my housemate and me get along really well. but he just send me an email through to my work email complaining about stuff around the house. Such as not covering up food with glad wrap when I put it in the fridge, buying him another jar of mustard, not to use his shampoo, etc which is fair enough requests I guess. But whenever I talk to him about stuff I always make sure we talk in person and that I'm as diplomatic as possible. I called him up and told him it really upset me that he put it in an email. That it shows he has no respect for me and its a cowards way of expressing how he feels and I would never do that to him. Then he goes "oh I get so scared to say things to your face coz you might blow up at me" I'm 24 and he's 29.
I've house shared for nearly 7 years now. I understand communication is the most important thing as well as tolerance.
Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Is it acceptable to talk out differences via email?
2007-10-30 17:16:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No. I think you are right that he should be willing to discuss things with you in person especially when he is confronting.
What you can suggest is if he is having a hard time with putting things into words, he should continue to use e-mail BUT you and he must be able to then talk about the issues in person without him flaking out.
Hope this helps and hope he meets you half way. Seems like you guys have been sharing this house for so long that this is not unreasonable.
2007-10-30 17:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by Indya M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different people have different communication styles. If he wants to put it in an email thats fine, but let him know he is not to send it to your work email as that is public domain and you dont need the IT guys at work reading about your lack of saran wrapping skills. I know that you would prefer a face to face conversation, but this is just how th eguy wants to deal with it. To make a happy home, just try to do better with his complaints. I mean, they ar enot that unreasonable. He wants you to use more saran wrao and buy him mustard. Its not like he wants you to build a cememnt wall in the house with your bare hands in 24 hrs. Good luck!! Better to have peace over such dumb requests he has!!
2007-10-31 08:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important that you always speak face to face and lay all of your grips out on the table so that they dont escalate. If the person complains make sure you dont over react and tell them you'll take care of it. You might also want to bring up something about him that bothers you (something that isn't a big deal)--- see how he reacts. This might prompt him to bring up a complaint about you, thus opening up communication. If you have lived together 7 years you really should know each others differences and learn to accept them at this point or at least have a decent system on how to talk about things that bother you.
2007-10-31 00:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jay W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the offense of borrowing someone’s belongings without asking outweighs discussing things over e-Mail.
Do you blow up when your housemate talks to you about these issues? If conversations with you are become a loop around the ninth circle of Hell, then I can understand why he would avoid the face to face and opt for the e-Mail discussion.
There have been times that I have used e-Mail when I have not been able to catch a person or when I wanted to lay the groundwork for a future conversation. I’ll also use e-Mail for someone that constantly interrupts me when we are talking.
I do think he should avoid communicating with you using your work e-Mail.
2007-10-31 01:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talking through an email is just not personal. Obviously this is a business arrangement for him. So I would not take it so as disrespect. He addressed his issues and you responded w/out blowing your top. So you all ready showed him that you are reasonable. It wasn't cowardice, blame it on technology. It's the 21st century and people feel comfortable speaking through technology then seeing people face to face. It's just not personal...Don't make a bigger issue than it is or he may think you like him more than friends.
2007-10-31 00:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by blaqisbaq 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he feels uncomfortable talking to you, maybe he should have the option of putting his requests in writing.
It seems that the things that he requested are common courtesies that you should already be aware of, especially after having shared houses for 7 years!!
You need to learn to respect other people's property, and not use their things. Also, you should know that leaving food uncovered causes odor in the refrigerator,which will cause fresh fruits and vegetables to taste bad.
2007-10-31 00:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should not be sending you Emails at work. Sit down and iron out the problems. Make a list of what needs to be done. Otherwise your living arrangements won't work out.
2007-10-31 00:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should be able to speak to each other in person and voice your differences. I think that an email is just a cowards way of saying whatever needs to be said.
2007-10-31 00:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Exxclusive 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he really is afraid you'll blow up at him... look at your personality type- you are here venting instead of moving on with it like you really do understand... Don't be so sensitive.
2007-10-31 03:16:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a real man to live with you. Get a boyfriend that will meet you half way.
2007-10-31 00:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by bravofan71 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋