How can I tell if he doesnt want ppl knowing we are going out again?

Question

For some reason to me, it seems like my boyfriend doesnt want peple knowing we are back together. We were split up for about a month and a half, but have been back together for about 2 and a half weeks now.
I don't know whats making me feel this way and I can't seem to shake it. I don't think he's really given me a reason to even think this.
I mean it is obvious that we are back together and people do know.
I just dont know whats going on with me. what can I do?
or what do you think?

Answer 1

Intuition can be a strong indicator. If you feel he is somehow reticent, he may very well be. Depending on how well you knew him before/how long you were going out, chances are you know his ways, and something just seems...off without being able to put a finger on it.

This can be awkward, and if you are right, it may not necessarily be a bad thing. Perhaps when you ended, (depending how you ended), he was hurt and said some things he shouldn't have ("I'll never talk to her again!"). Perhaps there were even people who agreed with the split. Either way, it can sometimes be embarrassing to SAY the words, "I was wrong," "Yeah, about what I was saying before...icksnay on that...," or, "Don't think I'm a dope, but I went back." As well, this could just be old-fashioned caution; maybe he doesn't want to throw a party till he knows for sure it'll make it.

Of course, there is a difference from the above (the trepidation will pass), and being genuinely ashamed. This is a bit of a problem, as no relationship--love or otherwise--should be a source of shame. Since I am assuming you could be open about your relationship before (it isn't at work or somewhere forbidden), there shouldn't be any reason for hush-hush now.

If he did some major smearing, then he owes you an apology and a serious setting of the record straight. If there are people who don't support the reunion, they also need to be asked to allay their judgement and give you two the best. And, finally, worse case, if he is just with you to fill time and thus, doesn't want to make it into something full-fledged "real," you need to know that too. Believe me, generally men and women WANT their love to be known. Hiding it is usually not a good sign.

Some talk is in order here. You don't need to go in with the troops, but just a passing, "Hey, I'm really glad we're back together. Why don't we call up so-and-so and go out on a double date?" If his actions support your suspicions, (that he doesn't want to truly acknowledge you and him--not that he's just tired or not in the mood to), address it. You can say something like, "I feel like you are apprehensive to let people know we're back together." See what he says. Let his words--and your intuition--be your guide.

Best wishes!!