I have been going out with this girl for about a month now, and she decided to let me know she has HSV-1 genital herpes. She says she has only had the one first outbreak about 3 months ago and hasnt had to be on any medication as of yet.
The problem is I really like her... Whenever Im with her my worries go away and were both just truly happy, but when were not together all I can think about is this. Usully anyone I ask what they would do in my situation say "find someone else".
I feel so bad and Im not sure what to do. When she told me she had it, she refered to herself as trash and dirty and thats hardly the case. What are my options here?
2007-11-02 06:21:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Well we are both in our early 20s... and as for how she says she contracted it, she got it from her unfaithful ex-bf of 4yrs who forced sex apon her when she was trying to break up with him.
It doesnt bother me when I think about a long term realtionship, but if things dont work out and then I get stuck with something aswell, that would suck big time.
2007-11-02 07:49:00 · update #1
She probably got it from oral sex with a partner with cold sores - this is how most genital herpes hsv-1 is caught.
Hsv-1 is not the classic genital herpes virus - this is hsv-2. Hsv-1 is actually much much less infectious than hsv-2 and a lot milder - it causes much fewer outbreaks, an average of only one every other year and is infectious for only about 3-4% of the time compared to 15% for hsv-2.
Firstly, have you ever had a friend or a girlfriend who got cold sores, or do you get cold sores yourself?
If you answered yes to any of these, then they/you are infected with the same virus as this girl, just on the mouth. You would never reject a girl who had cold sores on her mouth - after all, eight out of ten girls get cold sores and it is acceptable, right?
And yet cold sores are caused by the hsv-1 herpes virus - and it is infectious much more of the time when it is on the mouth, at least 16-18% of the time.
So, if you had to choose between the eight out of ten girls you meet who have ever got a cold sore giving you oral sex, and this girl who has the same virus - identical virus - that 80% of the population are infected with- on her genitals, you are five times as likely to get genital herpes from receiving oral sex from someone that gets cold sores as having unprotected intercourse with her.
She has a virus the majority of the population has, but they have it in an 'acceptable' place and she doesn't - yet the irony is hers is less infectious. Would you reject her for that?
My boyfriend got cold sores since he was a kid, I didn't and one time he gave me oral sex and I caught his oral herpes hsv-1 genitally. He can go out and get any girl and they won't be bothered he gets cold sores and yet I have to face all the stigma of having genital herpes - and believe me it makes it really difficult - despite the fact my infection is identical to his. No wonder the poor girl struggles with feeling dirty and like trash.
BTW, if you have ever had a cold sore, you are very unlikely to catch it from her at all - the vast majority of people who catch hsv-1 genitally are people who never caught cold sores as children. I have unprotected sex with my boyfriend, who has cold sores. Even if I had a boyfriend who didn't have hsv-1, the risk might only be 2% a year from unprotected sex that he would catch it.
2007-11-02 08:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by mayflower25 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-09 01:21:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-13 11:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how old are you, if you are only like 15 what are chances you are going to be in a truly long relationship with this girl. On the other hand if you are like 30 and there is a chance for long term it could make a difference in what you are going to do about the situation.
Next thing is does she actually know what she has (confirmed by doctor) (personally I thought genital herpes was HSV-2). If she has genital herpes she can control her outbreaks and protect you by taking "Valtrex". Of course, you should be using condoms to prevent pregnancy anyway. Taking certain precautions there is no reason why the two of you cannot have a wonderful relationship
2007-11-02 06:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by G B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there isn't any. Herpes is caused by a virus. Actually, there is little cure for viruses nowadays. The only thing that you can generally do in the case of a viral infection is strengthen the immune system and hope it fights it off. Not with Herpes, the immune system can't win against it. Thus you only get to treat the symptoms. Once you're infected, it stays with you for life. So don't get infected.
Personal experience. I have had genital herpes for over 5 years.
The #1 Herpes Cure Program?
2016-05-15 04:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends what is important to you. Is she important to you, or are you scared that you'll contract the virus as well? It's not life threatening. Research the facts of the virus; you may be surprised to find that something like 70% of people have a form of the herpes virus already. If you get cold sores on your lip or inside your mouth, you've been infected already (or you could have been born with it).
Use protection, first and foremost. It is still possible to contract it, but the chance is significantly smaller. Ask her to tell you when she's feeling the start of an outbreak; you can avoid sexual activities at that time. Be careful when performing oral sex; use protection at this time as well.
She feels guilty for contracting it, but it may not have been her fault or her choice - remember that. If you truly care about her, the fact that she has this virus should not force you away from her. You don't need to have sex with her right now either. Give it time, and find out if that's something you really want to do before indulging. Talk to her about the issue and learn what you can from her. Then follow your heart. But don't discount her just because of this.
2007-11-02 07:02:35 · answer #6 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if you Find some else do you really think they would be as honest as her to tell you that they too can be positive with something. You must thank her for being honest to you and the both of you can enjoy sex in a protective way and still have normal sex like anyone else. Praise her, tell her she's not trash, she's a precious stone, a diamond she's very hard to find. She can get on suppressive therapy to control her outbreaks even if they don't come often. Enjoy each other and live life.
2007-11-02 10:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get herpes from kissing and sexual contact with someone who has an active herpes lesion.
There has been no cure found for herpes yet. If you get herpes you will have it for life.
Your girlfriend was a responsible person for letting you know. I know a person who has been married twice and they did not pass it on to either mate. But, there were many times that they did not have sex for a month or more while the active stage passed. This person knew the symptoms because they had had it for a few years before getting married and all sexual contacts were told about them having herpes.
You should respect your girlfriend for her responsible actions. I can not tell you what to do. You need to know if your are going to get married before intimate contact. I would suggest that you not have sex or kissing when she is in an active stage, but you are having to trust her to know when she is in an active stage.
Herpes will start with a burning, stinging sensation and will advance in a few days to an open sore. Herpes can be passed to another person at any of these times. As herpes progresses you may get a headache, and feel like you have the flu, along with muscle aches. If you have herpes you will learn these symptoms as you have reoccurant episodes of herpes.
Herpes can be helped by taking lysine 500mg two to three times per day. Lysine helps make the lesions go away quicker and be less painful. There are lysine creams that can be put on the lesion if it develop on your lips or other exposed mucous membranes. These creams can be found in health food stores.
You can get herpes from kissing and sexual contact with someone who has an active herpes lesion.
There has been no cure found for herpes yet.
I do not suggest taking the prescription drugs that are on the market for herpes unless you read the side effects and understand that there are serious side effects from many prescription drugs that may cause you other problems. The current drugs for herpes do not cure the disease.
If you or a person you are dating have an STD be a responsible person and learn all you can about the disease.
Tell your future mate about your STD, you will find an understanding person to be in your life.
When searching for more information on a disease on the web I always suggest that you include the words "natural cures" in the search.
You can find more information about herpes on www.naturalroute.com
I wish you the best. ZenWhenNow
2007-11-02 08:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop over thinking this. Go to the doctor together. Let an educated professional guide you two in what you need to do to be safe.
Become educated about all this. There are drugs that can help her.
Get to the doctor, the sooner the better. You need to go as a couple and you need to become informed so you can make responcible intelligent decisions for both you and her.
She may also need some couseling for her low self esteem issues.
This is above all a health issue. She cannot help that she contracted it, but now you need to learn to live with it. It is possible.
Be supportive for her and let her be supportive for you. You are wonderful to love her despite her problem.
2007-11-02 07:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by pink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just practice safe sex. Herpes is a virus that stays in the system for ever - so they say. The best way to get rid of it for good is to try the following:
Crocodile peptide
Hydrogen Peroxide Treatment
Or the "Master Cleanse Diet"
I know people who got rid of it - only when you have a weak immune system does it stay in your system. You might never contract it if you are healthy, but why take the chance. She shouldnt be eating foods that are acidic.What she pretty much needs to do is Detoxify the body and it will leave for good. Good Luck!
Its very curable!
2007-11-02 07:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by Rick R 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋