He and I aren't like a couple anymore. He embarasses me in front of his friends (telling me what to do, yelling sometimes etc). I don't feel attracted to him, and he doesn't take my concerns seriously. If something bothers me (like his rudeness towards me).. he'll bring up something miniscule.
What should I do? His lack of regards for me make me want to leave the country and get citizenship some where else.
2007-10-30 18:53:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He thinks relationship counseling is a joke.
2007-10-30 18:53:20 · update #1
Interesting question.
Your situation is proof of why an engagement period can be helpful.
The good news is you aren't married, so rather than leaving the country, just tell him you think it would be a positive step in your relationship to be apart for a while, to see if the two of you are serious about a relationship that is a lifetime commitment.
Then become unavailable for a while, (a week, a month.........whatever).
I'm not saying dump him, I'm not suggesting you run, just give yourself some space, see how you feel in a month. (and to see how he reacts).
If his behavior doesn't change, give him back the ring and move on. If he decides to pursue you, you'll have some serious relational work ahead, for the two of you.
My guess, (from your description), is that you NEED professional help, if he is adamantly unwilling, you're probably done.
Obviously, the wedding plans are on hold, (if not totally off).
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but things could be a lot worse. You could already be married, and while a break up is difficult, divorce is indescribably painful.
Luck
2007-10-30 19:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's this simple. Realize what you want, if he isn't providing it for you: Even if it's just happiness - then do what it takes to get it, or else you are letting yourself be walked all over. Think it will end once you get married? Don't take it to an extreme right now- he might change hi smind if you actually sit down and have a talk. It only takes one talk.
Tell him what makes you upset. If you don't he will enver know, point out specific times.
If he says " Well I don't know how I'm going to fix it - or if he starts saying " I don't know " in general, then obviously he isn't putting forth enough effort to actually care about saving or advancing your happiness and in essence your relationship with him.
It's hard to let go..it is, but people change and this isn't your fault.. afterall, you are trying to save this - is he?
No. Be easy on yourself, be strong- and no matter what- remember that if you want something enough, do what it takes to get it. Happiness included. Life included.
2007-10-31 02:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by P3ngy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him don't let the door hit ya where the lord split ya. Give him back his ring. Why would you even consider spending the rest of your life like that? You are a complete person without him and you deserve better. Why settle? The world is full of good men you just have to look. Most of us have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince. Why would you keep kissing this one? Do you want warts?
2007-10-31 02:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by sonkysst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your question more than once. Tell him how you feel and postpone the wedding indefinitely
He may not be the one for you and you're blessed to find that out now rather than later. You should want more for yourself.
2007-10-31 02:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by yvettecm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's treating you like dirt. Why would you want to save this relationship? Cut your losses and count yourself lucky that you are just breaking up rather than getting divorced.
2007-10-31 01:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by JenWales 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's freaking out because you two are getting married and he is nervous. Other then that, maybe he's also a meat head and that is how marriage is going to be.
2007-10-31 01:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Um. If this is how it is in the "honeymoon stage" where you're just engaged with him, can you imagine married life? It will only get worse.
2007-10-31 01:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by Amzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, no, no!
DON'T move, that's drastic.
you're obviously not content with your relationship anymore.
he isn't trying to make it better either.
so tell me, why do you want to stay in it?
u shouldn't remain in an unhappy relationship where he constantly puts u down & if he's not willing to me it work either there's no reason to continue.
is there?
2007-10-31 02:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jojo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is not prepared to admit something is wrong then there is nothing you can do im sorry ----- it seems you have tried to be mature and open and he keeps rejecting you ---- maybe you would be best to tell him to get lost --- he may think you have no choice ---- best wishes
2007-10-31 01:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then leave. What more can you do? You know you deserve better than that I hope.
2007-10-31 01:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋