I have recently found god and what should 1 do...???

Question

It doesn't seem to be working. I've had a problem with alcohol 4 8 years now and have been married for 11. My wife and I have fallen into the habbit of fighting when we drink (she also has an alcohol problem). The problem is that I physically and mentally abuse her when i'm drunk and start fighting almost 3x a week. So, i decided to turn to God 6 months ago and it's not working. I gave her a blood lip and a bruised cheek the other day...i need help as i'm beginning to lose faith.

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. I have lived with an alcoholic and its sometimes terrifying. I urge you to try some sort of support group. With your wife also drinking, you will need to try to see if she would also join you. Quitting something is really hard if the thing that you are addicted to, is right in front of you. Everyone does things that they are not proud of when they are drunk. The fact that you acknowledge what you are doing is a start. Im not saying that turning to God will help, and Im not saying it wont. I think that you should place most of your faith in yourself. You cant change something if you dont feel it in your heart.

I wish you the best of luck sweetie, let me know how you are doing.

Answer 2

A Metalhead and a Christian, huh? These 2 things kind of cancel each other out right? It seems alot of people turn to a God in order to help themselves with their problems, this is especially true with drunks like yourself. What a bunch of BS! Believe in yourself and stop this God nonsense. As a true Metalhead you should know that established religion is BS. The only thing God will help you with is weakening your spirit and mind so your more willing to conform to other peoples beliefs. It sounds like you 2 set each other off as soon as you start to drink, if both of you cant stop drinking then one of you has to go. If you drink 3 times or more a week then you have a problem, if you cant handle booze give it the fu*k up already. AA and all this other God sponsored please help me Im pathetic BS does help some, but in the end its all about you. Has anything you done in your life the last 5 years made it better? If not then you need to change everything about your life. I am not saying stop with the Metal, NO NO. Metal and the powerlessness you have with booze has nothing to do with each other. Your a alcoholic and a abuser, you cant get much lower than this. So why not just end it with the booze and start to enjoy things without this monkey on your shoulders. And if your wife cant quit its time to seperate, but if her problem is brought on directly from your drinking, a type of co-dependent, then maybe if you quit she will follow. Even though God's not really the problem here you should still quit the nonsense of this higher power BS and start to believe in yourself. Nobody can help you but you. Metal is all about unity and strength, and from one Metalhead to another I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

You're going through something every Christian goes through in the beginning. The biggest fight every Christian goes through is letting go of the things of this world. In your case drinking maybe the big struggle. It's a stronghold of sin built by your old human nature, and it will take much time to destroy. Seek help in the church, start reading you're Bible daily, and most important of all, keep praying for deliverance, faith, knowledge, and understanding. You can try AA meetings but most likely talk about your problems for years and not get over it. It works for some people, but for a child of God, He's the only option that works.

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Read the chapter for context, the idea is, God will give the grace to overcome anything even when it seems impossible to man.

Answer 4

First--You and your wife should both get into an alcoholism counseling group such as AA, and you should both also find someone who can offer you good abuse counseling.

Don't give up on faith yet. You want to change, or you wouldn't have sought help from faith and from here. The problem is, you also still want to drink. If you didn't still want to drink, you wouldn't.

Faith can't make you not want alcohol., nor can it stop you from taking a drink. What faith does is help you resist the craving for it. It gives you the strength to tell yourself, "Yes, I CAN resist the urge to drink this beer--because I love my wife and don't want to hurt her. I WILL resist the urge today--because my love is stronger than my need for this beer."

Best wishes. I hope you and your wife will find what you need and be able to get through this rough time together.

Answer 5

My brother,

You have taken the first step...and that is confession. However, you are confessing to the wrong people.

1. Confess to your wife and ask for forgiveness.
2. Confess to God(in front of your wife is possible) and ask for forgiveness.
3. Repent....you have already started this by confession....but now you must turn away from the sin. How do you do this...???
4. Read God's Word with understanding. Ask God each time to give you understanding. If you know Christ, you are saved(your soul from hell) but we must everyday crucify the flesh. We must allow the Word of God to do this. We CAN'T. That's why Christ died for us, because we can't do anything about our sin...but die in it.
5. Listen to Christian music....praise and worship is the best.
6. Find a Bible believing church which is not afraid to preach the truth...for the truth will set you free.
7. You are bound by a spirit of alcohol, but Jesus died to set you from spiritual opression.
8. FREE WILL....we all make choices to do sin. Don't buy alcohol, dont go where its served, dont drink it. You must choose.
9. Remember....it is the Word of God within us that changes us. Not us. As you hear the word, study the word, learn the word, read the word....its the WORD the WORD, the WORD..that changes us from the inside out. God doesnt always take everything when we get saved. Some things take longer.
10..Do you want to be free from alcohol and other sin? If so, you must lay it at the foot of the cross. I know thats hard. All of us have something that we dont want to let go of. But in order to be set free, we must leave it at the cross.

Joh 8:31 ..."If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,
Joh 8:32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Jas 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


email me for more info......

peace in Jesus....my brother.

Answer 6

Metalhead, Usually, when we turn our lives over to God, He creates within us, a new heart. Meaning, many sinful things you have done, as a Christian, would now repulse you. I will not question your salvation as that is between you and God. I am not your judge, God is and that is firmly where any judgement should come!

I appreciate your honesty! In as much, I hope you will appreciate my honesty with you. To become drunken and to lash out, physically...this is not a failure in your relationship, with God. It is an addiction, which God can free you and your wife! However, I pray that you realize this and both of you get the proper help.

Another thing, you said that you turned to God because of your fighting and such. Turning to God, means we truly open our hearts to Him! We seek Him through prayer, scripture and worship. Why? Because we DESIRE a true and abiding relationship with the Creator! I pray to you open your heart wide to the Lord, that you and your wife will come to know our Creator, in a very personal way and that you both will be set free from alcohlism and abuse!

God Bless You Both,
Gail

Answer 7

I think it is a problem of self control
you can't control yourself or the drinking
God will help you learn to control, if you look up how to get the flesh in line
I think you need God, you also need to get away from your wife and stop abusing her
you should check into a center on Alcohol and abuse for more that 30 days maybe 60 they will counsil you and your wife and maybe find a way for you to stop your abuse if not go direct to jail that will help

Answer 8

Don't lose him next time.

Seriously, just quit drinking. It would be easier if your wife did not drink, but God will not keep you sober. That is AA thinking the disease lie the powerless needing a higher to grant a daily reprieve.

Now the God of the bible promises POWER, in fact demands it, for it says for those who have problems with any sin to stop. The God of the bible believes the person has the power to stop these things or he would not demand people to just stop.Phillipians4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which is saying the believer has the power to do whatever it is that faith requires.

I am a former alcoholic. I quit drinking 15 years ago without AA and without believing it was God doing it for me. I just chose to take back my power and chose not to drink.

Now if you are serious about quitting, then you have a tough challenge since your wife has a drinking problem also and it may be you cannot stay with her and stay sober. That is something you will have to answer.


I am a former alcoholic, notice I said former, because I am not powerless and do not need a daily reprieve. If you want to believe that it is with God's help that you quit then fine but remember it is your choice to take that first drink each day that leads to another and another. Choose instead to not take that first drink.
I tried God but when faith is weak then I drank then I tried AA and could not subscribe to their higher power and powerless, so I decided to do it myself for myself and have not drank in 15 years..
BB

Answer 9

First of all if by 'finding god' you mean you have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior, then that is a step in the right direction.
If it doesn't mean that, then you need turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to save you. In Him and only Him is there any kind of deliverance from any kind of sin.
Second, if you have accepted Christ, satan is trying to keep you from having the life you can in Him. Stop listening to the devil and get into a church that teaches the Word. Get people to pray for you and your wife.
Daily turn your life and problems over to the hands of the Lord. For some people it takes time for the habits of years to be overcome, but only in Jesus can they truly be beaten.
A. A. is not a bad suggestion, but do get into church and the support of other believers.

Answer 10

www.rationalrecovery.org

Stop drinking...you know what the problem is and so does God...but you aren't listening to yourself or to him! God will help you but he isn't going to wave a magic wand or otherwise force you to do what you know you need to do. You have all the evidence you need to know that you + alcohol = bad outcomes. Take the alcohol out of the equation and you'll have a lot easier time hearing God over the clamoring of that addictive voice in your head that keeps telling you that you'll die if you don't have a drink! That voice is lying to you...God and your own rational mind are telling you the truth...listen to them!