how do i cope when im sure no one else knows what im going through???

Question

i was fine normal actually, when i was 5 years old then i had to change classes in order to let new people into my class. it was awful it may be a very long time ago but i can still remember it. the kids were so mean this guy would beat me up for no reason,and worst of all this boy felt me in places i didnt feel comftable with,stalking me and making me kiss him when the teacher wasnt looking. and do you know who stopped it?? the students this tough friend of mine told him to go away always she would beat him up and he did. but i couldnt trust people and stopped talking. people would beat me up to get me to talk say hurtful things and make me feel unaccepted and unwanted. i am now only 14 years old and have already thought of suicide more than once,and still cant talk to people. i am already seeing a counsellor but its so awful knowing that no one else understands me and having myself as my worst enemy.

Answer 1

I am 31. When I was 14 and younger kids made fun of me due to I had buck teeth, braces and big breast. By the time I hit Jr. High I was being called a slut and I was still a virgin. I know your pain. I would run home and cry. I would even cry myself to sleep at night. My psychiatrist would tell me to ignore them. I would think thats easy for you to say. The doctor wanted to put me on meds for depression. To make a long story short. I wished I wouldn't have let those kids bother me. So what if I didn't have them as my friend. Friends come and go. You need friends who will except you as you are. As for the ones beating up on you if you stand up for yourself they will stop. They do it because they know you will not defend yourself and they can get a laugh out of you. As for the ones who make fun of you ignore them. It may take a while, but once they see they are not getting to you they will stop. Once I started to ignore the ones messing with me and fighting back on the ones hitting me they stopped. Also kill them with kindness. They wont know how to act.

You have to be a friend to yourself before you can be a friend to someone else. Forgive yourself of your past mistakes and move on. Life is to short to hold on to the past.

Don't kill yourself over these people due to you will go to HELL the bible states this fact and if you kill yourself these people will win. Now do you want them to win? I didn't think so.
Good luck.

Answer 2

One of the worse things that people with depression tell themselves is that no one else understands what they have to deal with. I've had a physical disability since birth, I have had to deal with a learning disability and I've been treated for depression since I was 8 years old. I've been teased by both children and adults, I've been treated like I'm a person with a developmental disability when actually I have a pretty high IQ. But because I have a psychical and a psychiatric disability people seem to think that I don't know what I'm doing or thinking. So there are a lot of people who understand what you're going through because we've had to go through the same kind of things. Suicide is an option only for people who don't care how the people who are left feel> What do you think that your parents would feel if you killed yourself?? I know that life can suck sometimes, But I also know that it can get better. You have to give it a chance and you have to be willing to do the work that it's going to take. To me suicide is the easy way out.

Answer 3

Wow. I had a similar treatment as a young child early in my school life. I actually still don't know why I was "picked on" then. Once some guy in a group yelled that I broke a bike (???) (I was not even close to a bike) and another time someone wrote something bad on a bathroom wall saying I did something (I don't remember what it was now, but the Principal talked to me.) The problem for me was I couldn't stand up for and protect myself, and I still have a problem with standing up for myself (which probably has something to do with being abandoned for me). However, I think these incidents you describe are just childhood incidents, with bullies, that you will outgrow, and though you think of it all the time now, as you get older you will have other and better experiences and much more interesting things to do and good things that can happen to you as you grow up. I would just suggest that you try to put these childhood incidents out of your mind, as these kids were just bullies anyway, and get on with doing whatever is fun TO YOU as you get older and older, reading or going to the library there are thousands of interesting books there, skating, going to the beach, hiking, going to a movie (my favorite to make me feel better), you can rent movies, cds and even talking books for free at the libraries around here), there are many, many more options...just SEEK darlin' and you can find things and people that you like - - that like you. Life has many options as you will see....Life goes on and the bad things do go away. Just look for good things and take good care of yourself.......Jay

I do still have depression and for that I use Stress Tabs and St. Johns Wort (an herb) and a new remedy recommended by a herbalist. It is called by at the pharmacy for $14.00, and it is amazing to me to be "feeling good" for the first time in a very long time.....so I am very happy for that.

Answer 4

You are in an age of transition that many your age go through and you will survive it but it will take a while. I went through a lot of what you describe and in my case I turned to reading - I read every book in the school library the first year of Jr. high school. Just tell yourself that you are not alone and many of those putting on the big show are just as confused as you are but they hide it better. Try to find one or two friends that you can talk to and that may help you and find books to read that will help you feel better about yourself. I will give you a link to one, As a man thinketh and the other book, think and grow rich , is quite good as well.
Many of us have gone through what you have - possibly even your counselor - but when we get passed it, the feeling is like you have climbed a mountain and see only beauty around you. I promise you that once you are older you will look back and see that this is all just something you went through to get where you will be then, and you will be happy. Good luck to you!!

Answer 5

Just remember that your not the only one who feels this way in the world, many people have gone threw way worse than you, don't let something that happened to you in the past define who you are today.I understand how you are feeling, something similar happened to me when I was 4yrs old, but as I got older I realized that children don't understand how they can hurt someone else by their unacceptable behavior.Don't let a child hood incident stop you from being the person that you are meant to be and that is being confident in your self and believing in the faith of god to guide you to trust and happiness.

Answer 6

That must have been hard for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I also had a really hard time when I was little too, kids being mean and whatnot, but not as bad as what happened to you. Keep seeing your counselor and keep talking about it to him/her. Just think about how much of your life you have left to live. Trust me, as days, months, years go by...you will stop hurting as much. I'm 26 and I barely remember things that happened to me when I was young. You have so much life to live. Try to enjoy your childhood, because your going to grow up so fast. Spend lots of time with you family and keep the friends that are good to you. You'll be just fine sweetie, trust me.

Answer 7

It's hard to feel like your the only one that this happens to find an online support group or just anybody who will listen to you when you need to talk about it. But trust me your not the only one your just brave enough to tell ppl about. Maybe you could move to another city or school to help. Just hang in there and you'll soon see that there is more ppl like you. Just remember commiting suicide is a permenant soulition to a temperary problem and everything will pass in time.

Answer 8

Having you, is your best friend. That's horrible that the schools administration allows this abuse to continually occur.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR, YOUR PARENTS AS WELL AS YOUR THERAPIST? There have to be someone that can come to your aide. If none of these people in authority gives you any protection, maybe the only other alternative is to go to the police department and file a complaint of sexual abuse, child endangerment and lack of protection to secure the safety of a minor.

Answer 9

Your feelings are real. The fear you feel is real. It is really sad that you cannot share what is happening to you, and in you, because of fear, pain, mistrust, and shame. Do not let the world determine who you are. You are wonderfully and fearfully created in the image of God! You have His fingerprints all over you! If you can trust human beings, trust God. The fact that you ask the question shows intelligence. You are a smart young lady. Don't let people tell you who you aren't. Believe in who you are. You have integrity and dignity. Don't let your spirit be broken by those who do not comprehend who you are in the Kingdom of God. Give Jesus a chance.

Answer 10

You have suffered Trauma which is still unresolved and will continue to effect you your whole life unless you start to deal with it in a good supportive environment.
Yes your Trama is unique to you as it is to each victim but the REACTION to trauma and how it affects you right now are well within a Psychological professional s realm of Training.
I would start by seeing my doctor for a check up physically and ask for referral for evaluation.
Ursula.
Speaking from personal and Professional experience of Trauma too.Now resolved.and firmly in the PAST.