Ladies, I need to know!...?

Question

Hello

I`ve been in a 6 months relationship that ended a month ago.

I really need to know how other women feel about this...

She was great.We were very different and she was depressive since the day her granpa died (she wore just black clothes; when we broke up, she was still feeling like her grandpa died yesterday).

sex was a big issue.she allways said that we`d only make love, not sex.and that will be when she`ll feel I love her.
we did sexual stuff (some of it very kinky) but never vaginal sex.

I care about her, but a non-sexual relationship is not a true one for me.at least, not a fulfilling one.in the beginning we were very intimate and attracted.then she got scarred and put distance between us.

I tried to just love her and let go, but I felt like she didn`t want me.I found myself hating and loving her at the same time...

I think she wanted to much, too early.now I feel like I loved her, but I`m still mad...and my patience gone long ago...

that`s a shame..

Answer 1

As a woman I can say that your ex-girlfriend had a lot of baggage and seemed rather emotionally unstable. Please don't judge the rest of us by this experience. It takes a lot of patience to stay in a relationship with someone like that, and when it seems you're no longer wanted or needed, it's time to go on up the road. Don't fight it, you did your best and it wasn't enough. Sometimes with someone like that, your best will never be enough.

Answer 2

I'm not sure what you're question is here, but what I did catch was that the death of her grandpa hit your ex very very hard. She probably should be getting counseling and/or medication to help her deal with it.

As for the sex, why did you get mad? Because she set standards on what she'd do with her body that you didn't like? You never said what her reasons were, but surely you must have asked her what they were? Why didn't she want vaginal sex? If it's because she didn't want to give that much of herself to someone who might leave her one day, then apparently she did the right thing since you DID leave her. Sounds like she wasn't sure of your love for her. It also sounds like you're not too sure of it either. You said, "Now I feel like I loved her, but....". There are not 'buts' in this situation. Either you loved her or you didn't. If you're not sure now or have never been sure, then obviously you didn't live up to her criteria for being deserving of that much intimacy.

Not trying to be mean about it, but she was going through a hard time. I know what it's like to lose my grandpa. I lost my grandfather, my LAST grandparent, just over a year ago. I still have not totally healed from it. I can imagine how much harder it must be for a younger woman to deal with that sort of thing. I had my kids to help get my mind off of my pain. What and who did your g/f have? You? Her parents, maybe? If she was still wearing black, she needed help, not pressure. If you couldn't give that to her, then maybe you two weren't right for each other. No offense to you or her, but that's the way it sounds. You say you're mad, but why are you mad? Because she wouldn't give it up when you wanted and how you wanted? Since when are those kinds of things up to the man and the man alone? If you didn't want sex and she did, do you think you'd be willing to do what she wants because she demands it....even if you DID NOT want it?

My guess is no. Lose the anger. Find peace and call the whole thing quits until you can get things in perspective. After that......it'll be up to you what the next step should be. Just put yourself in her place first before you place expectations and demands where they are not needed or wanted.

Good luck.

Answer 3

hi johny it depands upon perspn 2 person if u love sme1 bt u want p reltions n she doesnt then dont compell her bcos if u do this there will b differences between u .wich u dont wanna .so the thing is dat if ur love is ture then sex doesnt matter at sme xtent bt if u really wanna it means u just wanna satisfy ur phy need or smthing else .u knw wat u can satisfy ur phy need 4om any 1 bt u cant get mental n heart satisfaction 4om every person . so dont let her go far away 4om urself gud luck .its v hard 2 find a true love in dis materialistic world so plz think carefully n then take any desicion

Answer 4

She sounds like sge had a fear of committment--or she feared the unknown. death takes time to mourn and the length of time varies from person to person. the sex issues were HER control factor and I say you two were not properly suited and you are better off without her--a rewarding relationship GROWS stronger everyday---yours didn't, it languished and the degree of happiness was very low for you and her too. It just didn't work and that's the way it is---life can be very disappointing--better luck next time.

Answer 5

SHE wanted too much too early? The girl has a standard that should be admired and respected if you TRULY love her & when she'd ready she'll let you know! You men are too pushy & desperate sometimes!

Answer 6

i think you should of respected her decisions her problems would of faded sooner or later and maybe you should of been there for her as a good b.f and support her.. and about not having a sexual relationship with her then maybe if you really cared for her you could of waited a little longer hoped i helped

Answer 7

She is dealing with another problem right now, and does not need you to complicate her life. Just move on.

Answer 8

shes kinda weird.
shes still under your skin. go out and find you another chick.
in time, if you let it, you will soon forget.
best of luck

Answer 9

Sorry Pal........ its a shame