do i stay with a mummys boy or walk away??

Question

I need some advice as i am stuck with this issue. My partner walked out 2 months ago 6 weeks after we bought our first home together, he moved back home to his mother and father.
I was his first girlfriend and the first time he has lived away from the family home, he is nearly 32.
Problem is however i still love him and he wants to reconcile, but how do i reconcile with a man that places more importance on protecting and worrying and fussing over his mother than he does with our relationship..his mother and sister have treated me pretty badly over the last 3 weeks and im not sure i could even or would want to have them in my life again..i find them interfering, needy, manipulative and placing alot of pressure on my partner if they dont see him regularly.
His mother calls him the rock in the family and i always feel that i come 5th best with him, after mother, sister and nieces and nephew as before me he would spend most of his time with his sister and her children. Is this weird?

Answer 1

If youre not married to him run run run as fast as you can away from him or face a lifetime of misery and being last all the time. He is still a boy. Go look for a man.

Answer 2

Yes it is weird, but not uncommon' My daughter has been with a mummy's boy for over 10 yrs (married & divorced 2x & now back living together). I just want you to know that you will never be able to change him nor will you ever come first so if you plan on staying with him be prepared for the heartache, lonliness & resentment that comes with it. Untill you've decided you've had enough, you will continue to tolerate it. The things we women do in the name of love are not always the best things for us. Good Luck to you, And stay strong!And if you don't already have kids with him, I would really think long & hard before doing so. They won't change his priorities & loyalties to his mummy, etc.

Answer 3

I have never been able to understand why it is that some in laws don't realize that once a son/brother is in a relationship as an adult, it is time for him to make up his own family and to put this new family FIRST. It doesn't mean that he'll stop being a brother or a good son, but it does mean he has someone else to care for now, and that they have to mind their own business and let the man be a man. I've seen this plenty of times...the "favorite uncle" babysitting for nephews and nieces and postponing or disrupting plans with his girlfriend/wife to take care of his family's needs... that is BS. This will never change, it'll only get worse, unless he's willing to put his foot down and let his family know that YOU come first. If he's not willing to do this, then you should find someone who'll give you the respect you deserve. Even if you're not marrying his family; you would have to deal with their stinky a.s.s. too often.

Answer 4

Walk away.

It is completely weird. When a real man makes a commitment to buy a home with his girlfriend he leaves his mother and siblings behind and starts a new life with his girlfriend. Generally after a major commitment like buying a home together engagement or marriage is not far behind.

But this loser moved out, and moved back in with his mommy at the age of 32! Are you kidding!?!? WTF?

This is every sign you need that your boyfriend is a pathetic little mommy's boy and will never be man enough to be a long term relationship for you.

The best thing you can do is put the house on the market, dump his loser a55, and move on with your life.

I can't see any good argument for staying with him at all. It would be bad enough if this guy were 23, but 32. Please.

Consider yourself lucky that you learned all you needed to about this loser before your got married or pregnant. Too bad you only figured this out after buying a home together.

Answer 5

i think you answered your own question, you just need a little help understanding the answer
1. Has anything changed since he left and now when he is wanting to come back?
a. as in are the same problems still existing that caused him to leave in the first place
b. are the same elements still in place that caused the problems
c. has he offered to make any changes
d.when a person makes a commitment as in a marriage, the husband and/or wife put each other first.
when they have kids they come second and then their parents come last

and last but not least a couple has to be willing to stand up for each other, even to there parents after all who are they going to spend there lives with.
You can love and respect your parents but they should in turn do the same for you and your spouse and/or life parter as the case my be

Answer 6

You are asking if this guy will ever cut the apron strings?
This guy hasn't even cut the umbilical cord!
Thank God you found out before having children with this big baby!
Walk away.
You don't want his damaged goods.
Get him to sign a quit-claims on the house and get the deed redone accordingly if you want to keep it... or the both of you just sell it. Get your money and leave.

Answer 7

Walk away... Do you want to be second place to his mother?

You are the "other woman" in what sounds like a family that has got this guy by the balls when it comes to controlling his life...

The question you should be asking yourself is:

Would you rather be a priority or just the option in his eyes?

Answer 8

He is not able to let her mom`s skirt, then, tell him he should date his mom, and not you. If he at the age of 32 is not able to make a decision on his own, i think there are big problems with this guy.
But if you love him, and giving up on him, gives you head aches, then you should try to talk to him and make him understand, that it is absolutely normal for him to love his mother, but you have to tell him, that there is a time in life when you have to decide you you will marry, mother or a girl, the love of his life?

Answer 9

OMG if you ever listen to strangers , do it now!
WALK!
My X still lives on momma and daddys land , in his grammas house. (shes dead) he has NEVER owned his own place....
Always been under their thumb.....
He will be 49 in January and he is scared to death of them> when they cry , he runs....
IM beggin you, it wont change RUN as fast as you can, he wont change, he cant...if he is in his 30s and still clingin..he aint NEVER gonna change. You can do better
Im still livin with the grief this sorry *()_()*&(& has given to me........he dont pay me ONE CENT of child support, slimes out of it...hes a milliionare, but they have politics , they judge writes off all his tickets , and WRITES up FALSE TICKETS on me!! yep
So get out while you can! hes bad news

Answer 10

yes id walk too, dont thnk you can reconcile with how bad they all make you feel to the positives in the relationshp... they wont ever go away and he will always be the same.. blood is thicker and all that... find someone who wants and needs you..... there is no poit in the power strugggle with his mom because she will always win...
or if you do really love hm take him back and keep quiet for the rest of your life together and smile and be a perfect daughter in law..... eeekk, its a tough one................