When me & my boyfriend have kids he wants them to eat meat but I don't want that because i'm a vegetarian

Question

What should I do

Answer 1

I think you should raise them veggie. Anyone who has read The China Study by T. Colin Campbell cannot deny that science has proven beyond doubt that animal protein is bad for your health. Encourage your boyfriend to read this book. You are not "denying" them of meat. You are giving them a clean slate that will last them a lifetime. Many children are unable to fully comprehend the consequences of eating meat--it's long-term health effects and spiritual consequences. Once they are adults they can choose to eat meat but wil have had the benefit of a veggie diet from birth. However, if you do raise them vegetarian read the above book as well as Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine by Gabriel Cousens and Greens for Life by Victoria Boutenko to be sure you are fully educated on vegetarian nutrition. Above all greens are the ultimate vegetarian food and there is no room for junk food in growing children.

Answer 2

I guess it would depend on your reasons for being vegetarian. If you choose not to support the meat industry because of their cruelty, then I think you should stick to that principal. You don't have to tell your kids they can never eat meat, you just don't buy it for them. If they are at a friend's house, or if their dad makes something special for them, or if they're at a school function, they can still eat meat, and you don't have to give your money to an inhumane system. I think this is a perfectly good compromise.

You know, it's funny that every time a teenager asks the "My parents won't let me be a vegetarian" question, the meat eaters all jump down their throat and say "You have to eat what your parents give you" or "When you buy your own food, you can make your own decisions" or just "Do what your parents say". Now that a vegetarian wants to make a decision about the eating habits of her child, the same people say she can't force them and she has to respect their choice. Sounds like a pretty clear double-standard to me. You can't have it both ways.

Answer 3

I think there is a very simple solution for this problem. Who will be doing the majority of the cooking for your household? If it is you, then there should be no argument about what the children are eating.

First of all, why fight about this now? You are not married, nor do you have children. Why jeopardize your relationship for something completely hypothetical?

That being said, I will offer a solution (sort of). You are a vegetarian...he is not. Why are your convictions more important than his? He believes his children should eat meat. You believe the opposite.

Instead of labeling your children as "vegetarians" or "meat consumers" why not let them be children with no belief either way. When mommy cooks the meals are vegetarian. When daddy cooks they contain meat. This way your children can make an informed decision when they are developmentally able to do so.

Answer 4

I have been vegetarian over a decade (I'm 24 now). And I still miss meat. I know I'll never eat it again, but I've met a few people over the years who were raised vegetarian and I have always envied them, because they never have to crave something they can't have. Also, everyone I know who was raised vegetarian chose to stay that way.

Everyone is arguing that you can't force your dietary habits on your children, but eating meat is just another dietary habit -- why is it OK to force that on them? They can be perfectly healthy and have delicious food as a vegetarian. Not to mention the endless health benefits. Plus, as they get older, they can make the choice for themselves.

Check out the blogspot for Vegan Lunchbox, it's a mom who raises her kid vegan and makes him all sorts of amazing things (like vegan Twinkies).

As far as you and your boyfriend go, I'd say present your case and try to work it out definitely before you have kids. Raising children is a huge deal if you can't agree on it -- the relationship may just not be right.

Answer 5

You are the mother and they will be in you for 9 months so I think the best thing to do is to keep them on a vegetarian diet until they are old enough to make their own choice. There isn't anything in meat that they can't get from a well rounded vegetarian diet. If your boyfriend can't respect your decision then he doesn't respect you. A drastic change from the womb to the dinner plate could also upset your childs digestive system or even cause heart problems due to a drastic increase in cholesterol.

Answer 6

I don't think children should eat meat until they are old enough to know what it means. I've been veggie for over 5 years now and I actually feel kinda bad about being raised on meat (until 18), when I never thought about the animals I was eating.

I say, until they are old enough to decide on their own they should eat vegetarian. You can't feed babies meat for a while anyway. Plus meat is NOT healthy for you, it is proven to be worse for you than a balanced vegetarian diet. Even from a health standpoint your babies are healthier as vegetarians.

Since I know I have strong feelings about this, I would not want to marry or have kids with anyone who wasn't vegetarian. I understand above comments about becoming veggie after you've already fallen in love with someone, but if you already know you're veggie, wouldn't you want to share that lovely aspect of life : FOOD with your partner?

I guess different strokes for different folks.

Answer 7

Unless you've actually reached the stage where you're planning a family, rather than just talking about a possible future together, I wouldn't worry about it.

There's no harm an infant can come to from an intelligently planned veg*n diet. My sister was vegetarian when she had her first child, vegan when she had her second and third. After breastmilk, she fed them what she ate, but left it up to them to choose whatever food they liked at nursery, school, friends' houses etc. They knew they weren't forbidden anything, and when they got a bit older the ones that requested meat at home got it; she just made sure it was organic, not slurry and such crap.

They're now three strapping lads; two are omnivores(one of these hates vegetarian food, the other enjoys it often), one is a vegetarian.

From a very early age she left the choice up to them; it's the only respectful thing to do.

I'm a vegan btw.

Edit**Excellent point about the double standard, Veganomicon - letting their kids choose is the only respectful thing for omnivorous parents to do too

Answer 8

Work out the situation before you have kids with him. Get yourself a book like "Raising Vegetarian Children" by Stepaniak and Melina so you can show him that it's 100% possible to raise beautiful, healthy, thriving children on a vegetarian diet. If his objection isn't based on fear of malnutrition, find out what it IS based on. What you do about it depends on what his problem is with it. My boyfriend eats meat, but doesn't feel strongly about it either way. Since he knows that I absolutely DO feel strongly about it, we've agreed that if we have kids they will be raised vegan until they are old enough to choose for themselves. For me, it would be a deal-breaker any other way.

Answer 9

I think that is something you really need to research together to see the pros and cons of each and then compromise on a decision. It's a tough one but you really need to take it seriously... if you're not planning on having kids yet then you have plenty of time to resolve this.

Edit:
"If you can't eat meat or convince him to stop eating
meat, you are obviously not meant to be together."

I'm sorry but I think this is a ridiculous statement! I'm married to a meat-eater and he has been extremely supportive of my decision to become a vegetarian. I respect his choices and he respects mine. Yes it would be EASIER if he also didn't eat meat but he is the man that I love and I'm willing to compromise and accept that we don't have that in common. It is something that isn't that hard to live with as long as you truly love each other and he respects your decision.

Answer 10

I agree you should come to an agreement before you get married, much less have children.

Who is going to be the primary caretaker? Probably you, the mom. You are going to be the one feeding them until they are old enough to feed themselves. You are going to have to change their diapers and deal with their baby messes. Unless he's willing to do the majority of the childraising, the decision over what to feed them rests with you.

Perhaps you could come to some sort of compromise with regards to the children where he gets primary say in another aspect of their upbringing. You might want to check out Carol J. Adams' "Living Among Meat Eaters" for guidance in many areas, including this one.