my boyfriend went into rehab, choice of jail or rehab court ordered .... i heard he's back at work this week and i'm curious if you think i should call him to see how he is or just leave him alone.
maybe he met someone new at rehab or maybe he wants to be alone.
i've never known him clean and sober, so he will be some brand new to me and i'm kinda scared to make the first move.
i think he is scared too.
what do you think ?
2007-10-30 17:14:39 · 22 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have never taken drugs and very rarely drink alcohol.
We have many things in common such as sports that use to fill our life.
2007-10-30 17:18:59 · update #1
I never wrote to him while he was away in rehab for 4 months because I thought it best, now i'm unsure.
I only want what is best for him ..... I'm really proud of him !
2007-10-30 17:30:37 · update #2
He's your buddy and he'll call or stop by and visit you when he feels more stable. I've gone through something similar and needed time to myself to adjust , get working earn money, get family organized and then when I felt relaxed I called my friends last cause I knew they would wait for me.
I bet he knows you are waiting for him.
Good luck sweetheart and keep smiling
2007-10-30 17:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by 21 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you're scared. There are a lot of scary things here. First priority - is this someone who is good for you? Would it be good for you to have him back in your life? If the answer is no, none of the rest of it matters. Leave him alone, no matter how hard that is. How much has he messed up his life, and how will that impact yours?
If you're sure you want to give him another chance, there are some tough things to face. He may not really know himself clean and sober either, and still be trying to feel his way. He may be trying to get back on his feet with his job, his family, etc. He may not know what he wants in a relationship, or be ready to be in one.
Depending on what your relationship was like before, he may be feeling guilty about things he did when he was having problems, and not know how you'll respond now. If that's the case, he'd probably appreciate hearing from you. Or, maybe he feels the need to make a clean break with that time in his life. Even if that's the case, you and he would probably both feel better if you talk once, however briefly, and get some closure. And if he just doesn't want to talk - at least you know that and you don't have to wonder what would have happened if you'd tried.
So, if and only if you think it would be good for you, I'd call him. But think hard about what's best for you.
2007-10-30 17:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by GPB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-14 09:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him be while he cleans up his life.
I think part of his rehab is to make a fresh start. Even if you are a good influence on his life, he needs time.
This really had to be all about him. It's not easy what he's doing. Let him come to you when he's ready, if he's ready.
2007-10-30 17:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by paperpenandtea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could make the first move, but you don't want to pressure him into anything.
He could be ashamed of how he acted in the past, or he could be scared to make the first move.
Give him some time to get into post-rehab life, and then you can make the first move. However, if he wants you to back off, respect his wishes...
2007-10-30 17:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by Cinoi1551 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not go for a guy that doesn't even need rehab? That's just asking for trouble. Don't you deserve better? If he hasn't tried to see you, maybe he's not interested. He might be doing you a favor. Good luck!
2007-10-30 17:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lola 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see how it would hurt to give him a call. Don't put any pressure on him about why he hasn't called you and all that though. He's probably been through a lot and is just trying to get himself together.
Call him up, ask him how's he been. Let him know that your proud of him. Just be a friend and don't expect too much ...
2007-10-30 17:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by headphoneloser 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hes your boyfriend? Why would you choose him? Equally as important... hes your boyfriend and you havent heard from him for four months? Even if he didn't contact you for less then a week out of rehab which hes been out of id think that was strange never mind four months? I am closer to just average friends then that!
If you were with him when he was unclean and doing things to warrant court time then Id say it would be a step up for you to get back with him when hes clean and anew! But i doubt he is and even if he was would be step down for any self respecting woman.
2007-10-30 17:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If he hasn't called yet, let him go. He may be trying to change his life for the better and he might not be able to do that around his past. If you care for him, let him go. If it's meant to be, he'll come back to you.
2007-10-30 17:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by Julie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. If its been for months and not a peep, then he just does not want to talk to you. Let it go and move on. If you do drugs mabe you to need to go to jail or rehab.
2007-10-30 17:19:24 · answer #10 · answered by mskylers 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋