Can a Christian marry an Agnostic/Existentialist?

Question

My fiance and love each other we compliment each other wonderfully. The only thing we don't see perfectly eye to eye on is religion. He calls himself an Existentialist, which is different from Agnostic. My boyfriend is a truely amazing testament to God's grace, as he's been through many horrifying incidents; but I can see why he would question the existence of a loving God when so many awful things have happened to him. I was very honest from the beginning, telling him my physical limits and morals; he's never tried to overstep them once. I told him when we first talked about marriage that it was important that I have a Christian ceremony, and raise my children to be Christian (Or take them to Temple, as he's culturally Jewish). He agreed wholeheartedly; he's even attended church with me multiple times. I believe interfaith marriages are possible, but they are challenging, and most people would rather avoid the extra stress than deal with the extra dynamics. Any opinions?

Answer 1

Well basically, it's wrong. If you do believe the Bible is relevant to today's people, you should know that God condemn's unequal yoking, which is what your marriage would be. 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yokes together iwth unbelieves. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkeness?" I encourage you to read through the rest of that chapter for yourself and pray and ask God to show you what is right. I think you know what is right, and if you only follow what God wants for you, you will be happy. Breaking up with somebody is always hard, but you will be really glad you did the right thing once you are in a relationship with another Christian man. >L

Answer 2

The fact that you two have made it this far in the relationship -- past the difficult morals, limits, and raising kids conversations -- is a testament to your ability to make this work.

I was raised Catholic and fell in love with an atheist. We had those conversations, but they always ended up unresolved. He questioned my moral decisions, wondering why someone would do something (or not do something) because "God told you to." He hated the idea of me taking our hypothetical children to church unless I was willing to equally expose them to every other religion, atheism, etc. (is that even possible?). In the end, I realized that, even though we were attracted to each other physically and emotionally, this was not the kind of love that could last.

There will always be some diversity or disagreements in a relationship. As long as you respect each other's beliefs and are open to discussing them with each other (and open to questions from the kids), it sounds like you two can have a lasting relationship.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I should think so.

No two people believe the same thing - even if they go to the same church. They may not admit the differences - if they have tact. But no two people think alike.

I'm a Buddhist - athough I was raised in the Church of England. If I had to marry in church, for my SO to really "feel" married, I would do it whole-heartedly.

I might not take communion at a church, because it would send an incorrect message. But marrying there would be fine.

But in the long run, if it's more a matter of him accomodating your desire for religious ceremony, than you accomodating his desire for religious ceremony, you must be aware of this & really don't try to force it.

Above all - talk t each other.

P.S. My motto is -
MY FAITH IS MY FAITH
YOUR FAITH IS YOUR FAITH.
I pledge never to try to impose my beliefs on you.
All I ask is that you pledge the same.

P.P.S. When I'm staying with my parents, back in England, I go to church with them at Christmas & sing the hymns - I enjoy singing - but I won't take communion.

Answer 4

I think you two should get married, you seem to have a wonderful relationship. I don't see any problem with people of two different "faiths" getting married. As long as he agrees to the ceremony being Christian, as that seems very important to you. Also you should be sure and discuss how to raise your children(before they get here) , so you don't end up fighting over that later.

Answer 5

I think as long as you both are open minded and can communicate (as you and your fiance seem to be able to do) it should be fine.

My future brother in law is Catholic and his wife is Jewish. They have had no problems. They even have a baby on the way. I don't know what religion they will raise it as (not my business really) but I'm sure it's something they talked about before making the decision to get married.

Answer 6

If in your heart you agree with L and Maedaze, then don't marry this guy. Your marriage will never work, not because it is truly "wrong" but because of your belief system.

If you have an open mind, however, and so does he; and you can talk and work together on this issue; and if you agree on how to raise any children beforehand, then go for it. I know several marriages like this, long term ones, where the partners are very happy.

Answer 7

Of course, people marry others of different faiths.

Just make sure, before you get married, you talk about children and how to raise them with regards to religion.

These relationships ARE a challenge, but most marriages do take some work anyway.

It sounds like you both have a great relationship, congrats!

Answer 8

your husband is someone that u must share everything with - your thoughts, your feelings, your life. It will be hard if your life is based on the love of your god and his is based on worldly things. However, that doesnt mean it wont work. You already know that you love this guy, that he respects you and your beliefs so i think it may work out - just be prepared that things may get tough later when moral decisions arise. I really hope you both can build a life together and that your religion and differences in beliefs dont stop your love.

Answer 9

I know exactly how you feel. I am Pagan, and my hubby is Christian. Religiously speaking were polar opposites in religious belief/practice. But I was a Christian for 8 years of my life, so i understand how he thinks 100%. To me it's not a matter of "who's right".To us it's a matter of how to live in a good moral, ethical, happy, loving way. A life that is SPIRIT filled. Your spiritual walk with the divine is a personal relationship, and if you choose to share your personal relationship with your fiancee, then I think that's admirable. But remember that if he's 'culturally' jewish, then that means he's still a jew regardless of his relationship with the divine. There are going to be certain observances in his life such as yom kippur, rosh hoshannah, hanukkah, that you may not understand. Ask him to help you understand and to observe with him.

I have gone to church with my sweety, and he has attended rituals with me. We have blended our lives as well as our faiths. It has been done for many years, but the KEY to this is respect for both faiths, and beliefs. I hope this helps.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

If you are a Christian you know the answer to this! The Bible tells us to never marry from different lands. This was because God didn't want His people worshipping the God's of other countries or celebrating/practicing the other religions. The bible also speaks of Christians not being unevenly yoked. Meaning, you should both follow Christ as a team. Not, one of you. This is becuase it is a lot easy for non followers to pull you into their life than for you to bring them up into yours. The Lord calls us at different times to follow him. Ecclesiastes talks about there being a season for everything!

Here are versus you can check out: 2 Corinthians 6-14:15, Galations 5:16-21, Ephesians 4: 2-3

I am not saying that you are wrong in marrying this man. That is not my place. I would suggest that you Pray about it and let God speak to you. You will see the signs from the Lord about this if you pray.