interested in him and his welfare, I wonder ?

There isn't a really good answer to this or you would have thought of it by now, but a way into his problem might be to suggest to him that you are really worried that things are not as 'fine' as he says they are.

Hope this is of some help. Belliger (retired UK GP)

Answer 3

there could be lots of reasons for your brothers changes. Childhood to manhood is a difficult transition to make , however, my advice is always trust youre gut instincts they are usually right. You feel there is something wrong, so stick with that theory. Kids develop speech problems a lot, my son has a lisp and it got so much better, then all of a sudden out the blue it got so bad, this was an underlying emotional problem that caused it to get worse. You have to try to find out what is going on inside his head, I know you are at Uni, but is it possible for him to stay with you for a few weeks over the Christmas period or for you and him to have lots of alone time over this period. You need to try to be a bit more assertive with him but calm, and do not take no for an answer here. Reassure him that anything he says to you is in confidence unless you think he poses a risk to himself or others.(which I am sure he doesn't),you do need to get to the bottom of this before this poor child ends up been another statistic.Good luck and he is one lucky kid to have a sis that cares so much for him.Maybe he misses not having you around Hun, its possible.

Answer 4

Whether its a 'phase' or not, you sound like the right person to support him. You seem close, and I think he will open up to you. Maybe you should start emailing each other, because he might find it easier to talk about something that's wrong if its in writing rather than face to face. Don't force him to talk about anything, but let him know you're there to listen, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Answer 5

I dont want to worry you but I Personally think it could have something to do with Sexual Abuse check this out get him to speak to a sex therapist without him knowing the real reason or he may freak out. You want to nip this in the bud NOW does he spit out a lot that is a sign of abuse if this situatition is not resolved now there may well be permanent damage or God Forbid Worse I really hope things work out for Him, I will say a little prayer for both of you.

Answer 6

SPEECH DISORDERS: GENERAL ADVICE FOR ALL DISORDERS: Use the WebFerret search engine, your own, and the Wikipedia, and Google websites. GROUPS, at Myspace, Yahoo, and/or Google may be of assistance, and also contact the state, and national bodies for more information. STUTTERING :Try deliberately slowing your speech, or putting some marbles in your mouth. See http://www.stuttering.org/bsrp.html ($$$) & http://www.casafuturatech.com/Books/ (Books/NoMiracle Cures/) (NoMiracleCures/index.shtml) & http://www.slc.sevier.org/comdis.html & http://www.perfect-voice.com/ Call (USA) 1800 992 9392 and 1800 221 2483. It may also be helpful to visit page 38, on self confidence, and use daily, the EFT, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2: "I accept myself completely and deeply, even though I may stutter". LISPING: http://members.tripod.com/Caroline_ (Caroline_Bowen/lisping.htm) PUBLIC SPEAKING: http://www.uncommonknowledge.com/ & http://www.voicebusiness.com.au/ and see social anxiety, at ezy-build on page 9