We've been together just over 3 years now, 3 months into it we moved away from everything together, at about 18 months I cheated on him, twice with one guy then again with another, he caught me out and i confessed to everything, its been a long year and a bit since he found out, we've been through alot of arguments and tears and emotions... he said he'd try to forgive me but he doesnt know if he ever can...
And but whens hes angry with me he'll bring it up again to make me feel bad, we've thought about moving back home, but now its getting close he says hes not going till the scores even..?? I agreed to this as we havent been the same in the bed ever since I thought it may help...?? but when i agreed he said 'Maybe Im not like that' In other words he probly wont do it... but I want to move back home the sooner the better as this place brings it up often... if you know what i mean...
Do you think if we move back it will get his mind off it or will it make the situation worse? never ag
2007-10-30 23:31:48 · 16 answers · asked by twincamcelica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dunno, but if the shoe were on the other foot would you forgive him? Maybe you should be single for a while commitment doesn't seem to be your strong characteristic.
2007-10-30 23:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by Amzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. as you know he has all the rights to be upset. A man never forgets and holds it more than a women.
He might forgive you but he wont forget.. Just remember that things wont ever be the same as much as you want to tell yourself things will get better. It wont and depending on how he is. If he's like most men then he will bring up when you argue or your out and he didn't get a hold of you.
moving back WONT make things better.. Just because your not at the place doesn't mean that everything gets erased.
He will still remember.. you just have to give him his time and space.
You shouldn't want him to go out and sleep with a girl just because you did it.. He's a good man to say he's not like that.
What were your reasons for it??
Just think.. YOU hurt HIM, YOU cheated on him.. so you are going to have to be willing to go through obstacles like him bringing it up and asking you question especially now that he just found out. If you don't want to go through all that then be honest and open with him and tell him to be honest with you. Because if he's not willing to forgive you completely and not bring the situation up and try to make the relationship work. Then he shouldn't waste your time...
2007-10-30 23:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately something at the time made you cheat and then again so something is lacking in your relationship and my motto is dont go back cos when you start looking you always think the grass is greener on the other side but then realise a one night stand isnt what you want.
your boyfriend must really really love you to accept this becuase I truly believe that whatever made you cheat in the first place means you WILL do it again. And if is was you that was cheated on you would be distraught and always have doubts in the back of your mind.
my true advice would be you both have tried again for a year - go your separate ways and if you are meant to be together after time apart then you will get back together.
good luck and best wishes. xxx
2007-10-30 23:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to matter where you live- he's not going to forget about it. The fact that he even wants to "make the score even" goes to show how immature he is. He doesn't have to forget what happened- but if he's not willing to stop bringing it up and throwing it in your face- than you are truely in a toxic relationship. You can't change what you did- and I totally understand how hurt and angry he is (I've been there)- but he has to be able to talk about it and really figure out if he wants to be with you. Don't feel obligated to stay with this guy just because you made some mistakes- respect yourself and don't allow this man to treat you like that. I would say that you should move somewhere WITHOUT him! Just my opinion.
2007-10-30 23:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should put yourself in his shoes for a while, would you have forgiven him if he cheated on you? would you really.. Would you forget or bring it up when you have arguements?
There was a reason why you cheated... And moving wont change the past...
But, if he really does love you and wants to be with you, and you him ...then try and work it out, make a pack and talk it all out.. once your done with it, make the pack to never speak abut it agian and get on with life.. Its to short to be arguing all the time..
Good Luck
2007-10-30 23:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by Inquiring Mind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the situation is not gonna get any better but this doesn't mean it can't be worked out. Both of you guys made mistakes and it's gonna take a lot of work to repair this relationship. The question is are you willing to go through the hardship days to prove to him you still love him?
2007-10-30 23:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not going to matter where you are ,he cant let it go and you should understand why. it wouldnt leave your mind if it was the other way around. even if he got even it wont make what you did hurt any less. if its possible then the best thing to do would be to move on without eachother. learn your lesson from this and see the value that you need to put into a relationship to keep it strong.
2007-10-30 23:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cheated on him then you don't love him completely and he now knows that so might as well do what you both feel is right in your hearts and don't be afraid to do the right thing even if it feels hard.
2007-10-31 02:36:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jabba_da_hut_07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will make it worse. You gave him a reason not to trust you now he never will no matter how good you are. Guys are embedded with the motto, once a cheater always a cheater.
2007-10-30 23:36:18 · answer #9 · answered by Dozer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you cheat on him in the first place? You should be thankful he even stayed with you, I would just leave instead of him.
No, he won't forgive you completely ever. He wants you, and you just showed that you just "Kinda" want him, but not exactly. Think about it...
2007-10-30 23:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by s.boniel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really needs to decide if he can forgive you. It's been a year, he should at least be starting to move on from it.
Just tell him you love him, and are so sorry, but that you need to move on with your lives. If he can, he will, and if not, I am very sorry.
2007-10-30 23:36:13 · answer #11 · answered by LifeLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋